My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and ME!
Imagine a groundbreaking podcast where your current wife and your ex-wife share a mic. In this captivating podcast, Denny takes center stage as he navigates conversations with Jamie, his ex-wife, and Amanda, his present wife, using nothing but a microphone to untangle the complexities of their intertwined lives. Together, they explore the challenges and triumphs of parenting, tackling sensitive subjects such as divorce, co-parenting, and the emotional journey of overcoming cancer while cheering on their shared daughter, Audrey. Throughout the episodes, our trio courageously confronts the realities of their relationships, discussing adoption, the dynamics of blended families, and the sometimes turbulent waters of step-parenting. This podcast invites listeners into an authentic dialogue about life and family, emphasizing the theme of "parenting without excuses." With humor, honesty, and heartfelt insight, Denny, Jamie, and Amanda offer a refreshing perspective on what it truly means to support one another as co-parents and navigate the complexities of modern family life.
My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and ME!
Survival and Recovery: Allison Smith's Journey Through Trauma and Healing
What happens when you're thrust into a life-or-death situation with no time to think? This week, we explore Allison Smith's terrifying ordeal of carjacking and abduction, where she had to rely on her instincts to survive. Her story isn't just about the harrowing moments of the kidnapping but also about the journey of recovery and resilience that followed. Allison shares the emotional aftermath, the complex web of trauma, and her path toward healing, offering a profound look at the human spirit's ability to endure.
As we dive into the intricate dynamics of trauma, we also take some time for lighter reflections, such as updates from the Family Fantasy Football League, where I admit to an amusing defeat by Amanda. We examine the nuances of trust and communication in relationships, drawing on personal stories to provide candid advice. This episode underlines the importance of empathy and support in overcoming adversity, showcasing both the serious and the everyday moments that shape our lives.
Join us as we navigate through a spectrum of experiences, from Allison's gripping accounts of survival to discussions on healing journeys and the importance of owning one's story. We encourage listeners to support Allison on platforms like TikTok and Venmo as she continues to inspire with her strength and vulnerability. Through these narratives, we highlight the power of sharing and the collective strength found in community support, leaving you inspired by the resilience and courage of the human spirit.
Allison needs our help. Would you join us in assisting her? She uses Venmo and could use all the help she can get....here is her "handle" on Venmo: @shakinblues
I'm Amanda, the wife, and I'm Jams, the ex-wife, and I'm Brayden just the future.
Speaker 3:Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Denny Broins. I'm the only man dumb enough to get his wife and ex-wife in a studio to do a podcast. And here it is my wife, my ex-wife and me.
Speaker 4:That peace and happiness might be found there. You give me hope, and now, now we have to say goodbye. Ouch, if there's any bitches in this room.
Speaker 5:Then there's something I gotta say For all the fools who fell for the first.
Speaker 4:Girl who comes their way. I've been down that road and now I'm back Sitting on square one Trying to pick myself up when I started from. My wife, my ex-wife and me.
Speaker 3:Starts now Starts right now I'm trying to pick myself up. Where do I start it from? My Wife, my Ex-Wife and Me starts now. Starts right now. Welcome to this week's edition of my Wife, my Ex-Wife and Me. My name is Denny Bruins. I'm with you in the Every Joke has a Little Truth studio, the basement of our home. We have just had what I would consider an incredible conversation with someone from upstate New York.
Speaker 1:I have Allison Smith Never been so enamored by somebody? Oh?
Speaker 2:I know I would. I hung on every word, like what's happening next?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, she was. So the story is if you've been on TikTok, you may have already run across her on TikTok. She does a story where she shows her face coming back from being beaten. She was carjacked, we've learned that she was asking for a dime from someone. Yeah, and it led to this and it led to them getting her in her car and threatening her life and driving don't tell it all well, it's, I'm just giving she was beaten senseless oh yeah, and managed to get away run for help.
Speaker 1:Continue running, because nobody would still help her until she finally just fell on the floor of a bodega and bled on their floor until they decided?
Speaker 3:I don't know I was going to ask. Somebody's got to go.
Speaker 1:I'm assuming it's like a store of some sort.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but it's like a little restaurant.
Speaker 1:Restaurant type thing, maybe, like a place that you can eat and buy food at the same time.
Speaker 2:Eat and buy food. A small owner operated convenience store that sells groceries, wine and prepared food.
Speaker 3:Look at you honey, let me know you called it, but yeah, but on the floor until they finally called help. And she said they were even not excited about that. Now I guess I'm not excited if people come in and bleed on my floor.
Speaker 2:But for fuck's sake, I don't have a shit.
Speaker 1:If you see her face, she clearly was in need of dire medical attention.
Speaker 3:I would have wondered if she was going to die. Then yeah, and we talk about it. She's a young, pretty girl. She's not as young as I thought she's in her 30s, and how she didn't get murdered or raped is, I have no idea, crazy, but she didn't and I, and I say that, um, I say that because I think she had the presence of mind to avoid it. She did, she did some of the smartest things, she did phenomenal.
Speaker 3:Um, you know, as you listen to her story, you may think well, why didn't you do this? We even asked a couple of questions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hey, you know, in this particular but I think she read the people again, she, she was assessing her situation and she read the people and she read them correctly enough to get out alive. Yeah, because again me in that situation, don't think I am Nope, dead, dead.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think you both are.
Speaker 1:Because I would. I would try and outsmart them.
Speaker 3:Yes, ended up just getting and you can't outsmart stupid people.
Speaker 2:No, that's true. No, that's true.
Speaker 3:It is. It really is, because when you're up against somebody who has nothing to lose, they have nothing to live for there's a whole different ballgame.
Speaker 2:Just wait, just freaking wait, till you hear her story, seriously, yeah.
Speaker 3:So, in the interest of time, I'm going to skip the introductions. Brayden had to leave because it is his birthday.
Speaker 1:Happy birthday, Brayden.
Speaker 3:I was going to do the Michael Bolton Today is your birthday but he was in a mood and left Whatever. We love him, but my God.
Speaker 1:He's too cool for birthday songs. Now, that's right yeah.
Speaker 3:So we're going to roll right into the story. We're going to save the football. Tgc SOD. Family Fantasy Football League. I stuttered Family Fantasy Football League update Until next week. I lost this week to Jams, or not to Jams, to.
Speaker 1:Amanda, not just lost, you got your little ass handed to you.
Speaker 3:I wasn't the lowest score. I have to buy a point.
Speaker 1:I have to spin, jams gets to spin, you're still going to do the spin, but it's going to be next week.
Speaker 3:Okay, you might have to spend it twice.
Speaker 2:No, that's fucking bullshit. Well, if you lose this week, I'm not losing against Braden, I will kill myself. Okay, well, that was a little far. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that that's not okay.
Speaker 3:You never know. Give this a listen. Let us know we're going to get back on the other side with the little uh relationship advice with ams and jams. Listen to this incredible recount. Is it recount?
Speaker 1:retelling. No, not a retelling. She was reliving it as she was telling you have to listen to this incredible story I would. I would like to ask, like all of our avid listeners, even if you normally just listen to us go and watch the YouTube video of at least the interview part and watch and watch her as she's telling the story, because you can see her reliving it and how she has to work to get through every piece of it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but yet she's. She says it all with an incredible strength I've said the word incredible too many times, but that's the only word I can think of strong enough to describe her power. So, alison Smith, thank you, we're glad you're alive, we're glad you're okay and, uh, we'll see you on the other side.
Speaker 4:If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. And now on with the show.
Speaker 3:On the line with us this week. This is a little different than what we normally do here on the podcast. We normally try and find funny subjects that we want to talk about. We normally spend our time looking for somebody, quirky somebody off a little bit. I mean, you guys remember.
Speaker 1:That's kind of rude to say to our past guests.
Speaker 3:I'm not meaning it like in a bad way, but I'm quirky and off. That's right. That's right, then that's okay. So, but this week's a little different. You're a dick. Don't say that to our guest, not you him.
Speaker 3:So this week we have a little different guest and you're going to learn more about her and why she wanted to have, you know, facial reconstruction surgery. It looks like at some point that was horrible, by the way. So, yeah, let's go ahead and do the introduction on the line with us. From upstate New York, it is our new friend Allison. Hello, allison, welcome to the podcast. How are you doing this evening? I am doing, doing good, I've had a really good week. She says this is her first podcast.
Speaker 5:That she's ever been on. Yes, breaking my podcast, virginity, I'm liking you right out of the gate.
Speaker 3:I'm liking you right out of the gate. I'm liking you right out of the gate. Another young victim for you, Denny, Another young. Well, I don't think, Allison, I'm going to go right down this rabbit hole with you right now. Let's do it. Jams just made a joke that you're young, so you're right in my wheelhouse, but I'm guessing I'm not in yours.
Speaker 5:I'm a little fruity, 98% fruity 98% fruity.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 3:Stay away from my wife. I think she's 98%. Curious is what I think.
Speaker 1:It doesn't even take that much of a percentage. I can promise you bro.
Speaker 3:If you have questions.
Speaker 5:That's what they like, so that's right, that's right To each their own Allison.
Speaker 3:that's what I say. So we have you on the podcast. I found you on TikTok I was just scrolling through and I don't know what it says about me that you hit my algorithm. But you did, and it was a video that you placed or that you put out that shows you after a very traumatic event. And do you mind if I go ahead and play that now on the podcast so everybody can see it?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:All right, so this is Allison. She posted this on TikTok. Where can we find you on TikTok, allison, if anyone wants to go see it on their own?
Speaker 5:where can we find you on tiktok allison if anyone wants to?
Speaker 3:go see it on their own. It's shaken blue, shaken blues, shaken blues. I like you that's what I did to brayden when he was young. I shook him until I was blue. Yes, I might explain something. That doesn't explain everything, but it's some. So here is the video that caught my attention.
Speaker 4:But look at you. Look how far you've come. You faced your trauma. You came out on the other side and I'm sorry to get a little emotional, but there were some times there when I was really worried about you, Miss Girl, Look at you today. I am so proud of you. You survived baby.
Speaker 3:You're a survivor. So on September the 13th which was a Friday, by the way you had a pretty eventful day. Tell us what happened.
Speaker 5:Yes, it really wasn't eventful until that happened. I was getting ready to make some dinner and come home it was like about 7.30 probably and I was going across the street to get some change and check on my if they had my vape flavor or not. Going to be cream to cold vape.
Speaker 3:You got to get that good stuff.
Speaker 5:For me, because I always sell them out. But they didn't have those and so I was basically and this is kind of the inside and talked about this, so but basically, as I was going in, I was trying to get bills made for my air conditioning bill it doesn't really matter but I went in there to do that and then I came out I was like 20 cents short and I looked on the ground and there was a dime and so I picked that up and then I like looked at these two people. I had noticed them when I was going in and it's kind of like a shady I'm in a shady part of town, like that's. That's very clear now too. But, um, I noticed them and they were like I kind of regretted right away asking, but I was just like I looked around and I looked up and I was like, hey, man, do you have 10 cents? Because you know. And I was like, if not, it's okay, I'll just go to my car.
Speaker 5:And this woman with him she was like giant. He was a giant man and she was like just as big as him and she just kind of like a very angry looking person and so I didn't. I mean, she was very masculine too, I didn't. I mean, she was very masculine too, so I didn't think they were together, but it was just kind of an odd pairing, I guess. And so she was kind of hitting him like oh, don't give her any. And I was just like yo, it's totally fine, like oh, I'll just go to my car A fucking dime A dime, are you serious?
Speaker 5:This is all over a dime. Oh my God, all over a dime. Oh my God, All over a dime. That's what we joke about too. It's like wow. Now I have one more question.
Speaker 3:I don't mean to interrupt, but who the fuck, who the fuck? Is inside the convenience store that doesn't just say, hey, don't sweat the dime, I've got you covered?
Speaker 5:It was because I was trying to get change made into cash. Oh it was like because usually he would let something like that go, but I mean he's still kind of whatever.
Speaker 3:It's 10 cents today actually did you remind him, did you say hey, could he use that dime?
Speaker 5:yeah, I'll just go in there and slap a dime down don't let this happen again yeah, because I didn't. So I mentioned my car and then I'm like it's okay, I'll just go get my car, no big deal.
Speaker 5:And then he stops me and he's like no, no, no, no wait, and it was like they were like whispering about something and, by the way, throughout this story and the reason I'm like kind of, you know, it's like hard to share details, is because I, I look back and I'm like what all this time, like what could I have done at any point?
Speaker 5:to avoid this and it's hard like that will drive you crazy, that that's been like probably the hardest part of this, but then I just bring myself back to like I survived and that's wild, like most people, and I'm already a trauma survivor, and so I think my trauma responses were aligned with what I've done in the past, which is really just like appeasing and, you know, like kind of submitting and freezing. I'm a freezer, I'm not a fighter. Okay, so wait a minute, but I became a fighter that night.
Speaker 3:I have a question about that and you don't have to go into details. I won't ask you.
Speaker 5:to you, you had had some trauma prior to this experience, then yeah, so complex ptsd, which is the result of like an extended amount of ptsd.
Speaker 5:And then I also have singular event ptsd, which is from like a situation kind of like commonly known, you know, life or death situation had a couple of those as well, wow yeah you don't seem all that old but my ex-husband was uh well, it kind of started in childhood and then like I had a great childhood but the my emotional needs and stuff like that not being met and then trying to I was okay, sorry you're okay, take your time when I was like middle school. All right, can you tell, I'm adhd just a little bit, but we're not gonna hold that against you.
Speaker 3:Jams is too I'm following okay good it's gonna be.
Speaker 5:But basically to kind of sum up my past trauma, I would say from the age of 13 I was with this man and I ended up marrying him at 19 and he would be was half the time in psychosis, like a deep psychosis, where he did crazy things like shave half of his head to sacrifice to Kendrick Lamar or just some crazies, or try to drive my car, wow Into a crowd to mow down a crowd of like 50 people. So that's where most of my trauma sorry, plugging this in that's where most of my trauma is.
Speaker 5:um was during that time, um, and then getting re-traumatized after and then going into this. I wasn't really coming to terms with it, but I was in an abusive, narcissistic relationship and it only lasted like a couple of months, but I was finding it so hard to leave, I think because and maybe other trauma survivors can relate but it was so familiar to me and so, even though, like, everything in me is like avoid, avoid, avoid that happening again.
Speaker 5:It's also there's this part of the mind that is so comfortable and familiar with that and so what you're saying is it doesn't necessarily scare you right?
Speaker 5:Right and so. So that was one one thing I was kind of, but I've been in a state of recovery and healing and I've just come a long way with that. I've been healing from PTSD, like actively with therapists and substance 2017. Then through Saraset, emdr, like lots of really great things. So that's kind of my background with trauma. Um, in a tiny little nutshell. Um, but nothing like that, nothing of this. I experienced violence and like very life or death situations almost being killed and all of that, but before this or any sort of violence on this level, no okay, okay.
Speaker 3:So you're in the parking lot. You've experienced all this stuff in your life before your spidey senses are going off saying, hey, danger, danger, danger, get away from this. But you're not afraid, so you stick to it. Yeah, and you are going to retreat, you are going to your car, but you feel comfortable when this dude says, hey, don't sweat it, take it from there. What happens when he says hold on a second, what's he do next?
Speaker 5:so he hands me a five and I was like, okay, you know, I'll get you your change. I went back in the store, came out, gave him the five or 440 or 490, whatever, said thank you. And then the girl is hitting him and it's hard for me when I describe them and like I, I don't know, I so innocent, I so naive, I don't really it's hard to talk like that, but it was very right off the bat, just very uncouth and like she's hitting him and she's like oh, you really think you can, you can take my money. She's like we don't want your chains bitch and like all getting in my face and oh, this is not the vibe.
Speaker 5:Um, I was not trying to cause any problems and so I was just like you know she? What I was thinking was because she looked very much like cracked out, like tweaking, I think that she didn't want to change because she probably getting drugs. So I didn't want to get in the way of that and I was like, yo, it's totally fine, like I'm, I'm going to just go to my car. And I don't know at which point, I don't know if it was before this or because maybe that's why they gave me the five because they knew I had a car and it was an expensive car by the way but it was not mine.
Speaker 5:My dad buys and sells cars and he was allowing me to. It's the most nice thing that I've ever driven. I I drive junk cars, I don't care, but he was helping me out with a vehicle and it was actually my last day of driving that car around, so it was a flashy car.
Speaker 3:And what kind was it? What kind of car was it?
Speaker 5:It was an accurate. It was like a $27,000 car. So, it was not like fast and furious or anything, but it was really, you know, for the area, yeah, for the area, especially in carjackings in our area.
Speaker 5:It was crazy, like going to the impound and seeing the thousands and thousands and it's just on the news every night the kia boys and kia girls where they know how to hot wire the kias and they they don't steal them to like sell them or anything. It's like just senseless, like they'll go and enjoy and they'll boost and get the stuff from storage. So it's just kind of a wild, the wild wild west out there. Um, and I've known this, so I do have this in my head, but I'm also, I don't know, I I lead with compassion and kindness and like kind of give people the benefit of the doubt. I think now, after this, I still still can have that.
Speaker 5:But when something, when your gut tells you something, yeah, it's usually right, and I think that I could probably say that about all of the dangerous situations I've been in it's that moment where you're like, oh, this feels weird, something's off. They were basically like, oh, this feels weird, something's off. They were basically like, like you said, just really rude and I was just like I'm just gonna go back to my cars right over there. It was literally across the street and in. So this happened right outside my building. Well, the first part. So they, they were like no, we're following you, like you're gonna just take off, and I was like no, I'm, I will be here, I will drive the car to you, because I had to go to the store or anyway to get the grocery store.
Speaker 5:And so I I'm like kind of at this point I crossed the street and they were like nah, we're following you there. And I was just like I'm just going to pull out. And so I got in my car, thinking like that was a power move. I don't know, I was just like, if I'm in my car, I didn't think at all that like I thought I can just drive away, right. And so they come up and the doors are unlocked I don't know if it's because I had my key but they just hop in the car like casually and I'm just like frozen again. And so then they start talking about weapons. The head honcho, crazy eyes We'll call her. It's sitting next to me. She's got shaved head like very intimidating person Probably the scariest you know seared in my brain. Where's she?
Speaker 3:sitting. Is she in the?
Speaker 5:passenger seat yeah.
Speaker 3:Eyes. Huh, is she in the passenger seat sitting next to you?
Speaker 5:Yeah. So she's sitting next to me and then this big man, really big man, really big man, he's in the back and he makes a motion, like he's holding, and she said, you know, she was basically saying in her tone and vernacular that if I wanted to live, I should drive. And I was just like guys, I, I have to be back. People are going to be looking for me at nine or eight and um, because it was like 7, 30 and they're like well, we'll get you back on time if you've been alive, if you drive, and so all sorts of it. Time stopped there. And they're both like she didn't say this nicely, obviously like she's in my face basically saying you, you want to die, you want to die, you know, and and then he's just like just do what she says and you'll be okay.
Speaker 5:So immediately I kind of grasped that she was the leader, which was kind of an odd dynamic. He was almost playing like not good guy, but I think that his sexual interest, like engrossedness, maybe caused him to be a little bit more warm. I get like, as far as him talking to me, she didn't want me to know shit. So so she says it's right down the street, bitch, we're getting there either way. I still, reluctantly, I like pull out and she's making me head to an even worse side of town.
Speaker 5:And here's the thing Ironically, a week, but not even a week before this, I was driving with my friend Vinny and she was like you still use the GPS to get to Wegmans, and I was like dude, I, I have to do something. A part of my ADHD, my rote memorization, is like non-existent, and so I was like I don't, I don't remember street names, I don't. I have to do something, probably a thousand times, to really ingrain it in my brain. So that's, that's that. So I was like dude, I would be fucked if I got kidnapped. Oh no, after this happened, she was like allison, you manifest that's right.
Speaker 3:You made this shit happen. You never speak about it, never speak it into existence ever.
Speaker 5:I know, and I truly was fucked because I didn't know. I mean, I knew in general the area that I was, but I didn't grow up in the city part. I've grown up, I grew up outside of the city and and I moved away a lot. I was in San Diego for a long time, so it it's been different. You know, I've I've just been kind of learning the area, but I know specifically this area is bad and so we're heading there and she's just make me stop.
Speaker 5:So I I made a sharp turn and she made me pull over and slap me and was like if you pull any shit, there's going to be a bullet through your head, any shit. Like she was insinuating kind of that. I was like trying to, I don't know, like crush the car, like bring attention. So she was mad about that and so I had to drive extra careful and she would like slap me if I did any, if I break too hard, like it was very tense. Oh, and I forgot to say, when she got in the car she ripped my phone off of the plug-in and like threw it and was like this is my car now, bitch.
Speaker 5:And that's when I knew that I probably wasn't going to make it home, like she said, like a very big promise keeper. So I'm just trying to keep my head on straight. I think in the beginning I'm like if I let them, if I let them, if I don't panic and make a big deal about this, maybe they'll think that I'm like I don't panic and and make a big deal about this. Maybe they'll think that I'm like I don't know There'll be less inclined to kill me because I'm not screaming and you know, trying to get it. So I was just trying to keep my head down and do what they're saying and so, yeah, sorry, it like jumps around a lot, but you're fine you take your time so the first stop she gets out.
Speaker 5:The first stop yeah, it wasn't just one stop, no, no, the first stop. She gets out and there's like a group of people and at this point I did not leave the car, she, she was and she left the man. She said you make one move, you're fucking dead, you're fucking dead. So she leaves this creepy man with me and I see her outside and I'm trying to kind of like hear what's going on outside? Um, and that seems like there's. There's a bunch of people and I'm thinking, okay, she's going to get this crew to like jump me. And you know, like I thought that that was it, but no, so I'm in the car and then this guy just starts talking about sexual nasty stuff and saying you know, if you're my bitch, then then you'll be safe, and all this stuff and stupid me. I was just like I'm sorry, man, I have a girlfriend. He was like he did not care.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry, he did not respect my no, I can imagine what you're interested in doesn't matter to him in the least. You have the parts he's interested in and that's so sick, so sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 5:Yeah, no Real. So he shot his shot and I turned that down gracefully, and I turned it down Graceful.
Speaker 2:You are one of my favorite guests just by that statement alone. He shot his shot. I shut him down Gracefully, while I'm being kidnapped, yeah.
Speaker 5:I kept my manners, you know, and I really did. I didn't go. Maybe if I went back I wouldn't have been so, but then at the same time I think I part. However, I handled it, and me being me really did get me through it in a very weird way, but I was I'm I'd like to think I'm a pretty emotionally intelligent person. So I was like reading everybody and I was reading him. I know he was kind of playing the good guy and then, from what I was gathering, he's, he's trying.
Speaker 5:So she's outside the car and she's trying to bring this younger girl into the car and it seems like they're in kind of a domestic violence sort of situation and but the girl you know it's it then turns kind of playful. It seems like this girl's had this happen a lot, I don't know. She's pushed around a lot, and so she grabs a girl and she throws her in the car not throws her in the car, she's in the car, she's all smiles when she's in the car. Not throws her in the car, she's in the car, she's all smiles when she's in the car, though. I think that. So I have a lot of like assumption, like or guess.
Speaker 1:That's insane. Somebody else just gets in and you're like hey, who's driving? Oh, just this bitch that we're carjacking Cool, Don't mind her.
Speaker 5:So I'm assuming that that's what she told her to get her in the car. Like you know, come with us, then you're gonna get a little bit of the the good life, a little joy ride, and so they get drugs and then get this new girl. She comes in and and so then we're on to the next stop. The guy in the back is still trying to speak to me, and I gather from their dialogue that this is her estranged father, and so then the dynamic made a lot more sense to me, because they were, it seemed like they maybe had reunited that day or very recently, and so there's just so much tension.
Speaker 3:The new girl, or the girl that was hitting you in the front seat, the girl that was hitting me in the front, the girl that was hitting? Me in the front so that was her dad in the back and she's in the front and it's father daughter yeah, have you figured out who the new girl is?
Speaker 1:what did you figure out who the new girl was?
Speaker 5:so that's her wife.
Speaker 3:Um that, the story gets crazier about that I don't think that's possible, but go ahead One of her wives.
Speaker 5:One of her wives, that's what they call. It's like her bitch, her hoe, whatever you want to say, it's one of her girls. So she brings her in the car and the guy's talking and she hears me talking and he's just like you know, we have a wild story, we gotta tell her our story. And she's like you shut the fuck up. You shut the fuck up. She knows nothing. Do you want her fucking dead, like that kind of stuff? And I was just like no, I don't need to know nothing. I was like let me talk about myself. And and I did. I was trying to, I think, humanize myself as much as possible, so they didn't look at me as like an object or you know, super smart like I guess, and so I was.
Speaker 5:I was talking about myself a lot. I was like you know, I've been in recovery and just kind of telling them stories. I told the girl I know that she was obviously gay and so I was just like you know, I have a girlfriend and if you look at my phone that you took, that's her on the screen and she just like didn't care. That was the one positive. She was like you gay, I was like you gay, I was like yeah, and I was like, oh, I met, made like some.
Speaker 3:I got some points for that that's right. That might have helped you.
Speaker 5:You never know, yeah she was just surprised by that, but she was so not?
Speaker 5:is she the way that this this one looked at me like the little girl in that she was young, I could tell um, and this, this, the one next to me, the leader she was running the show like this was her she kind of sounds like a pimp yeah, oh, yeah mean, I don't pretend to know exactly what has happened, but if I was to guess, yeah, I mean, that's all sorts of it's a lot of really evil, scary and broken stuff, and and so, and, and, even through all of this, I I'm somebody that I like to see all sides of the situation. So, yes, I'm the victim of this crime, but I do, I can also hold space for the fact that the people on the other end of that crime are also human beings with a story that's impressive especially in the situation that you're in holy shit, allison so we had stop one.
Speaker 1:What was the next stop?
Speaker 5:so the next stop was to smoke the drugs did they offer you any? Um, they were pretty greedy about that. That was it sound weird, um they?
Speaker 3:um. They put a broken pipe.
Speaker 5:The girl did to like to like taunt me um, and I I tried my best to avoid it. In that moment I was like I don't know what the hell is in this pipe. Like you're spitting all over the city there's silencing, like it could have been anything. And so she's telling me basically, like prove it, prove it. And she wasn't smoking out of this pipe, it was just as broken, like.
Speaker 5:So in the picture you kind of see like my lips were yep, I noticed that yeah, and so that was why, um, and so I was just trying to yeah, that was a really hard moment, um and so they just proceeded to smoke and then the next. So she's this tension between the father and daughter. She's getting really mad because I think she he's giving me information, you know, or he's talking to me at least and I think she, she's thinking he has a one track mind, and what she wanted was this car, and I truly believe that the reason that I'm alive and we'll get to the last scene and how that went, but I truly believe it was her greed, because there were many points where she could have involved other people in this, and I think she saw me and she knew she could take me. She knew I didn't have street smarts, she knew that I was pretty naive to all of that and so and I clocked that right away she also knew that I didn't know directions and I didn't know where I was.
Speaker 5:Uh, because she would tell me, like, go to the street, and I was. Where is that street, though? Um, so it's she, she caught on. Can I ask you a quick?
Speaker 3:question before you move to the next. Well, I don't want to interrupt because your flow is so good. And I can tell that you're like recollecting everything, you're reliving it and I really appreciate you doing that for us, cause I'm sure that's not easy. But why do you think and I could have asked this later, but I gotta get, I gotta get the question out if they were after the car, why the fuck didn't they just get rid of you and take the car?
Speaker 5:yeah, I wondered that too yeah, I don't think I'll ever truly understand that. I really don't.
Speaker 3:It was probably the dad I think that this is me listening to you for 33 minutes and 24 seconds. That says the dad had some plans, probably, and that's why you were still there, and and it escalated at some point, which we're going to get to. But go ahead. I just I had to. I had to get your thoughts on why they wanted. She clearly wanted the car. She saw dollar signs. She thought she could look cool driving it. Maybe she thought she had some money in the bank, I don't know. But why not ditch you and take the car?
Speaker 5:So this happened right in front of my building. So this happened right in front of my building, and so what I think is that she didn't want to create a scene in front of my building. I don't think they would have killed me a lot. You know what I'm saying. I think that it was they were threatening me and banking on that, and it worked because I was scared, but it was right in front of it. This is broad daylight, not broad, but it was like seven, three. There's light outside, wow, um so, and there's people walking. You know, this is right in a fairly public area, right next to a little park, kids walking.
Speaker 5:So I don't think that they would have wanted to do, you know, that would have tension I don't ever planned on doing that, and so I think that making things as she was going along, like because once she had me it was like how do we get rid of her? But we also are you know, that's what I'm thinking. Well, the minute they feel my car. But you stole, you know, my piece at that point and I've gotten it back, but but it's yeah, I'll never understand that well, the other side of it is, if they left her, she would be able to report the car is stolen immediately.
Speaker 1:So they bought themselves more time by keeping you because no one knew that you and the car were missing. But if they had left you behind you would have been able to immediately report it yeah, yeah, there's that.
Speaker 5:And again, I think for for her it felt so personal and I know victims of crime say that like it always feels personal.
Speaker 5:But I feel like when she looked at me and probably her judgment and assessment of the situation, you know, with my car and everything that I kind of represented, everything that she hates, because I felt this deep seated hatred for me, there was no interest she she couldn't even pretend to you know, to assure me, you know, like the other guys, you know, like you're not going to die, just do this but she's in my face telling me I'm, there's this girl who left, um, left my building. I'm trying not to like, say too much about, like what my building is and stuff, but she basically left our building and she became a part of the streets and owed a lot of people a lot of money. She had leech bond hair, she was my height, um, she, you know, blue eyes, everything. So my friend, who was so awesome in a, in a witness, in a case where finding a witness is one in a million, people don't speak up about this kind of stuff.
Speaker 3:They don't there's fear.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, fear of retali, retaliation and it's just so that doesn't happen, and and shout out to her love. You denise, um, but she, she really helped and she's, she's the one she saw them get into my car and she was like that is not right. She almost called the cops but didn't want to, you know, stir up trouble. And I think she she said she was sick over it, like she couldn't sleep and she was waiting up for me and everything. Um, she knew something was deeply wrong, because I didn't know these people and you know so, and she saw the interaction. She saw the movements of the girl, like motioning to the weapon, and she saw her like like do one of those and yeah, so they saw dollar signs immediately. I, but I just don't think, obviously, since it this they happened upon me, I don't think that she had like really fleshed out the idea yet.
Speaker 3:Um, yeah, this definitely was not a planned event. You asked for a dime and this happened seriously, seriously. I mean, let's think about that. You're in a convenience store or a store of some sort, you need a dime, you ask someone for a dime and that unlocks this life changing experience that you've now endured. So, excuse me, so I, I want to know you make the stop, you pick up the girl. Where do you go next? What's the next stop?
Speaker 5:Um, okay, so I'll I'll try to speed up a little bit um no, no you go your own pace.
Speaker 5:Allison, I you're the one sharing your traumatic yeah yeah yeah like lost in the, because you know, in my head certain details stick out that aren't really important, but basically the next stop. So before we get there, she's angry that her dad's talking. She's trying to shut him up. She's getting more pissed every time I respond to him. So that was a hard dynamic because you know, he's supposedly has a weapon. She does. So I I don't want to cause a riff. So I was like really in a bind there. So she whispers to me and she says at the next stop, when he goes out, you fucking go. And I was like, okay, so I'm scared of this because I don't like conflict, and I was just like if this motherfucker has a gun, that was to say he's not gonna. You know that it's not gonna just start this crazy thing.
Speaker 3:So for fuck's sake, he's also kind of your friend, right? I mean, isn't he the only one being friendly to you in the car?
Speaker 5:He was. I think it was kind of like oh, he was maybe my chance of getting out of this, but at the same time, it was definitely a double-edged sword.
Speaker 1:You were probably on your way to being raped.
Speaker 5:Actually assaulted probably, probably is that he left, so yeah. So I think it ended up being a good thing. Uh, but he's, so he goes in there and we jet off. And then I'm looking at the time and I'm just like, oh, you know, it's time for it. You know, people are going to be looking for me, you know what time is it?
Speaker 5:golly and um, she's like one more, stop bitch. And like now, at this point, the energy changes completely. She's like we're gonna get you home. You know she wasn't talking about hurting me anymore and I was like something, this I'm gonna get hurt now, like I knew it, because it was just this complete shift and she wasn't talking and that her wife in the back, they were both on their phones texting and I'm like they're getting ready to do something, like they're it was very clear, because they were very present, you know it, up until then.
Speaker 5:And so she goes we're gonna get this, this shit, and then we'll take you home. And so they take me down this road in the middle, in these back roads. They're like rats in the city, like they know all the little cracks and crevices that police don't go to. It's not near main roads, like, but it's still in this like. So it was crazy, I knew it was the perfect spot for a murder.
Speaker 5:And she gets out and she apparently goes into this house. I didn't see her actually go into the house, she disappeared behind it. So she may or may not have gone in the house, but she's taking a minute and and so this wife is in the back. So I start asking her questions and I'm like, oh so so do you, do you have a family, do you have kids? And and she goes, yeah, I've got a couple of kids. And I was like you know I have kids, I don't have kids, but you know, again, I'm trying to like make myself human, human. And um, I was like you know I have kids and my family, you know they really relying on me right now, and and I said just, please, just tell me, am I going to make it home. Like just give it to me straight. Like am I making it home and she goes. She always gets what she wants. She said you saw what she did to me. She saw, like just listen to her, because she always gets what she wants. So I'm like okay, and so.
Speaker 3:I don't think I liked that answer, cause she always gets what she wants.
Speaker 5:So I'm like, okay, Um, and so I don't think I liked that answer. No, no.
Speaker 4:I did not, especially because I knew that what?
Speaker 5:she wanted was me dead. So I was like great sick. And then she comes back into the car and again the energy was palpable and she sits down. And was palpable, and she sits down and this, I know, is weird, because I may not be street smart, but I know that you don't smoke drugs right in front of your dealer's house. So she turned the car off, turned the lights off, we're going to smoke here. And so I'm like off, we're gonna smoke here. And so I'm like really like right here. And she goes yeah, bitch, why do you fucking care? And like getting mad at me, like I can't say anything to her without it, like a range fit yep, so I was just like all right, all right, and like turned off the car.
Speaker 5:This was weird because it was the only time that she wanted me to like turn the car off completely instead of just the lights, and um. So I knew it was coming in a second and I just remember it was time was stopped and she's going through her pockets pretending to find something like her drugs, and I knew something was coming, like something was coming because it was like someone buying time, you know, and you can sense that like she was.
Speaker 5:I don't know how to describe it. It was just this energy that I picked up on that she was trying to figure out what she was going to do and and wait for the right moment to strike, and. And so I asked her do you need me to turn the light on, or you can't find something? She goes shut up, bitch. And so at this point I know I have nothing to lose, because I'm thinking it's probably going to be a weapon of some sort or could be anything. So it's one of those push starts, and so I put my foot on the brake and I just go for it, turn it on for about a second, and then that's when she clocks me in the face and just starts beating.
Speaker 5:She said hold her down, hold her down, she's not walking tonight and uh, so so wifey has my hair back and I'm like this.
Speaker 5:And then so the first part of the meeting, she's sitting next to me still and just like over and over and over again, and I tried to like honk the horn. I was screaming, I was biting, I was titty twisting. Anything I could do, I was pulling hair like I, I couldn't, I was. This girl was holding me back, but it was awkward, I think, for everyone because it was you're in a car, um. But so, yeah, she's punching, she's like her brain, we're punching her. I sound so stupid, but basically she was like trying to make me brain dead or like kill me. And so she's saying she's not fucking walking, she's not fucking walking, she's not fucking walking, you better fucking hold her down.
Speaker 5:And this girl, I think, was kind of I don't think, I don't know, but I don't necessarily know if she thought that she was going to be committing a murder that night. So she was just like you're killing her, you're killing her, just like you're killing her, you're killing her. And um, at that point I and I in my head. The weirdest thing is I just kept thinking in my head I'm gonna make it home for dinner, I'm gonna make it home for dinner, I'm gonna make it home for dinner and um, and so she dragged the one of them, drags me out at this point my face is like already like starting to swell, and she rips me out of the car the wife, I believe.
Speaker 5:And yeah, it's starting to swell to the point I already couldn't see out of from the impact too, I couldn't see out of my left eye and, um, this one was just a slit, so it was really hard, I couldn't see anything. And then, um, so she just starts, one of them's holding me down I believe it's the wife and then the other one comes around they had started the car and she just starts again just punching my head. I, I have a theory that maybe they wanted it and either they didn't have weapons or maybe they wanted it to look like I got in a fight and, like you know, I was just on the streets and just a nobody and got mugged. You know, I don't know, I don't know. It's just speculation.
Speaker 2:I have no idea why, or make you forget what they look like and everything.
Speaker 5:Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's true too, and so, yeah, she even started at one point. She took my phone and she started beating me with that, so they were both doing that, and then.
Speaker 3:So they were trying to kill you. What's that they were trying to kill you? What's that they were trying to kill you?
Speaker 5:Yeah, no, that was the plan she. She can't walk, you know, so not like she can't walk.
Speaker 3:We're not going to let her. I think, I think this this is not going to walk You're not going to walk away from this.
Speaker 5:Is what they were saying man, you're not going to walk away from. This is what they were saying. Man, yeah, and I, I too, based off of the wife, girlfriend, whatever her reaction that I was gonna die. It was just as scary, and in every blow I'm waiting to be knocked out, you. And so I was just trying my best to not get hit, like just to not get knocked out, because at that point then I'm dead. And I mean I don't really know how you try to not get knocked out, but I mean that was a thought in my head.
Speaker 1:You have to. You're trying to hold onto consciousness, because after that, then you need your last piece of control.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hold on to consciousness, because after that, then you need your last piece of control. Yeah.
Speaker 5:What, and I'm so. I don't know how it's, I don't know how I didn't lose consciousness Based on the pictures I've seen, Allison, I don't know how either.
Speaker 3:I really don't.
Speaker 5:It really doesn't. And I was waiting for it, you know, and. And so the last, and I was waiting for it, you know, and and so the last I was close and the last part of it I was being held and there was an arm holding me and I just bit down as hard as I could, like my teeth hurt for days after how hard I bit and there was like a quick release and I just duck and run across the field and barefoot and then I heard them get away in the car. But I looked down. I had put the keys in my pants, in my underwear, which was wild, but they had already started it. So but it was kind of funny because they wouldn't be able to start it again If they stopped it.
Speaker 3:Good for them.
Speaker 5:Like you know and so, but. But that also was a thought in my head. So I'm like, looking at that and I didn't know. I didn't look back so I didn't know if I was like I assumed I was being chased. That's how fast I ran, like I adrenaline is a crazy drug I was just whipping down there like I was gone in a flash. I really don't know how I physically did any of this, but then at this point, so I'm across the street, I I believe they'd already taken off. You know they're fleeing the scene. Um, and the funny thing is my Crocs. I, in this whole thing, I had lost my Crocs and they had. They would have been on that floor the next day, me and my dad. He helped me, like we backtracked and found that street, in that house that I was in front of, like the exact spot, and my crocs were nowhere to be found and there was nothing on the floor you know, it's weird um, yeah.
Speaker 5:So so I start running and this was a scary.
Speaker 5:A scary part like that I have nightmares about, because and I think is a big part of trauma is like one, not being able to prevent something really awful from happening, like feeling powerless, and two, not being able to get access to help, and so I can't see. I have that little slit that I can see out and I look up and I see these church steeples and I know that that's the main road, so I just start heading that way and I make it to this like apartment that's across the street from the field, and I just start looking up and going to every door because I know there's cameras and so I I know there was no people around. So I'm looking at the cameras and like, cause I wanted to make a trail and so I scurried behind apartments and stuff like that. I did not want to be on the main sidewalk. I jumped a fence and then I got close to the main sidewalk and I I was, I was losing consciousness at this point, and so I ran down the sidewalk.
Speaker 5:I go there's a barber shop closing down for the day and so and I I know that I'm swollen I have no idea what I look like. You know, you saw the picture how I look. Keep that in mind with how people were reacting. I'm banging on this barber shop and the barber shop guy just looks at me and he goes no, no, you, wow um, so that should go to jail for that.
Speaker 5:So the pan is waiting and so no one on that street was letting me in every corner so everyone was locking their door and then I go out into the middle of the intersection hoping that maybe a cop is around in the middle of an intersection like the light and I'm waving my hands and everybody's just honking and going around me and it felt like that's like a scene out of a movie that's surreal.
Speaker 5:No one helped me, no one stopped, wow. And so I was just at this point again I'm losing. I knew I was losing consciousness, I was tripping and could barely walk and and the pain is setting in. So I, I, I stumble, I finally see. In the corner of my eye, I see the lights that look like a little bodega and I just start running for it and I run in and I collapse and my nose, my mouth, I'm just bleeding all over the floor. And they were not happy for what that did, for business. You know what?
Speaker 3:For fuck's sake, who cares what it does for business? Who cares about business? When you see somebody like that come in, I will tell you this If I own a company or I own a business and somebody comes in that looks like that picture that I've seen not only Actively bleeding and you're obviously in an emergent state, you need assistance I would tell you exactly what I would do. I would ask who's chasing you?
Speaker 5:Where are they now Am I still here, Yep, you're still here, can you?
Speaker 3:hear us still. Did somebody call you again? Let me bring her back, hold on.
Speaker 2:I was on my soapbox too. While we're waiting on her to come back.
Speaker 3:That's fucking crazy. What? What is the state?
Speaker 1:of this state where people will just that's what I'm saying, like maybe it's just because we are we're midwestern, we're midwestern that that's crazy to us, yep I'm so sorry, that's okay, I just that's all right, don't sweat it.
Speaker 5:I'm sorry, I have's okay.
Speaker 3:I just that's all right, don't sweat it.
Speaker 5:I'm sorry I have to do this on my phone. My iPad is just the front camera doesn't work and it's just fine you are just fine, but so yeah back to that.
Speaker 5:So, yeah, they, they let me in. I'm just on the floor like in and out, and um, I was so. So now the shock is setting in and I'm so paranoid to the point where I thought that he didn't call the car. I was like, no, give me the phone. And they were just like whatever. So they handed me the phone and I call and my uncle is a policeman and for whatever reason in my head I'm, I'm thinking so, I keep saying his name on the line and and I'm just like that's my uncle, please send help. You know, because at this point I'm not getting attention.
Speaker 5:This stuff happens so often. You guys like that's that's why you get these people that they don't, they don't want that like you know it's. It's sad, but it's true because you know if it clearly looked like somebody you know was trying to kill me, and so there's somebody out there that's, you know, actively following me, and they don't know that's sick what I've just been involved in, and so so, yeah, but I think, but I think and I don't mean to interrupt you, allison, but I think that's where decency comes in.
Speaker 3:I don't, I don't you see somebody in that state. You have a duty as another human being to help them. In my opinion. Yeah, you, you were at your at your lowest point, probably, and, yes, you avoided being killed, you avoided being raped, but you had the fuck beat out of you and you had to. I mean, you're, you can tell that you're upset now, reliving it.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, and it's the idea that anybody could just drive past or turn away or shut your door. Oh yeah, like again. Maybe just because we're midwestern folks like yeah that's that is it from indiana, right?
Speaker 5:yep, I've been in indiana for a couple years growing up.
Speaker 1:Oh, all right, that's north North, isn't it, yep?
Speaker 3:It's up by Chicago, yeah.
Speaker 5:It's kind of like a nothing town. There's not much there.
Speaker 3:You're right, but I would imagine you would take it now over. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5:Oh seriously, and I my goal has never been to stay in this. It's just unlivable. And it's just unlivable and that's the sad thing is because there's this juxtaposition of you can be in one street and just one street over is a totally different story. You know you're going to have like the upper class people and these high class restaurants and all the bougie coffee shops and all of that, but then the disparity between that and then you know you'll go literally a couple of blocks down and it's a totally different story like you're in a war zone and I've been in.
Speaker 5:I remember when I moved back to the city before, like the week before I did, I was visiting my friend here and just in her house and I I it was literally like two minutes after I got inside her house, through on the sidewalk somewhere and I get inside her house and then there's just gunshots.
Speaker 5:Someone sprang with AKs, all of the cars and into the window, and so the windows were broken and we were, you know, on the floor and I just remember thinking what has it always been like this, you know? And so it's just getting worse and worse, and that's that's the really sad part. And I think in these kinds of situations, I hear about it, but it's not. I would never have thought that would be me. And so that's why, with any of my friends and I have a lot of friends that live in the city I'm just like you, just never think it's going to be you until it is, and you know your life is so worthy of protecting, and I mean there's, but there's also this level of I don't know if you can fully prepare for something like that.
Speaker 5:I do think you can be safe and take as many precautions as possible and, like I said, listen to your gut for sure. But there's also the sense of like it's not something you think about happening really, and when you do, I think you think of yourself for more of a place of power.
Speaker 5:You're like oh, and I'm sure people will hear this and be like, well, I think you think of yourself for more of a place of power. You're like, oh, and I'm sure people will hear this and be like, well, I would have done this and I would have done that. I don't think I would have done different things. You know, you don't really know how you're going to react until you're in it, because your body just goes into this mode of like survival and and that's also another reason I'm like a little hesitant to.
Speaker 5:I think what, how I've taken this trauma after and the hope that I want to transmit is a lot more important than just the fact that I survived, because I think that's just kind of like a 50, 50 chance Maybe. If that like that's what kind of like a 50 50 chance maybe, if that like that's what we do as humans we survive, we try to survive at all costs, and you get in this mode that you're not like thinking like normal, it's a different part of your brain and so you know me surviving. I don't think it's like this merit of strength or endurance or or wit that I have that other people don't. I think it's just I managed to survive the situation and I'm very blessed for that, but I think it's what you do after that, that really you know it's. That's the hard part. Yeah, you have to survive the aftermath, it doesn't it?
Speaker 1:doesn't end. It doesn't end when the scenario ends. You still have to go through recovery. And then you know you're said, you're still dealing with nightmares, even though you're talking about it and you're able to talk through it, which I think is absolutely incredible, um, but there's that, and then there's all of these steps of healing way beyond the event itself.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, Go ahead Sorry.
Speaker 5:No, don't be sorry, I was just going to say on that I'm very intentional about talking about it. About talking about it, I I I think it's because of the trauma recovery that I've done and the fact that I know that talking about it I mean with safe people, you know, in an environment that's not going to traumatize you more obviously, but talking about it, art is how you articulate those wounds and therefore your brain starts to make sense and put it into a context that isn't, uh, the survival, because you have this event that is so impossible for your brain to integrate with the rest of your experiences. And so, by talking about it and articulating, putting language to the trauma, that is really the only way the brain begins to heal, because it starts to I don't make make more space for a bigger context.
Speaker 3:If I'm being honest, I'm surprised you remember the event.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too, but it's not. I really am because your brain.
Speaker 5:I didn't remember and I don't. I still, to this day I don't remember like the street names and anything like that. To this day I don't remember like the street names and anything like that. My dad took me back the next day to find the, the house that it was in front of, and it took us like hours. You did find it, the house, yeah, but I mean it didn't. None of them lived there, I think, and, like I said, I don't even think she went inside the house, but we did, you, you know, that's another thing. The police are so understaffed and so you're going to piss me off.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that was really hard, you know, like not, and but I will say I am blessed. Like I said, my uncle is a cop too and so one of the cops that showed up to the scene he knew my uncle and so it's just, you know, or I think that happened. It's just at least I had someone like my uncle to like walk me through the process of something that he's seen so many times, and obviously it was very jarring that it was his niece. But but I really did learn a lot about. I don't know the system, have they been apprehended? I didn't want to learn about it but here I am.
Speaker 5:Of course you don't want to.
Speaker 3:Yeah, who does?
Speaker 5:Have they been caught? I have like repeated this story. That's another thing. Is there's this, not like it's a detachment, or maybe it is a little bit of detachment and dissociation? But I think, um, I don't know, like right now I'm talking about it like an out-of-body experience another moment. It's that's, that's, that's another way of your body, protecting itself and your brain.
Speaker 3:You're telling the story from someone else's vantage point. You lived it, but it's like you're telling the story, like you're seeing it through someone else's eyes and you know. So that's how you're able to give so much detail, and I think that's your body again protecting itself. So let me ask you this Did they catch the people?
Speaker 5:again protecting itself. So let me ask you this Did they catch the people? So complicated. But so the next day, there we're calling cause they still have the car and we're calling did you find anything out? And they're like actually, right now there's a high speed chase with your car car, and so they put it on the police or we get the police radar on my uncle and he's translating everything that's happened. They had set up a perimeter, they had drones, they had dogs, the whole deal, and then the car ended up. They they crashed into an embankment and it just like smoke and I what they say is that they got away in the smoke, but as they were describing the two perps, they were those two girls I specifically remembered. So they got away as I was looking down that she had these colorful slides and I was like she wouldn't be able to run in those and they described her in full detail and she was barefoot.
Speaker 5:I was like that's right. I bet you anything. Those slides are in the car and so, um, the next day, or yeah, so the car was you know toast and then, but they got away. They probably had called a getaway car. This is where it gets interesting as well. Hopefully I'm able to say this I don't think there's a problem with it.
Speaker 5:But the next day we go to impound and they say we've printed it, the texts have gone through, the searches have gone through it. Just go and see what is yours, if anything. And they're like there's just a bunch of clothes in there now. And so we're like all right, we show up, the car looks like somebody lived in it for months. It's full of clothes. And then all of these stuff they had like a five below basket, so they went out boosting like stealing, stealing stuff. They robbed cvs and a five below, wow. So there was just mountains of cleaning products like random stuff, just too much. And I'm thinking they had my wallet, they had my phone, so I'm hoping I recover something of my own. Um, and also, by the way, they had said the evidence that they had collected from the car was a pill bottle, a flip phone, drugs, my Apple pencil, which was the only thing in the car that was mine.
Speaker 5:It's so random that they took the evidence and maybe a toothbrush or something else. So that's what they deemed vital for this investigation. Deemed vital for this investigation. And so we go and my dad pulls out this little pouch and he's like, is this yours? And I go no, he opens it up and there's two iPhones not mine and there's the wife you grow up her, her government ID, all of her bank cards, all of it Good.
Speaker 3:That's okay. Applause, because I hope they use that to catch that bitch.
Speaker 5:And there's her fucking slides in the front seat, just like I said, just like you said, they were right there. That bitch put her on in those, and so we see all this stuff. Among other disgusting things, there was like a sex toy, like the car was a biohazard at this point.
Speaker 1:After two days. How fucking long did they have it? I mean, they were probably Exactly.
Speaker 5:A fucking day. They lived in that car Cranked out and they never slept and did anything.
Speaker 1:They just were doing crazy shit.
Speaker 5:It was so past, empty, like it would have been dead. So they just, you know, they went. They had a drug fueled party on me and oh no, because I had like all of my my money in there and I don't make money right now, so it was just like I lost everything. And so, getting this pouch full of very vital evidence we were at that point we're like, well shit like wouldn't the cops have missed that?
Speaker 1:did the cops miss that? Then if you guys found it at impound, they didn't take it into evidence.
Speaker 5:Looked at it um, yeah, I'm sorry. Repeat that you lost. I sorry, that's okay.
Speaker 1:So the pouch that, the pouch that you found. You found it during when you went to look during impound. So does that mean the cops missed it?
Speaker 2:yeah and it was right there.
Speaker 5:It was right there and they this is at the point where they've told us we've done everything we need, you can take your car, and so at this point did they even get fingerprint? You know like we were very concerned, obviously, but we went and turned in the evidence and then days go by and my dad is trying to be a hero, he's about to, he's roaming the streets trying to do whatever he can to find you know, just looking around at people something really sweet side note that my dad did, because I'm obviously going out in public. I get so overstimulated right now and I'm working on it, I know therapy is going to help, but I can barely go outside, especially around, you know, here, because it's where it happened and I'm going to be hopefully moving soon, but it's very traumatizing. And so that corner shop, it's obviously it's a really bad memory. Obviously it's a really bad memory.
Speaker 3:But my vapes are there and my dad went and he bought out my favorite flavor, my creamsicle, that's a good day.
Speaker 5:He bought them out and he said you're never going there again oh and so is he.
Speaker 3:Is he wandering the streets now, vigilante? Is he going out trying to find them? Is that his goal?
Speaker 5:he was, we're looking around, and so a couple days go by, I'm staying with them, they're outside in the city, outside in the country, and so luckily, I was able to get some time with just to just and this is the point, like I said, where I was non-verbal for a couple of days. I couldn't. I had this stutter, like so when the police were interviewing me even I was like like it was weird, I've never had that before. So it was strange. And then, um, you know, a couple of days went by and I just went into this mode of like let's do this, let's do this, and I think during that, the car chase and them getting away, that was a important moment for me because I realized how much I was attaching my piece to the outcome of them getting caught and all of that, and I was like had to accept they may never get caught, justice might not look how I want it to look, and so I have to be okay with that, and so that was like a really hard mental shift that I had to make to get through this and I don't think I would be in this space where I'm able to talk about it would be in this space where I'm able to talk about it and and so I made a lot of mental shifts in that same week.
Speaker 5:I that narcissistic relationship. I was telling you a couple days. So when I told her about it, she goes well, this was your fault because you're so friendly to strangers. I bet you were cheating on them with me. I bet you were doing drugs and doing all that. So that was her response.
Speaker 3:And the day after, Now I fucking hate her too.
Speaker 5:I'm on the phone, she's like my first phone call because my phone's not there. And I reach out and she's just well, why did you? You know you're not supposed to cross this street, you know this and that. And in interrogating my dad just looks over like what and yeah. So then I get this email and I'm trying to include everything. She's like you're just telling me now you're so sketchy, all this stuff. I'm like girl, I just got out of the hospital.
Speaker 5:I was like I was being, I couldn't, I can't, so and I'm still emailing her all this stuff. And then she's just like you know what, forget it, she breaks up with me. But she would do this constantly and call them fake ups, because she would fake break up with me and then so make me go through this horrible feeling of being rejected and discarded and then only for days later to be like, oh, sorry, I want, want you again. And so I was so used to this up and down and getting that dopamine hit when, when things would get better. And through this I was like I became really protective of my peace, right.
Speaker 5:And so I was like I I realized how much she was stealing that, just as much as those thugs, my piece was under threat in that relationship, and so I was like I can't do this anymore and my mind just became. I just became protective over myself in a in a new way. And so when she, you know, asked to get back together, maybe tried it for a couple of days, and I and I tried to see she, you know, asked to get back together, maybe tried it for a couple days and and I tried to see, you know, I just told you know this really hurt me and I brought it up a couple of times and she's like why are you still on that? As if it's like ancient history, and I'm like oh you.
Speaker 5:I was in the worst spot of my life. I was in, I still am, I'm in misery, and this is how you're treating me. There was just no care and so so it made it very easy for me to walk away and I have not looked back, but there have been like crazy things being said, like if you touch anyone else I'll beat them up, and just like violent stuff. And I'm like are you like, after all of this has happened, why are you threatening more violence into my life? Like it isn't, isn't?
Speaker 3:the american, that I made the right choice. It isn't the, isn't the human psyche. I said american, but I should have said human like. But isn't it crazy how different people react to different circumstances. I'm in Indiana. Okay, I see your video. I immediately text you. I'm like, hey, this girl has been through it, she's making it positive, she's trying to recover. I got to talk to her, we've got to talk to her, but then the person that is arguably the closest to you is using it as fuel to you know, make accusations and try and steal that. Try and steal that from that moment and make it her own. You, you are trying to survive, survive. You may never encounter anything worse than this, allison. I hope you don't. I hope you don't. And and here's the crazy thing, you, you avoided what could have made it worse truly either being killed or being raped and I'm sure those were both on the menu for that night. I promise you they were.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, and you know the fact that you are here talking to us sharing your story and the way you think about it now is so incredible because, man, I don't know, I don't know if I could look at it the way you do?
Speaker 3:I'm looking at it. I'm looking at this from a father's perspective. I've got three little girls. They're three, four and ten, Going on 17.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I look at them and they're all beautiful little girls. You're a beautiful lady. How old are you, Allison?
Speaker 3:I'm about to be 30, 30 on the 17th, well, well happy birthday to you in two weeks I would have never had you in your 30s I thought my 20s for sure. So good for you. You're aging well um, but I'm looking at this from maybe I should from a father's perspective, Not that dark joke honey. Allison said she likes dark humor. I think Amanda's trying to get carjacked, so she can look good in her late 30s.
Speaker 1:No, I was going to talk about her diet and the things that she tries, that I might not Her pussy diet.
Speaker 3:Oh Christ.
Speaker 2:What'd she say your pussy diet. Oh, what'd she?
Speaker 4:say your pussy diet, oh right.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, I didn't even say it out loud, jamie, I know you made me blush.
Speaker 3:I didn't even know that's where you were going with it.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's what she was.
Speaker 3:When Amanda said diet.
Speaker 1:I was like what are you talking about? I was going to say, man, whatever she's eating must really be good for her complexion. I was going to say, man, whatever she's eating must really be good for her complexion. I was going to at least have some cooth with it.
Speaker 2:Oh, I didn't have any cooth. No, you never do no.
Speaker 3:But I'm looking at this as a father and I see my little girl come home with her eyes oh, honey, I can't, I would have to.
Speaker 1:I would have to lock you in the basement, you would. You would have to lock you in the basement, you would. You would have to tranquilize them, and I don't care how old I am. And I'm not saying Because, you'd be hysterical.
Speaker 3:I would do exactly what your dad did, except I would have a shotgun and a sidearm, he would be on your shoulder out knocking on doors. I would just be walking around and when I saw him, whatever happens next happens, and I'm horrible. I would call my two adult sons and I would make them accessories after the fact, and they would be right there with me and I uh I mean act like this didn't happen.
Speaker 3:Audrey came home crying because a boy said mean things to her, and you and brayden followed the bus I know well, I had to teach him a lesson, but it's, it's just incredible, the human spirit and overcoming what you've encountered. And if I, if I had to talk about one thing, that of your story that stands out aside from your spirit, allison, it's the fact that you live in upstate new york.
Speaker 3:You needed help in the absolute worst way and people were locking doors and and driving around you, yelling at you, and there's no way somebody could have looked at you and said, ah, she just, she's just acting crazy. You were beaten to a pulp.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were. So there's I mean, everyone kind of knows there's like a big scam that kind of goes around where especially a woman will come running up I need help, I need help, I need help. You open the door and then you know three or four more other people flood in and now you're in the one that needs help. But you were beaten bloody like there's.
Speaker 2:There's no question that you needed help and I hope one of you hear this podcast. All of know that you are fucking cowards. That's insane and I'm on.
Speaker 3:It's sad that that's out there, that people have to, but I think that's the risk you have to take being a human being. If somebody comes up and they're in need, you grab your gun, you do whatever you can to help them. Now let me ask you another question, allison. This is a social question. You are blonde-haired, blue eyes, right?
Speaker 5:I'm not sure we're not, but yeah, okay, alright.
Speaker 3:And what race were the others?
Speaker 5:They were so this. I don't even want to give my followers this because there's so many racist bullshit, but they were black.
Speaker 3:And I don't mean it to be, I don't mean it to give anyone fuel.
Speaker 4:You kind of mentioned the hatred part of it, though, and I think I think that's where.
Speaker 1:I think that's where that comes in, because maybe because of their culture and because of the rhetoric and the nonsense that is constantly being spewed, absolutely Especially currently and unfortunately in a political year, I think that ramps everything up.
Speaker 3:And made you more of a target. And made you more of a target Based on how you look.
Speaker 2:You know, you were, you were. I'm going to say it because, I mean, this is exactly the reason you were, this little white girl who asked for something.
Speaker 1:You had a nice car and that made you the object of a hatred, of a hate crime. I mean that's a crime of opportunity a crime of opportunity that felt like it had a hatred base to it yeah, especially with the daughter, because the daughter the daughter was angry at you, probably thought you were a skinny, pretty bitch and she was going to make you pay, right?
Speaker 3:how close am I?
Speaker 5:yeah, I mean, I definitely that's why I was talking about in the beginning.
Speaker 5:I think I represented everything she hated, but you know, and the scene, that there's a human on the other end of the crime, like I was saying I think. I think that's where it's hard, because what would have happened had she known my story too, because I, it you're asked, you cannot tell anything about a person from what you see on the outside, really, truly, and I don't know. You've known that, like I have had a lot of suffering in my life. I've had a lot of trauma. I've not had it made, um, certainly not in the, not in the way that she like a white privileged way, because you can't really compare, but I think it's easy to also, yeah, to look at, to look at me and look at that situation like how you put it is, yeah, it's hearing it, like that is. I haven't really thought about it like that, but yeah, I think I think it for sure fueled the rage and I think it also made her believe that I'm very ignorant to the streets, yep.
Speaker 3:So now I promised you 40 minutes to an hour. We're an hour and 22 minutes now. Okay, cause I'm a yapper, no, no, no, I'm so glad you did and the whole reason you're sharing this. There are two in my opinion. You tell me how close I am. One is it's helping you heal. Your ability to talk about it kind of takes that power away from someone else. That might fall into the same, because I'm telling you you did a shit ton of the right thing out there.
Speaker 3:Keeping yourself calm. I don't know how you don't scream.
Speaker 1:So I I consider myself quite the survivalist and I like to think about what I would do in that situation. I promise you, my mouth would have gotten me in a lot of trouble way before, like you were able. Like you keep saying that you know she felt like you weren't street smart. And I promise you, I guarantee that's not. That's not how.
Speaker 3:I see it, you clearly are.
Speaker 1:You were very street smart to understand how to keep extending your time to get to a good opportunity, because I promise you I would have been trying to fight back and begin with and not and it probably not making made it even out of the where you started.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Now, that's my non street smarts. I do have one question.
Speaker 3:And this isn't me like victim shaming or anything crazy, so don't don't come after me. Tick, tock and everybody else listening. I'm curious how this is going to go. Well, it's not bad guys, but when you, when you are in the car and big mama gets out and goes inside and does whatever and you've just got little wifey out there, no color.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I'm not hammer the gas and drive away with just her. Why? Why not rush and take your chances with one-on-one and not quite as aggressive? What do you think kept you from doing that? And I want to be sure that you understand, I'm not blaming you or saying well, here's what you should have done. Oh, I don't feel that at all. I'm just your thoughts in the moment.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and that would have been the perfect opportunity. That's definitely something I look back on like, but I wouldn't have done it because my brain at that point was so trained you know I was in this mode of like a peace to survive and, like I was talking about earlier, the way that I handled this and the way that anybody would handle it would probably be different, would look different with each person was from my personal trauma responses and learning that if I do what I'm told, I'll survive, and that's pretty fucked up.
Speaker 5:but like no, it's gotten you to this point and it got you through that situation yeah, and so I think that I it, because there there were a few opportunities, you know, probably, and my brain just didn't go there, and also something that, again slipping back into my old trauma with with my abuser, there were moments I was so brainwashed and delusional that's illusion, that makes it sound like it's something on me.
Speaker 5:I was conditioned to believe that, to believe that my abuser was basically all powerful and all know like I. There was no world where I could get away from him. And you know, looking back, I'm like, you know, when the veil is lifted and you're out of it makes no sense. There's no way to explain it, but it is like this person is basically a godlike, like they have complete control over your autonomy, and so the nature of ptsd right, I'm slipping into a flashback, so I'm operating as allison that was in that trauma, and so allison within that trauma is going to be. That's how she knows how to survive and so to appease, to make the next move that they're going to do, and then to also have in mind in my mind she has a lot more power than she actually does.
Speaker 3:You are and just quick observation on my part, and I'm sure the others grab this You're exactly right about how you handle things because when you, when you find your power, allison, you go third person. You know, you just said it just now. You said to find my. You know, when I do this, allison did this, she operated this way. That is your superpower and your ability and, my God, you are so articulate and you are you. You have an incredible way of explaining circumstances and even though you are fidgety and you're trying to search your words, you're doing it in such a way that you're not your words, you're doing it in such a way that you're not it's. It's not like distracting, it's not you, it's just you, and it's incredible the way you're. You're doing it and getting your message out and I can't, I can't thank you enough for coming on the show for being able to share your story with us and telling us I do have one question why in the fuck do you still live?
Speaker 3:in New.
Speaker 2:York, just out of curiosity we got room Allison.
Speaker 3:You can come to Ruchaville Indiana not my end goal.
Speaker 5:My dream is to. I want to move back to the coast. I want to move to Oregon, preferably one day, but it's just, my parents are out here. I don't have like money really to to move and I've had to take a launch. You know, I'm in affordable housing right now, so I I'm just gonna figure it out. I'm I'm trying to become a full-time artist again.
Speaker 5:I was at one point and what kind of art this has also like kind of thrown a wrench in you know, getting it. It's just gonna be hard, it's just gonna take time. I'm just gonna have to see. But it's really hard right now and it's, I think, frustrating me that that and I know, I know I need to be easy on myself, but even you know the program that I'm in I came back a week later and I was just like I'm not letting this, I'm not letting myself be the victim. And good for you, I'm a victim, but you know I I'm who I am. On the other side of it, I'm not who I was, and that's kind of what I was talking about.
Speaker 5:Like me, surviving was was a set of automatic reactions and just like a survival mode. I think the what I want to be known for and seen as as a person out that in the aftermath of that, and so I've specifically just tried to, um, not cope the way that I used to cope and to, like I said, settle with outcomes and realize that I do not have any control and so worrying, being in fear is it's useless. But also I have a body and a soul worth protecting and so I don't have to do anything that I'm uncomfortable with. I don't have to engage if I feel anything, even the slightest gut reaction. I do want to tell women that, because I think we're we're very conditioned to be polite when we don't have to be, and you know, and and I, I kind of I will get pulled into, obviously not situations like that, but I'll get pulled in a situation where I'm like I'm very, I feel uncomfortable, I feel violated, but I feel like I don't have a right, not like I have an obligation, because I never have an obligation. If you feel uncomfortable, leave period, and also you know that this, it had the opposite effect that I thought it would, and I do feel fearless, you know it. So I'm trying to focus on the blessings.
Speaker 5:Along with it, there's so many ugly moments, like I don't want to paint it, as I've just been, you know, like all love and light and like handling it so great, like there's a lot of ugly moments, there's more to come and I can't get on bed, and then there's days like this where I'm just having, you know, and how I've been able to heal has been the difference this time, in this trauma, is that I'm leaning on people and I'm talking about it. That first week, you know, with my ex, she didn't want me talking about, she didn't want any support for me, so that, along with me, just feeling like I have to carry this burden alone For multiple reasons, I thought this is mine and that's how I've always operated. I've always been a suffering, silenced kind of gal. And so what initiated me, even putting on TikTok, is on my Instagram.
Speaker 5:I posted the story like a week and a half after it happened and I said and it was to like my girlies in in the city and and just saying, you know like, stay safe, you never know and the amount of people from my community that reached out to me. I that I'm telling you I would not be here, I would not be able to have a podcast if I didn't have that. And so I realized there are so many people that are willing to be in my corner and if it took something like this to realize that. And then now you know, I made that progress video and actually posted it accidentally on TikTok. I was like maybe planning on posting at one point but I so accidentally posted and I went to edit something else and then I like looked back and I was like holy shit, it posted and then it had like I think I had like eight thousand views and that was more than I've ever gotten on TikTok.
Speaker 3:So I was like yeah, you're sitting at like 900.
Speaker 5:I had to put a caption on it, so everyone was like what happened, and so I like made an explaining video. But, um, even through that, you know, like on instagram, I think it's like 1.1 million and and now it's like I can know and that's nothing I ever expected and and it's just a beautiful thing, because I mean, again, I don't want to be known for I don't want to sensationalize my trauma and be like this shock bait or like anything like that. I think it would be cool if I could cultivate a space of vulnerability and and the highest vibration of authenticity and realness, so that other people can do that too, cause I think that's the most frank thing and I think about the people that have allowed me to do that in my life and how saving that's been.
Speaker 3:So, you've got the platform to do it on TikTok for sure.
Speaker 2:So I do want to ask do you have Venmo? I do for them to do it, yeah, tick tock for sure. So I do want to ask do you have venmo? I do? Okay, so not that we're going to be any help to you, but maybe we could be right. That would be. Yeah, I feel like you can repeat plus money therapy does cost money do you have a
Speaker 5:gofundme set up my brother's trying to make me one. I see like even with that, it's hard for me to like accept stuff. I'm learning too, though, so yeah I won't say no well tell us your venmo therapy money tell us, your name as my handle. It's shaken blues, so s-h-a-k-i-n blues b-l-u-I-N blues, b-l-u-e-s correct. B-shaken blues, so shaken, and then B-L-U-E-S. Yeah, I guess we should Good.
Speaker 3:Okay, so we can find we can Venmo you some money. We can see your videos on TikTok and, if I can give you some advice, keep talking on TikTok.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Keep doing that, because who cares you put it? Keep talking on TikTok. Yeah, keep doing that, because who cares who? You put it out there. You have a story. I really feel like you should just write a book.
Speaker 3:You should tell a little bit more of your story. As you go, allison to you know to create chronologically how things are and your following will support you and you will support you and you're going to have dickheads that say the things they say and there's nothing we can do about that, right? You know you? That's exactly right. Your soul is what it is and you just keep marching to your own beat and you're going to be just fine, Get yourself back to the East Coast.
Speaker 5:West Coast, West Coast yes, Also, by the way, to put a little wrapper on the story, a little bow on the present. But things are looking really good with the investigation and I found out very good news today, so I don't want to jump the gun but I do want to say you did tell me that you spoke with my pages asking like did they catch them?
Speaker 5:and all this stuff. I can just say like things are looking really good with that. So Can you do me a favor? The moment that I started trusting and not being dependent on a certain outcome, so I just surrendered and see what happens.
Speaker 3:And now it works. Will you make me a deal? Will you make us a deal? Everybody here in the, every Joke, has a Little Truth studio. Yes, when you get news, will you text me and let me know?
Speaker 5:I would love to do that, I promise.
Speaker 3:Thank you, because we are going to follow you very closely and we're going to put your link up for your Venmo. We're going to help tell your story and we're not going to let anybody else own your story. You, you, you are an incredible being. You're a beautiful soul.
Speaker 2:And, man, I love your, I love everything about you, your energy, your, yeah, yeah, everything Ams. You have anything to say before we let her go?
Speaker 3:Well, your yeah, everything Ams. You have anything to say before we let her?
Speaker 1:go Well. I'm super sorry I had to skip out on you. I got bamboozled by 10-year-olds.
Speaker 2:Oh, hardcore bamboozle.
Speaker 1:Wait, nobody else knows the rest of it. There's more, so that'll be fun, but your story is incredible and I'm so glad that you are the person that you are, because that's what got you through it. And just keep moving on, because I think that's how. That's incredible strength. You did everything right.
Speaker 3:You're alive, you did it right, so don't don't let anybody tell you you didn't so strong. All right, so you can find her on tiktok instagram. Is that right? And is? Are those venmo? That's right. We'll put all of that out in the show notes. So please go and find allison and uh, listen to her story, uh, in her words, on tiktok, uh, and share this episode so that people kind of get an idea of what she's been through.
Speaker 2:And open your fucking doors. People, Jesus help.
Speaker 3:No kidding. Yeah, all right. This has been on the line with us this week. An incredible story, alison, thank you so much for sharing your story Pleasure.
Speaker 5:Thank you guys so much. I'm really glad I met you.
Speaker 4:All operators are busy at this time. Please hold.
Speaker 1:This is not a drill.
Speaker 4:And now back to your regularly scheduled program.
Speaker 3:All right and we're back. That was fast. That was fast Felt like just seconds ago, just seconds ago. So everything we said it was going to be Right and more. I mean just go watch her story. If you're on YouTube, you can see the TikTok, the video that we. I played that in the beginning for you to kind of get an idea. But her strength, her light and airy demeanor probably helped her in some way.
Speaker 1:Her ability to see the good and the positive. She always could see the light at the end of the tunnel. That's what it felt like.
Speaker 3:Which is amazing. Do not forget, if you have an extra $5, $10, $100, $500,. Why don't you?
Speaker 2:drop it her way on that video A dollar Jesus. If everybody sent her a dollar, if every one of our listeners sent her a dollar, she'd have like $100. She'd have almost $120 probably.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but here's the thing, that's why everybody should send $2. Send her $2.
Speaker 1:You didn't like my joke. What was your joke? I said, they could just send her $0.10.
Speaker 3:I didn't hear that joke. I hope she never asks anyone for change again or never has to. I don't think she will. She does live in assist or like government housing. I think there in New York she said it's not great.
Speaker 1:And not a great area as well. But it sounds like most of New York is not great. That was one of the things that was so mind blowing. Blowing to me is I mean, we're pretty sheltered here, but to have the idea that you live in a place where people see that happening. She even said her own friend saw that and said, hey, those people don't know her. Yeah, there's something, and it was still normal enough for her friend to not call the police.
Speaker 4:Yeah, normal enough for her friend to not call the police. Yeah, and that's not anything against her friend.
Speaker 1:That's not anything against her friend. That's just the society and the way that they live there.
Speaker 2:And we don't realize that we don't, and that's insane to me.
Speaker 3:Boy, don't we?
Speaker 1:I mean our neighbors, if they see something funny at our house, are calling you.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh, we get called hey going on vacation. Watch the house, all right, gotcha.
Speaker 4:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 3:Hey, you know what time it is now.
Speaker 1:I'm to save some people's relationships.
Speaker 3:Allison saved herself. You guys are going to Now let's be honest ruin some relationships, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's the most wonderful time Of this goddamn podcast Yee-haw.
Speaker 2:Did you really think this was going to be a feel-good segment?
Speaker 1:Are you insane? Like me Welcome to Relationship Advice with Ams and Jams I see red red oh red. Well, you asked for our advice. We just hope you're ready for brutal honesty.
Speaker 3:And brutal it shall be. Dear Ams and Jams, my husband and I have been married for six years. We have two kids and I'm currently pregnant. Oh damn, sorry. Before getting pregnant, our marriage was already on the rocks due to his infidelity and financial situation. I mean, in the last year I have been the primary breadwinner. I have a good job and make a decent amount, but I am not able to cover all of our expenses unless we downsize which he doesn't agree with. He does door dash, which does not bring in a lot of money, and he spends a lot of time outside door dashing.
Speaker 2:I bet he's door dashing, door dashing Besides being the primary breadwinner.
Speaker 3:I am the main person taking care of the kids at the home. Last month he asked for $2,100 to pay for an important document. Go get fucked An important.
Speaker 2:Is it?
Speaker 3:made of fucking gold, I told him that we still had the rent to pay and that he could wait until my next payday to pay for this document. At the end, I told him to just let me know. Whichever his decision was. He decided not to pay the rent, which I understood that he would pay for the document. I was OK with that. Today I asked him what the status of the document was and he said that he didn't pay. I was confused. I asked why, and he replied saying that he had to pay the rent and some other expenses.
Speaker 3:The odd part is that last month, when I got my second paycheck, we paid rent. Seems like something's off there. That math isn't mathing.
Speaker 3:I was trying to understand what exactly he did with the money, but he started trying to manipulate the situation and didn't give a straight answer. At that moment I started getting irritated and losing my patience. I called him a liar and told him that he never does what he says he will do. If we agreed on something, he should have stuck with that, or at least let me know if he changed his mind. But he didn't understand that. I'm so mad because he has been working so hard. I'm going to check that. I'm so mad because I have been working so hard while pregnant, since he has not even been able to cover half our expenses, and for him to call me names because I'm upset with what he did. I'm hurt and lost. Before I wanted to wait until I have the baby to talk to him about divorce, but after this I don't really know what to do. Maybe I know, but I would like to hear y'all's opinion on the situation.
Speaker 1:You know. You know, leave, that is something you are. I mean, I know Jams is awful hot to pull that trigger and say GTFO. But honey you are raising your kids by yourself, anyway, and taking care of a man child.
Speaker 2:And losing all your fucking money.
Speaker 1:And he's taking your fucking money. No, kick him to the curb, you can do it by yourself.
Speaker 4:He's been married for six years.
Speaker 1:He obviously doesn't respect her, or care about her at all.
Speaker 2:Well, we don't know he's door dashing.
Speaker 3:He's door, smashing Door dashing that dick. Look how proud she was of that. Did you see that? Was that a euphemism.
Speaker 1:Nope.
Speaker 2:Yeah, leave that motherfucker.
Speaker 1:He needs a dose of reality because, guess what? You'll probably get more money from him when he has to pay child support, and DoorDash isn't going to cut it, so maybe he can go get a real job.
Speaker 2:I mean, for fuck's sakes, let him be someone else's problem.
Speaker 3:Boy.
Speaker 1:This dude is a.
Speaker 3:Man-haters club. Normally I can see the bright side?
Speaker 1:there's no bright side in this. This dude is a man heater haters club. Normally I can see the bright side. There's no bright side in this. That dude is a hot garbage can.
Speaker 3:Yep, dear Ams and Jams. So I have been married with my wife for eight years and have three small children. Today after dinner I got a call from a co-worker. She's a female in her 30s. Completely unexpectedly. A call from a co-worker. She's a female in her 30s. Completely unexpectedly, I picked it up and she was telling me she wanted to talk to me about whether she should quit the job. I told her that I was busy and we could talk next thursday, as we were, there will be a gathering at work. My wife was in the same room and heard this conversation. When she asked who it was, I explained it was a colleague from work asking for advice. No, I simply forgot to disclose. It was a woman. Bullshit. I said it was a colleague and used the male pronoun in our native language. She saw the caller and well, now she thinks something is going on between me and my colleague.
Speaker 2:I can say colleague again, I swear.
Speaker 3:Of course, when she pointed that out, I was floored. It does sound really bad and I cannot take it back. I also don't understand why suddenly this colleague called me at night on my phone. We never had this sort of relationship and I picked it up because I thought something was urgent at work. Now my wife thinks I am cheating on her and I honestly don't know what to do. She doesn't believe it was a mistake I made. I cannot blame her for feeling like this, but the truth is I never cheated and never wanted to cheat. I really love my wife, ams and jams. Any advice will be highly appreciated.
Speaker 1:Look, dude, I got to say it sounds like you wrote in and made this story up so that you could further show it to your wife and convince her that you're not cheating, while simultaneously cheating.
Speaker 1:Damn. Yeah, ding, ding, motherfucking ding. If you are innocent in this dude, you got rocked. Yeah, Because there's no way someone just calls you out of the blue with advice like that. Like you have to have had some sort of rapport with her to feel comfortable doing that. Yeah, maybe you are completely oblivious. Points again. Points for telling her hey, no, I'm busy, I'm with my family, this is not important, but did you only do that because your wife was in the room? Like it is.
Speaker 3:I don't think you can do that. I don't think that's fair.
Speaker 1:I think it sounds super sketchy and I understand your wife's perspective.
Speaker 2:But I'm going to tell you right now I would not be calling somebody at work.
Speaker 1:Like again, but if, if he did like, he shouldn't pay the price for if this person is doing that with no other relationship, nothing else going on but time out that with no other relationship, with nothing else going on but time out there was the part where he said it was a colleague and he used a male pronoun.
Speaker 2:Yeah right, my colleague, he again, we don't know the way.
Speaker 1:Like he said, in our native language is he pronoun used colleague, regular colleague, law, I'm sure it's not colleague, colleague, colleague who's following your nonsense. So I mean maybe using the nail now male. I'm sure it's not, colleague. I was following your nonsense, so I mean maybe using the male. I'm sorry, no he said he him or something like that. No, in a different language. Well, it's still the same. Will you let me finish?
Speaker 3:I think I do let you finish God.
Speaker 1:In Spanish it is regular to use the male pronoun, unless you are trying to as a general pronoun, like I can't think of a Spanish word honey Pedro. No, that's a name, no.
Speaker 2:No, I meant like For fuck's sake, man and woman, what are they called? Like Vamonos?
Speaker 3:Definitely not. Pedro Vamonos is go. No, what's man and woman? The most part is actually the called like vomino. Definitely not.
Speaker 1:Vamonos is go. No, but it's no. The the most part is actually the pronoun version.
Speaker 3:That's just it in but I think O is male.
Speaker 1:A is female, but O is also general no, not true again.
Speaker 1:We don't know any other languages. I mean, look at us fucking speak about something we ain't got no knowledge of. Sir, you just need to try and rebuild trust with your wife and say, hey, I really have done nothing wrong. If you've done nothing wrong, I'm not saying you have or haven't, but if you've done nothing wrong, lay all the cards on the table, be like I have nothing to hide from you and just work on building that trust and making her a part of everything so she feels more comfortable.
Speaker 2:I agree, all right If you want to stay with her Running that relationship.
Speaker 3:Dear Ams and Jams, Hello all. Please go easy. I know I'm a piece of crap person that deserves to get hit by a car and die.
Speaker 1:Well, look, dude, if you already said it, why do you need our help?
Speaker 3:Why, he took all the fun out of our sales s-a-l-e-s the wind out of our sails yeah, all the fun out of our sails. Here's my backstory. I've been involved in an affair with a married man for almost a year. Oh shit, it's a girl, not a dude. Who knew it's. Serious as it can be, I love yous and dates every now and then and I'm not allowed to see other people.
Speaker 3:The guilt, shame and exhaustion is killing me. It sucks. We both talked about it and I made it clear that we were going to break up eventually, because I can't keep doing this. It's morally wrong. Karma is going to get me. I want to be monogamous and I am going to start therapy next week because I know my self-worth is very low and I need help. I have in mind a date that I want this to end, which is in a month. It's hard to let it go because we built a bond, so I'm preparing myself to let go Ams and jams. If you were the guy, would you? Would you want to know the exact date ahead of time, or would you rather just know right then and there? So you're not thinking about it? Please don't lecture me or insult me. I'm not proud of it and never going to do it again. It's very out of character for me. Just put yourself in the situation and pretend for a minute okay, let me help you.
Speaker 2:Been there, done that. I don't throw stones in those glass houses. I do know how hard it is when you feel like there's this love and it's unmet.
Speaker 3:And you got all this. Is that what you're talking about? No, no, no, no, you did.
Speaker 2:How could you turn this away, like you?
Speaker 3:feel like you feel this. Can you shut the fuck up, james?
Speaker 1:is having a moment right now. I'm not even interrupting her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you feel like you're never going to get something like this again, but I promise you will. And don't give him the date. And OK, so I've got a couple of things. Don't give him the date because one you're trying to give him an ultimatum deep down saying leave your wife by this time or we're over. Even though that's not what you're.
Speaker 1:I know that's what you're trying to do subconsciously you are yeah, that's how you're if you give him the date secondly, don't be the second choice.
Speaker 2:Leave now. Don't don't wait for a certain date. You need to leave now if he truly loves you and you're truly meant to be together, and you walk away and he leaves his wife and he comes back to you. You can think about it, I wouldn't. But you can think about it, I wouldn't, but that's another day. That's another day. So walk away now, let him, if they come, but set them free if they come back. It's meant to be, you know like.
Speaker 3:Wasn't that a song or something?
Speaker 2:I don't know, but I'm just telling you don't, because you will be the next victim in this cheat another conversation, but I I look at this.
Speaker 1:I would like to mark the date jams and I complete, completely agree, like on, on every piece of advice given. Don't know, and my biggest point was don't set a date. Rip the band-aid off. You are you are trying to. You are trying to giving yourself a weird deadline yeah, and it's, it's an excuse. And guess what? When the date comes, this isn't the right time.
Speaker 3:Oh, he had a bad day at work and you're just making it harder. You're going to go over and you're going to answer your door and the wife is going to punch you in the face.
Speaker 2:She didn't punch me in the fucking face. Yes, she did. No, she didn't. Yes, she did no. Yes, she did. No, she didn't. Yes, she did no. You just weren't looking. I turned around and she slapped. She didn't even use a closed fist. I don't feel like she used a closed fist, because if she did, she punches like a bitch, but it wasn't even a sound effect you have for that boy? I don't have one.
Speaker 2:I had to think about which one I wanted to use, but I did not fight back because I knew I was in the wrong Right. So you're noble.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean whatever Like Romans.
Speaker 2:But you don't need to set a date because you know that date is going to come and go and you're still going to be there. So you.
Speaker 1:You've got to. Just, I promise, do it for yourself. Love yourself enough to yeah and your therapist next week will tell you the same thing there. Love yourself enough to yeah and your therapist next week will tell you the same thing.
Speaker 3:There's no reason to wait. I'll tell you this. This whole week's podcast is about knowing your worth. Yeah, it really is. And jams, each one of those. I think we're about kind of knowing your worth and Alison was about kind of knowing her worth. You know what I mean? Yeah, and having to survive and fighting through it and yeah so good luck it is now it's time to talk about one thing I love jams.
Speaker 2:Give us one thing you love and one thing you hate um, I love as much as I hate it, so kind of both. Watching audrey become a little bit more grown, so wanting to stay at a football game and hang out with her friends and run around and be dumb. I remember those days.
Speaker 3:You're taking it all home with you.
Speaker 2:No, waiting for the football night to come, so you could you know. I mean, so I just I love that, but I also hate it because I hate her getting so big.
Speaker 3:It won't be long now.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 3:Amanda love and hate.
Speaker 1:Does she owe her? Love and hate was the same thing, yeah she said it, they were the same thing. I have two loves. I love that we have the house where there's just a gaggle of girls that show up and now they're staying the night and we get to figure all that out.
Speaker 2:I'll be here before the game to get the girls We'll have to talk about that.
Speaker 1:Anyways, and I love Brayden. Happy birthday, you stupid idiot. Even though you're being a jerk right now Not really, but you know that's what we say, kinda, and I hate. What do I hate?
Speaker 3:Little tiny duck.
Speaker 1:I hate the fact that in my little tiny fucking car I have seats that I can't put dividers between, and those goddamn girls fight the entire way to and from school, the entire way. It makes me want to drive into the nearest semi or off the nearest like bridge thing, Wherever it is hard and fast, I want to drive there because she's. Do you know how many times this week I heard she's looking at me. Her foot is on my car seat.
Speaker 3:You know what I love. I love is on my car seat. You know what I love. I can't wait. I love progress in whatever form. Like you, you have progress and it's fun to see the change. You have progress at your job. You love to see the change, or I love to see you progressing.
Speaker 1:He loves to see you change, not be murderously angry.
Speaker 3:Right, I do. I love all of that and I think it is often undervalued how important progression can be.
Speaker 1:I think it gets lost in the shuffle. Absolutely does.
Speaker 2:Oh, I have a different hate. You know what I hate. What I hate when you help other people out constantly with shit.
Speaker 3:But they don't give a shit.
Speaker 2:But they don't return the favors, they don't.
Speaker 3:Because they're shitty human beings. Boomin, hey, head on over to ThankGodCancerSavedOurDivorcecom. There's more about us over there. Hey, tell your friend about us. You can see us on YouTube. Hey, didn't anyone tell you Fucking Chica lives.
Speaker 4:Y'all, crazy bitch R-D-I-V-O-R-C, you gotta fight Aye.
Speaker 3:Well, we're finally updating this part of the outro. Find us at ThankGodCancerSavedOurDivorcecom. Where else can they find us, Jamie?
Speaker 2:You can search on Facebook for Thank God, cancer Saved Our Divorce. You can find us on Twitter, instagram and TikTok. If you at TGC SOD, what's that stand for? Thank God, cancer Saved Our Divorce TGC.
Speaker 3:SOD, correct, that's weird. That actually kind of lines up it does. We'll take it, thanks.