My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and ME!
Imagine a groundbreaking podcast where your current wife and your ex-wife share a mic. In this captivating podcast, Denny takes center stage as he navigates conversations with Jamie, his ex-wife, and Amanda, his present wife, using nothing but a microphone to untangle the complexities of their intertwined lives. Together, they explore the challenges and triumphs of parenting, tackling sensitive subjects such as divorce, co-parenting, and the emotional journey of overcoming cancer while cheering on their shared daughter, Audrey. Throughout the episodes, our trio courageously confronts the realities of their relationships, discussing adoption, the dynamics of blended families, and the sometimes turbulent waters of step-parenting. This podcast invites listeners into an authentic dialogue about life and family, emphasizing the theme of "parenting without excuses." With humor, honesty, and heartfelt insight, Denny, Jamie, and Amanda offer a refreshing perspective on what it truly means to support one another as co-parents and navigate the complexities of modern family life.
My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and ME!
Christmas "Would You Rather"
Ever wonder what happens when you mix a husband, wife, and ex-wife into a weekly podcast? Get ready for a whirlwind of laughter and unexpected tales as Denny, Amanda, and Jamie navigate the colorful chaos of their unique family dynamic. From a DoorDash disaster to hilarious anecdotes about their son, Braxton, there's never a dull moment. With a few technical hiccups and an unexpected shout-out to Elon Musk, this episode promises to keep you entertained with its quirky blend of humor and real-life stories.
Fantasy football fans, this one's for you! Our spirited update on the TGCSOD Family Fantasy Football League will have you in stitches, with playful debates over Josh Allen's looks and hilarious punishments for those languishing at the bottom of the league. Feel the camaraderie as we joke about the icy challenges of the wheel of punishment and laugh through friendly insults while cheering on surprise victories and enduring unexpected losses. It's all about the laughs, competition, and friendship as we share our fantasy football adventures.
With the holiday season just around the corner, we're tackling gift-giving dilemmas with our signature humor. From reminiscing about the ease of asking for cash as a kid to debating the merits of Secret Santa versus White Elephant Gift Exchanges, we cover all angles. Join us as we explore quirky holiday traditions, engage in amusing "Would You Rather" scenarios, and even share a few personal stories to keep things lively. Whether it's the drama of toothbrush misuse or festive debates over ugly sweaters, this episode is brimming with laughter and the warm spirit of the season.
I'm Amanda, the wife, and I'm Jams the ex-wife and I'm Brayden, just the future.
Speaker 3:Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Denny Broins. I'm the only man dumb enough to get his wife and ex-wife in a studio to do a podcast. And here it is my wife, my ex-wife and me.
Speaker 4:That peace and happiness might be found there. You gave me hope, and now, now we have to say goodbye. Ouch, if there's any bitches in this world then there's something. I gotta say Say for all the fools who fell for the first girl who comes their way. Way I've been down that road and now I'm back Sitting on square one, one Trying to pick myself up.
Speaker 3:Where I started from. My Wife, my Ex-Wife and Me starts now. Starts right now. Welcome to this week's edition of my Wife, my Ex-Wife and Me starts now. Starts right now. Welcome to this week's edition of my Wife, my Ex-Wife and Me. We're coming in a little hot. We've had some Hot and spicy. We've had some audio fixes to do tonight. That's why it's a little late If you're joining us on TikTok or not on TikTok, on Twitch or Facebook.
Speaker 5:Why is that the one that you start with I?
Speaker 3:always say it I don't know.
Speaker 5:Why is that one the one you start with?
Speaker 3:Elon invited us to be on X or formerly known as Twitter.
Speaker 2:Well, Elon invited like formally.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, sent me a text, said yo you think you can bring a podcast over here.
Speaker 2:Hello Denster 18.
Speaker 3:I've been monitoring you. It's Sneeorb.
Speaker 2:You know what Sneeorb is? It's our last name backwards, but he probably knows it is.
Speaker 3:What did you think it was? I don't know. Can't wait to hear this.
Speaker 1:No, I knew it was a name. I just forgot it was your last name, I don't know.
Speaker 3:Whose name did you think it was, and do you mind talking into the mic tonight? My, I don't know. For some reason I was thinking it was your first name backwards, but that wouldn't work. You know, I've really been. My first name would be Synod or Send oh my. God S-I-N-E-D.
Speaker 5:You said Dennis, but I was trying to think of Denny Send, send, yenid, that's you. Yenid. It was Denny.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:Yenid, it was Denny. Oh, so one day I got a door dash to my job. Can't wait and they come in.
Speaker 3:Please speak slower and don't leave anything out, Okay.
Speaker 1:And he comes in and he looks at me and he goes Jaime, and I said um Jamie.
Speaker 4:Yeah, thanks, I'll take it, Jaime you should have refused the order.
Speaker 1:Which one of y'all are, jaime I, jamie, yeah, thanks.
Speaker 3:I'll take it, jaime, you should have refused the order. I look Hispanic to you Fucking, jaime. I cleaned that up for this podcast.
Speaker 2:That was hilarious. I'm actually Jamie. Hi, that's mine.
Speaker 3:Thank you, did we sound okay on the podcast today. Sure, we did the. That's fine, thank you.
Speaker 5:Did we sound okay on the podcast today? Sure, we did Good. The intro sounded fine. I can't listen to the rest because then you'd yell at me. Why is our stuff making noise? You know what? Hey?
Speaker 3:let's do some introductions and upset some people. Let's go over. James, you want to be first today? Why not? All right, let's introduce my ex-wife, jamie. You ruined everything, you stupid bitch, you ruined everything.
Speaker 2:You stupid, stupid bitch, you're just a lying little bitch who ruins things and wants the world to burn Bitch.
Speaker 3:You're a stupid bitch and lose some weight. Say hello Jams, Hello. How was your week last week?
Speaker 1:It was fine, not great, not bad, not you know, same shit Different day.
Speaker 3:There's a lot of commotion in the EverJoke has a Little Truth studio right now.
Speaker 1:Don't worry about it, and just podcast.
Speaker 3:I am podcasting, but you aren't finishing your sentences, because you're looking over there, whatever it is you're doing you want to tell the class what you're doing.
Speaker 1:No, I don't want to tell the class what I'm doing. What I'm going to say is what I said, and now you need to move on.
Speaker 3:Ooh Ooh, tiffany. Should I play any breaking news? No, there are some. Everyone quiet. Amanda has her hand raised.
Speaker 5:Excuse me, we have a pantry intruder in our house and I'm going to need you to mute the microphones on this side of the table for me real quick. Why? I just chased him out of the playroom with a box of cheese and snow. He's hiding in his room.
Speaker 1:That might be my fault. I went in there and got a snack.
Speaker 2:She turned on the siren and Braxton. There was no pep in his step. He slowly placed the remote where it goes, Because now he just knows he's caught. He got up.
Speaker 5:It used to be he thought he had to run for his life.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, there's a tornado, Like he's being chased by a lawnmower. Jams, what are you doing? Jam you okay down there? That seems highly suspect.
Speaker 5:Not if you don't point it out.
Speaker 1:Your head just escaped up the monitor.
Speaker 5:Will you mute me so I can be mean to our son?
Speaker 3:No, let's introduce the young man Will you just want, so I can be mean to our son. No, let's introduce the young man. Will you just want me to yell? How about just let him do his thing Across from me and in between? Are you feeling okay? My throat's getting a little scratchy. Oh, it's a Christmas miracle. Speaking of Christmas, it's young Brayden. Hey, peckerhead, hey peckerhead, maybe you should try to get it harder. I messed that up Cause you've got shit for brains.
Speaker 4:I've been in this life, but you won't get much smarter.
Speaker 3:Cause you've got shit for brains. Hey, hello Brayden. Hi, how much money you got on you today, did you plug?
Speaker 2:this in On me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how much money you got on you today.
Speaker 2:Did you plug this in On me? Yeah, how much you got on you right?
Speaker 3:now. Can you try to turn it on Electronically?
Speaker 2:Electronically. Yes, I'm not going to give you a roundabout number, but there is a comma.
Speaker 3:There's a comma.
Speaker 2:For now. There's five digits For now, For now.
Speaker 3:When do you anticipate that will be gone Friday. So is your phone working now, Jams?
Speaker 1:It's not charging it.
Speaker 3:We've had an emergency and the every joke has little truths to you. Ams is desperately trying to pester our son with our security system.
Speaker 2:She's sending down the little sister.
Speaker 5:I am because you won't let me yell at him.
Speaker 3:And jams is over there on her phone, hi.
Speaker 2:Chris and I got my name right Dickhead. We've been friends for three years, Martin.
Speaker 3:What's up, Chris?
Speaker 2:We've been real good up into your house Can you put it into a new hole.
Speaker 5:Excuse me, what.
Speaker 1:Every other time I've ever done that, I get in trouble. What? Just plug it in. You know what I'm talking about? Just kind of the cord.
Speaker 4:Nobody else knew that.
Speaker 1:That's what you used to call it too. That's not plugged in. How do you know? Oh, it's charging.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, the day we got divorced is really my birthday. Brayden, how was your week?
Speaker 2:I've been using your sayings lately. Which ones you like?
Speaker 3:surprises two times a year. Oh, I've said that one multiple times in the last month I said that to a guy.
Speaker 2:Today I went into his lab and he was. I was going to save the day. Were you wearing a cape? Yeah, I had to put one on.
Speaker 1:Are you on Twitter?
Speaker 2:And I said to him I says Eric. I says I apologize, I can't do anything. And he looked at me with a look that I haven't seen. It was defeat and disappointment, but not towards me. Okay, thank God. Yes, and he says he goes. Well, your company, you know. They told me I had everything. So I said look like. My old man says he like surprises twice a year, on Christmas and on his birthday Is today your birthday?
Speaker 2:He said nope, I said I'm sorry, it's definitely not Christmas, and that's why I said I said we've got a couple weeks before Christmas. It's definitely not that, Neither of those days.
Speaker 5:That doesn't make any sense as to why you couldn't help him.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, he didn't have any disposables, he had no reagents, he had no silica free agents.
Speaker 3:He had no silica. Those are all things Come on. I was just trying Honey what are you doing with your silicas?
Speaker 5:I don't see how that's a surprise and I feel like you use that saying I fucking hate you.
Speaker 2:It's the first time I used it. I like your silicas. It is the first time that one I've only used that once. But I'm slowly but surely turning into an old man and also a Republican.
Speaker 3:It's about time. Usually, children turn you into a Republican.
Speaker 2:I am as red as that slug bug behind you, maybe brighter red, I'm not sure yet.
Speaker 1:I even noticed it in Brittany, a little bit Like she doesn't notice it, but I can tell. Like their views changing, yours change.
Speaker 2:I looked at the gas prices the other day I was like God damn it, donald Trump's back, yes, sir.
Speaker 4:Yes, sir it said $2.89.
Speaker 2:I said bright red baby. Yes, sir, that's my president. I was like I've never had this outrageous.
Speaker 5:I mean I'm sitting in my car. What that should make you feel instead is old.
Speaker 2:Well it did. You don't even pay for gas. After all of this excitement in my head, I was like I don't even pay for gas.
Speaker 3:Why am I so excited about this?
Speaker 2:I'm not sure this is Trump's doing. God damn it, he's my president. That number's lower than it was last week, so thank you, I mean. All I'm saying is the next eight years baby, Because we get. Djt.
Speaker 4:No, it's only four, I know, then we get.
Speaker 3:Vance.
Speaker 2:And look same thing.
Speaker 3:Vance, I will be honest, I'm going on record right now. I will vote for him tomorrow.
Speaker 5:That guy won me over in the election Because he had the balls to come up and say hey, I'm just looking at my plane.
Speaker 3:That was the coolest thing I've ever seen a politician do.
Speaker 4:Did you know?
Speaker 3:that. Yes, he rolled up on the tarmac where I'm sorry, Jams, are we interrupting your texting time? He did.
Speaker 5:You have to finish what I want you to know.
Speaker 3:She's typing out a message.
Speaker 1:Read it to the class. I'm not reading it to the class why?
Speaker 3:Because I don't want to Well, I'd like a carrot. Nobody else is listening. Chris won't say anything. Hi, chris, are you texting Chris? Yeah, oh, that's weird.
Speaker 1:Jamie's going to be upset His wife's name is Jamie.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, Sorry I wonder if she goes by.
Speaker 3:Jaime, only when she has food delivered. Hey, let's introduce my wife, shall we? Her and her silicas across from me.
Speaker 4:It's my beautiful wife, mandarin I'm a bad bitch and I got bad anxiety. People call me rude because I ain't letting them try me saying I'm a hoe because I'm in love with my body issues but nobody I can talk to about it. They keep saying I should get help, but I don't even know what I need. They keep saying speak your truth and at the same time say they don't believe. Man, excuse me, while I get into my feelings for a second, usually I keep it down, but today I gotta tell it. Not that anybody gets a fuck anyway, but everybody talking shit person anyway. Y'all don't even know how I feel. I don't even know how I feel today. I hate everybody. And that's just me being real. Monday, tuesday, wednesday.
Speaker 5:Thursday bad bitches have bad days too. Friday, saturday, Sunday bounce back?
Speaker 4:Hi, bad bitch, I always do. All I really want to hear is it'll be okay, bounce back cause a bad bitch can have a bad day.
Speaker 3:Bad bitch can have a bad day. Honey, do you want to tell them the story about Isabel?
Speaker 2:I suppose we can. Now that I just have a little bit of it, I'd like to hear the rest. You know this story no.
Speaker 3:Did you know that, Isabel, I have somehow, in my six children, in four marriages, I have avoided, to my knowledge, any foreign visitors during amorous activities. Here's good news.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I'm so far. What the fuck? Isabel?
Speaker 2:walked in while they were doing it. Look at me doing it.
Speaker 1:I got when you said fucking doing it.
Speaker 2:All right, all right, that was a bit excessive.
Speaker 5:All of it's excessive.
Speaker 1:Here's the good news I never and what do you mean that you know of?
Speaker 3:Well, sometimes you don't know what your kids have seen.
Speaker 2:Garrett could come here tomorrow and say I walked in like four times. He just never saw me or heard me, and this is my first time ever speaking up.
Speaker 1:That's true. How many times you see it? Zero.
Speaker 5:All right Now to be fair, the funny thing is she opened the door, turned around left.
Speaker 2:And the next morning said I never went to your room, I've heard your dad have sex more than.
Speaker 1:I've heard my dad. Actually, God, that was horrible. Can we stop? I'd be downstairs.
Speaker 3:I'd be like I can't even go to bed In my own goddamn house. You're sitting down in your living room.
Speaker 2:You're just like God. It's been 45 minutes.
Speaker 3:How much longer can you possibly?
Speaker 1:go. Please, let's stop talking about this Dude. I can't.
Speaker 3:You're the one that brought him here. That's all I've got to say, do you?
Speaker 5:send a text and be like you done.
Speaker 2:Yet oh shit, no, dude, that was so you became a motherfucker. I was 14,.
Speaker 1:Walk past the stairs. I need this thing to go away on my screen. I backstabbed a couple.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 3:Garrett.
Speaker 5:Garrett, yeah, come with us.
Speaker 3:What do you need to go away?
Speaker 1:It's this, never mind, it's gone.
Speaker 3:It's gone. Oh, thank God.
Speaker 2:Thank God, did you ever walk in on your old man?
Speaker 3:No no.
Speaker 5:No, he did hand him a used condom, but that was mine.
Speaker 2:With your change, you would have chopped my hand off like they do in Afghanistan.
Speaker 3:Not proud of it. You know what I am proud of? I am proud that this is the last week of theGC SOD Family Fantasy Football League update. It's the final week. We're in the playoffs. Raise your hand. If you're in the playoffs, leave your hand down. If you're not, that leaves two of you. Ams you in the playoffs? No.
Speaker 1:Brayden, how the fuck you make it to the oh because you beat me.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 5:What do you mean?
Speaker 2:No, he just got lucky because I had to play he did just get lucky, because if I would have won, he and I would have had a tiebreaker. No, because you have more points, but he got lucky, I played six extra teams somehow this week, this season.
Speaker 5:It's what it seems like.
Speaker 2:I'm taking over. I have the ball First matchup. Bee-wee's beast, beat the dog shit out of me by 53 points. I didn't have a shot. This was my last nail in the coffin. Yeah, he beat the tar out of you. I got 106. Which is why you're spinning the wheel. Yes, the next matchup. The squads smoked the enablers.
Speaker 3:No, why not?
Speaker 2:It was nine points. How many does it take to win One? But?
Speaker 3:listen that was closer than it should have been. That's fair.
Speaker 5:Yeah, because I had somebody put up 50 points, Josh Allen five.
Speaker 2:Six total tees. He broke the. He has the highest score ever in fantasy football. He broke it. Stupid For real.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's awesome.
Speaker 3:Even all the apps. If she wouldn't have had his baby before now, she would have his baby now.
Speaker 2:Let's be, honest. All of his apps Probably would have happened before now. On all of the fantasy apps, he broke all of them. That's awesome. He holds the record and that's it.
Speaker 3:What color hair does Josh Allen have Jams?
Speaker 1:Like a dirty blonde, isn't it?
Speaker 2:That's fair. What number is Josh Allen?
Speaker 3:What team does he play for? What color uniform does he wear? I?
Speaker 1:don't know, I just know he's very good looking.
Speaker 3:Just give me a color. Oh, I don't know that I would consider him very good looking, I mean he's average.
Speaker 5:It makes a lot of money. You would take a bath with him.
Speaker 4:It's a white jersey.
Speaker 2:It could be like, I don't know, their last matchup. Team M 105. Jamba Lamba 110.
Speaker 5:Which is funny because Audrey didn't even set her lineup. I think she had three people not play.
Speaker 2:And that takes the last standings. Team M 9-4. Bee Wee's Beast 6-7.
Speaker 3:The Squaws Only two teams in the playoffs have winning records.
Speaker 2:The Squaws Only two teams in the league 4-9. That is the East 4-9. Now to the West 10-3. Jamba Lamba, Clinch number one seed Rooshville enablers five and eight.
Speaker 3:That's good enough for third seed, by the way, Berenstein five and eight Buffalo Busted Biscuits.
Speaker 1:Plays for Buffalo. Thank you for Googling it. No, I just got on the app.
Speaker 3:It doesn't matter if you do that either. That's the same thing, you stupid motherfucker.
Speaker 2:All right, so it is time, and I just, I only pray that this is the last wheel of punishment for the whole year.
Speaker 5:I get to take your shot if it's a shot.
Speaker 3:So here we go for the last one. Look, can we agree that if the three of us don't like it we can spin again?
Speaker 1:No, thank you.
Speaker 3:Yes, you don't have to do it, it's him.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, no, Thank you, you don't have to do it, it's him.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I want to push a button, but I don't even know which one to push I want to push one too, but it'll create World War 3.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't do that. I'm not scared of that. Look anymore.
Speaker 1:What did I do? You're not my spin mom anymore. No, oh, it's only Brady.
Speaker 5:Here is the spin Right now. Here we go. What did I do? You're not my spinoff anymore. No, oh, it's only Brady. Yeah, let's do it. No, I'm just saying here is the spin right now, here we go.
Speaker 2:What does it say? I wish I could read it. Oh, what's that? It's way too dark. What does it say?
Speaker 3:Get insulted by everyone around you. That's perfect Already, live it yeah we already do that.
Speaker 5:I don't agree. Would we like to do another spin, spin again. That's Braden's every day.
Speaker 1:I love you, Braden.
Speaker 3:That's an insult.
Speaker 5:No, it's not. That's patronizing.
Speaker 2:No way, what's that one? Is it blue? It's the blue one. Get really cold, all right Do. Now Can I go outside in my panties?
Speaker 3:No, it'll be like that time I sent you Hold on, we can do a.
Speaker 2:TikTok. I'll go outside in my panties. We can do a TikTok.
Speaker 5:Currently feels like 10 degrees outside.
Speaker 2:Currently feels like 10 degrees. Well, not right now. I'll have two belly bumps. We can't stop the podcast. We can't leave everybody live waiting.
Speaker 3:We'll do it after the podcast. You can videotape him running and he has to do the belly slide again. Baseball.
Speaker 1:There's really not that much snow. Last time there was quite a lot of snow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my nipples are going to fall off. Oh, your phone will protect you?
Speaker 3:Let's do one more spin your what? Or is bird, let's do one more spin. I just want to fly away. If we like this one, we stick to it If we don't like this one the snow.
Speaker 1:Oh sorry.
Speaker 3:I'm very movie In three, two.
Speaker 1:Like we stick to the last one.
Speaker 3:If we don't like this one, it's snow again.
Speaker 1:Get really cold.
Speaker 3:You know what it like. We stick to the last one if we don't like this. It's really cold, really cold. You know what it's to get really cold. That's what it's got to be what it is. So here's how we're going to do it. You won't get to see the punishment live. We will post it on tiktok so you can go watch. Brayden will strip to his panties. Run outside.
Speaker 2:I wore my good panties, dude, and then he will do a.
Speaker 1:He's like I'm good we can post on facebook too. Yeah, we'll post it for everyone to see.
Speaker 5:I wore my good panties, dude, and then he will do a Pete Rose type slide. I'm good we can post it on Facebook too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'll post it for everyone to see.
Speaker 2:But for the record, I've already posted one. I was ass naked About 12 years ago. My beanbag was out. You put that on Facebook. Yeah, oh, for sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we put one of those little smiley faces. He just used a real tiny one With little googly eyes. We mapped it out. Yeah, so you know what we're talking about. This week We've had such good luck with the Christmas theme.
Speaker 1:I'm actually very excited for this. Would you rather?
Speaker 2:I have one for you.
Speaker 1:Well, go ahead.
Speaker 3:No, don't do it.
Speaker 5:No, are you going to shit me? Why are?
Speaker 1:you giving him the great night like that? Don't do that. Should I just wait, my God, you would have been editing, would you or this is live, so we can't.
Speaker 3:Oh don't do that Okay.
Speaker 2:I want to fly close to the sun.
Speaker 1:Now listen, I don't want you to here.
Speaker 3:We are on a Christmas, would you rather? All right, so I'll just go down, you will talk about it, we'll see what you think. Let's have a little fun. There are 160 of these. Oh boy, we're doing all of them Strap in?
Speaker 2:No, we're not.
Speaker 3:It's a two hour and 40 minute podcast.
Speaker 5:We're going to be here till 3 am.
Speaker 3:It'll be real quick, I cannot wait for Ams and Jams, because there is one in there. There is one Ams and Jams on today's show. It better blow the doors off this house.
Speaker 2:You've said this before and it's disappointed me. You won't be disappointed.
Speaker 3:You promise it's. Look, it's not going to be like, it's not going to be one that you're like laugh and laugh and laugh. You're all going to sit in disbelief over what you hear. So let's get us started with a good. Would you rather, in my nice Barry White voice, Kind of like that Are you trying to be Santa? No, I'm trying to be Barry White. If I could divorce you again, I would I mean dude are you off your godforsaken rocker? Do you want to be?
Speaker 2:Santa. No, I want to be who I just said, not three seconds ago.
Speaker 3:I'm going to do my best. Barry White voice oh, you want to be Santa.
Speaker 1:No, you sound more like.
Speaker 3:Santa, that was Vicky Joanne, if I've ever heard it in my life.
Speaker 1:Oh, it just sounded more like Santa. If Santa sounded like Santa.
Speaker 5:If he sounded like Barry White.
Speaker 2:If Santa sounded like Santa If.
Speaker 3:Santa was black, I guess he could be. Let's move on Christmas. Would you rather we're live dummy? Would you rather receive money or gifts for Christmas?
Speaker 1:Oh my God, Are they going to be fucking these lame ass questions?
Speaker 2:No, I feel like a piece.
Speaker 5:I feel like a douche bag.
Speaker 2:I don't know. For all the times I asked for like money. Yeah, now looking back because, well, because I have kids, and like, hey, dude, like anything you want for Christmas, what could it be? Money? Shut up, you little bastard. Like, tell me what you want, yeah.
Speaker 5:Let me do something to put some thought into it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I understand that. Now, like Jet and Maverick, what do you want for Christmas?
Speaker 5:Because you realize how hard it is to go and pick out a gift for somebody Like there's a lot that goes into just trying to figure out what somebody else would like.
Speaker 2:So there's a lot of thought and effort put into it. They're easy now but, like I would say, money as like an 11 or 12 year old, and I'm like looking back I'm like, hey, you just made that so much harder for everyone around you.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't necessarily think that because, like, sometimes it's like OK, it takes the pressure off. I because, like sometimes it's like, oh, okay, it takes the pressure off.
Speaker 2:I'll you know. Would you give Audrey money for Christmas? Yeah, yes.
Speaker 5:James gives gift cards to everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah, actually, we just get a text Not this year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not this year.
Speaker 2:I love you guys so much, but same thing as the last four years no one's getting anything.
Speaker 5:No one's getting anything, but we have pictures scheduled in three days.
Speaker 1:Oh shit.
Speaker 2:Which would you rather? Gifts, gifts, yeah.
Speaker 5:All right Jams. I've got a few here for you. Can anybody else answer?
Speaker 3:You can, but I sensed what she was looking for and I think I've got it. Would you rather eat from a trough like a reindeer or have sex with Santa Claus?
Speaker 1:There you go. Jam have sex with Santa Claus.
Speaker 2:I mean.
Speaker 3:I like what you can't just eat in the trough.
Speaker 1:You got to be what's going to be in the fucking trough when I eat whatever the reindeer are fucking eating.
Speaker 5:No, it could be a cheeseburger in there oh okay.
Speaker 1:Well then I'll eat from the trough.
Speaker 3:She's just French fries. You done got railed by Santa.
Speaker 2:You don't get both. He was in the sleigh too. Well, I mean hey.
Speaker 1:No, you're not cold was full. Is Mrs Claus an option? No?
Speaker 3:So you pick Santa.
Speaker 5:Honey, which one would you do Eat from the trough?
Speaker 3:I would never want anybody besides you. Well, if I catch you at the right time, you can eat at the trough while I'm playing Santa. Oh boy, so you did that, that's fun. Oh boy, so you did that, that's fun. Brayden, would you rather dress in an elf costume and greet kids at the mall, or be forced to run the idea that Santa isn't real for kids every single year?
Speaker 2:Do I get to pick the kid?
Speaker 3:No, We'd be your personal attorney until you shut the fuck up. Do I get to pick?
Speaker 2:the kid no, it's all kids, I'd rather be the kid. No, it's all kids. I'd rather be oh, I can't do all kids, I would rather be an elf.
Speaker 3:So you would like to dress in an elf costume Amanda.
Speaker 5:I would have to ruin Christmas. She's going to break everybody's heart. You're not going to wear the elf costume. No, I'm wearing the elf costume, no.
Speaker 3:I'm not. You could borrow Mavericks and you could look just as.
Speaker 5:Dashing.
Speaker 3:That was your attorney, not a good outfit, what?
Speaker 1:Nothing Did it fix.
Speaker 2:Play it Jams. He's going to play it. What's going to happen?
Speaker 1:I fixed my thing oh.
Speaker 3:Jams, mm. Hmm, amanda, I'm coming to you with this one. Jams or Ams, would you rather? And anyone can answer Would you rather kiss the Grinch with tongue or kiss Ebenezer Scrooge's bunions, bunions, bunions the Grinch.
Speaker 2:You remember those teeth?
Speaker 5:they were green bunions are on feet oh.
Speaker 3:I'm making out with the Grinch, the Grinch oh well, you think he's got a little money in there he's green got him a big old dick. Does he sorry? Facebook?
Speaker 1:I fucking hate you.
Speaker 3:I don't feel good. Do girls do oil checks too when you're at a bar?
Speaker 2:Just to see what? No, alright, never mind.
Speaker 3:Well, now you have to explain it to her. No, what?
Speaker 2:did you ask Do girls do oil checks?
Speaker 5:No, what is that you can't?
Speaker 3:say no, unless you know it's a oil check.
Speaker 1:What is an oil check?
Speaker 2:Where do you think that goes and touches real?
Speaker 3:fast. I think that's the butthole is what it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1:He's changing direction, I think. Why would you do that?
Speaker 2:I don't know I've never done it.
Speaker 3:Let's move on before our podcast can never. You know, we are on our biggest whores in the county have no idea what I'm talking about. On our new network that we're on, not in, the county I see Not in the county. Second and third biggest whores in the county here. Right, my bad, I see a caution. Adult content and language.
Speaker 2:On our podcast and that's what we bring baby.
Speaker 1:Wait, you saw that where.
Speaker 3:On our new network when they played our podcast last week. I pray we don't go on the radio with the last, would you rather?
Speaker 5:Brayden, this one's for you. What would you rather?
Speaker 3:Brayden, would you rather listen to Mariah's All I Want for Christmas Is you on repeat until your ears bleed, okay, or be forced to incessantly eat gingerbread cookies with no milk.
Speaker 2:Cookies. No, you think I can't eat this. Alright, I'm going to prove.
Speaker 3:whoever is wrong, do you?
Speaker 2:remember doing the saltine crackers. I tried to eat six in under a minute. I almost died. And then Coach ate six in seconds.
Speaker 1:And then he died. He died very shortly after Coach ate six in seconds, well, and then he died, and then he died.
Speaker 2:He died very shortly after.
Speaker 1:There's a trend.
Speaker 3:Died very shortly after he ate six Doritos game over, oh fuck.
Speaker 2:That wasn't very nice. These aren't as salty.
Speaker 3:Honey, which would. I'm sorry. Did I interrupt your yawn?
Speaker 5:That's super zippy. Which would you do what?
Speaker 3:Super sleepy, which would you do? What was the question? Would you rather listen to Mariah?
Speaker 5:Carey, mariah Carey, until my ears bleed because that wouldn't take her long, like three songs in and I'm done. She's like my ears are bleeding.
Speaker 3:I'm done, unless Audrey's here, and then it just keeps going.
Speaker 5:No, they're bleeding, so.
Speaker 2:I'm all done. I put screwdrivers in my ears. I'm bleeding.
Speaker 5:All right, I believe it, oh, the little girl.
Speaker 3:This one is open to the room. Would you rather spend an entire or? I'm sorry. I'm sorry spend an eternity doing last minute Christmas shopping with a mob of angry parents Already there, which is me, or be forced to spend an eternity in a retail store that only plays Christmas songs on an endless loop.
Speaker 5:Angry parents.
Speaker 3:Angry parents Because guess what I get so sick of Christmas music.
Speaker 5:It is the worst.
Speaker 2:I can't do it. Christmas music is, hands down, the worst.
Speaker 5:It's too cheery.
Speaker 2:No, no, it's not even the cheery, it's the tone of it.
Speaker 1:How long do you have to Christmas shop? It's every year.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean typically. Christmas comes once a year.
Speaker 1:I meant for the question.
Speaker 3:Do you have to do it?
Speaker 5:until December 25th.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it says spend an eternity doing last minute Christmas shopping.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I guess, which is basically what we do anyways. Yeah, I mean I have like three gifts purchased For a whole bunch of people.
Speaker 3:Ooh, braden of people, oh, braden. Yeah, god, this brought back bad memories. Would you rather catch your mom and dad having sex while dressed as Santa and Mrs Claus? Oh, or? Getting back together, be forced to watch a sex tape of your parents, dressed in elf costumes, with your closest friends.
Speaker 1:One time.
Speaker 3:Each Well, you got to watch it on repeat.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, I don't know. This is a family tradition.
Speaker 4:We watch this every Christmas Eve. He'd probably like to be around your friends.
Speaker 1:You're so funny.
Speaker 3:I've seen them, I agree.
Speaker 2:I mean look, and by them I don't mean the people is it I have to watch my parents, or I have to watch my parents with my friends? Yeah, that's a tough one. Golly, it'd just be, I guess. Is it current? Well, my parents are in the room.
Speaker 1:No, that's why I say you're getting back together, do you?
Speaker 2:get to choose the mom is the question. Don't make me choose that.
Speaker 3:Which one do you want to see?
Speaker 2:weirdo. Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, I'm just saying do you get to choose the mom currently who's with dad, or any answer?
Speaker 2:is the wrong answer, just so you know. But one time it was just a fun twist I did walk out and when we lived on Berkeley and the Christmas tree was all up and you and Tracy were trying to eat each other, you guys were making out and I looked and I was like that's how people do it and I went directly to bed.
Speaker 3:First time I've like that's how people do it, and I went directly to bed.
Speaker 4:First time I've ever said that I think you should use different words.
Speaker 2:You guys were dude. It looked angry. I didn't like it very much. I'm not answering this question either. Just so you know, these two can. I'm not.
Speaker 3:What would you rather do?
Speaker 2:Couch my eyeballs out, thanks, I'd rather eat a bullet, if that's not an option.
Speaker 1:I guess if I have to suffer, so do my friends Like, come on in, let's do this, watch this shit.
Speaker 5:At least they can bring some levity to the situation.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like some funny. How about you? You don't have many friends.
Speaker 5:I don't have many friends, so guess you, you don't have many friends.
Speaker 2:I don't have many friends, so guess what you bitches get to see Ams which would you rather do by yourself or with your friends?
Speaker 3:Oh no, I'd be by myself, because I could just walk away and pretend I didn't see it. Yeah, I don't know why you guys didn't think about that. Ams, do you want to be locked in a padded room with someone who hates everything about Christmas, which is basically myself? You?
Speaker 1:Ams says that one.
Speaker 3:Or be locked in a padded room with someone who is fanatical about Christmas. Hates, hates, hates, hates Christmas.
Speaker 1:Because if I'm locked in a fucking room, I'm going to be pissed off.
Speaker 2:If I'm in a room with Buddy the Elf, I'm going to dismember him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I'm not trying to be.
Speaker 5:You have too much cheer For me. I'm going to need you to go sit in any other corner. They're just going to be happy and you're going to be so fucking pissed because you're trapped in this room, I would lights off and do I have a blanket?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but this person never stops talking.
Speaker 5:That's right, angry person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to cheer for Lisa Brayden. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Would you rather listen to someone complain about how writing Xmas is taking Christ out of Christmas, oh boy, or listen to someone complain about people saying happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas?
Speaker 2:The Christ out of Christmas, so I can be very mean to them.
Speaker 3:That's good, because I talk about the happy holidays and Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2:I do. I've been saying happy holidays every time I leave. Why Say Merry Christmas, dude Buck the trend. Well, with some of these people, I won't see them until after New Year's.
Speaker 3:So you're including all of the holidays? Oh, I told you, jams. What are you doing?
Speaker 1:The X out of Christmas.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Which one am I hating more? You understand the would you rather concept, right.
Speaker 5:To be fair, I forgot the question. No, it's, would you?
Speaker 1:rather, would you rather what?
Speaker 3:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Can you read it again?
Speaker 1:You're kidding right, you're kidding. No, because now I feel like I could.
Speaker 3:Would you rather listen to someone complain about how writing Xmas is taking Christ out of Christmas?
Speaker 5:I'd rather listen to them complain about saying happy holidays.
Speaker 3:Why are you snarling while saying that?
Speaker 5:Did you see it that?
Speaker 3:was a hardcore snarl.
Speaker 5:It made me angry to think about it.
Speaker 2:Someone said that I'd You're taking Jesus out of Christmas. He was already out.
Speaker 5:He was born in July.
Speaker 3:He's been out Brayden. Would you rather spend no, this one's for Amanda, uh-oh, but you can all answer. Would you rather spend a lifetime untangling Christmas tree lights or spend a lifetime carefully removing glass ornaments from a 50 foot tall tree?
Speaker 2:Carefully removing 50 foot tall tree so I can jump off and land on the top of my head.
Speaker 5:See, I say untangling lights so that I can pretend one accidentally strangled me.
Speaker 2:I'd jump off that ladder. I'd get to the tippy top.
Speaker 1:Tippy, tippy, top, bye Done.
Speaker 2:His chubby ass is flat now.
Speaker 5:I mean carefully removing. How careful do you have to be? Oops, I dropped it. Oops, I threw it, oops.
Speaker 1:I missed the container. Then there's no more Christmas ornaments for the Rosary.
Speaker 3:That's it for the raunchy ones. Jams, did you lose focus? No, no, no, I was trying to find more that Jams would like, because it's no fun unless it's mean to her. Would you rather decorate a Christmas tree or Christmas cookie?
Speaker 5:Cookie.
Speaker 4:Oh, I don't know no, okay If it's one cookie.
Speaker 5:One cookie is fine, but there's never just one cookie, there's normally 700 cookies, and the kids are interested in doing it for 13 seconds, and then you have to do the rest no by yourself.
Speaker 3:Please. I'm 15 now. I can only decorate one cookie, yeah.
Speaker 2:She said cookies six times. Would you rather have a?
Speaker 3:hot Christmas with no snow or a snowy Christmas, snowy Christmas.
Speaker 2:Hawaii sucked on Christmas.
Speaker 5:There wasn't a drop of snow, that would be miserable. Christmas trees up, walk outside sweating, no thanks.
Speaker 2:I was miserable.
Speaker 3:Would you rather go pub crawling on Christmas or sleep all day Sleep all day. And yawning into the microphone.
Speaker 1:I'm probably sleeping all day On Christmas.
Speaker 2:I'm not going out and about.
Speaker 1:That one Christmas that you first had, the first Christmas you had Audrey.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all day Really.
Speaker 1:Did I have her all day? Yeah, I was.
Speaker 3:It was court ordered. You couldn't do anything about it.
Speaker 1:Police can't handle some suits Fake news. No, it was just remember it was my parents had gone to Florida and yeah yeah hey, would you rather stay indoors or have an ice bath on Christmas?
Speaker 2:well, I'd rather stay indoors. If that's an option, I suppose I'd rather stay indoors be warm and nice and cozy wouldn't the ice bath also be indoors?
Speaker 5:Wouldn't the ice baths also be?
Speaker 1:indoors. I'm sorry, what? Wouldn't the ice baths also be indoors. No, they're not always outside. No, they are. There's usually one in like a training room.
Speaker 2:See they're forgetting the goddamn question Do they want to be cold or do they want to be inside?
Speaker 5:You can be cold inside. That's my fucking point. I'm cold right now.
Speaker 3:This one's for the whores. Would you rather have unlimited gas in your car or an unlimited surprise or surprise supply of mulled wine?
Speaker 5:Gas, unlimited gas in my car. Are you fucking serious? I don't have to get out and pump that shit. You don't want wine. I'd run one car out of gas and go drive a different vehicle so I don't have to put gas in it If these two got wine drunk that would suck. We did.
Speaker 2:Wine drunk.
Speaker 1:Didn't we At the last time? Yeah, when.
Speaker 5:In the hot tub. Was that wine we were going to brand you?
Speaker 2:No, I Believe me. I remember that was wine, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Would you rather spend Christmas alone or with a stranger Alone? Stranger Alone, why would you pick a stranger Brayden?
Speaker 5:Hims don't do well, alone the voices in his head start talking and they sound like hello. I'd like to talk to you, a complete stranger. I make real bad decisions when I'm alone. No, because, like hello, I'd like to talk to you A complete straight. No, I make real bad decisions?
Speaker 1:No, because then you feel like you got to talk oh no, I'd come up with.
Speaker 2:this is what I used to do in bars when I was deployed. I'd just come up with you. Special forces you are. I can't tell you too much.
Speaker 3:Or I'll have to. Would you rather get really drunk at a Christmas party or never get invited? Never get invited then, I don't have to turn it down, never get fired oh there it was. There it was, amanda. This one's for you. Would you rather play Secret Santa or attend a White Elephant Gift Exchange?
Speaker 2:I've done both, secret Santa.
Speaker 5:Secret Santa.
Speaker 2:White Elephant at.
Speaker 3:I didn't think either of you would say that White.
Speaker 5:Elephant's too public Secret Santa, I just don't know.
Speaker 3:Why do you think they call it a White Elephant?
Speaker 1:I don't know. Why do you think they call it a white elephant? I don't know.
Speaker 3:Why can't it be a black rhinoceros?
Speaker 5:There was a reason for it, the original thing, I'm sure there was. What is it?
Speaker 3:I don't remember, there's a fucking reason for everything.
Speaker 5:That's not true, she gave me some breaking news over there. There's not a reason You're so stupid.
Speaker 3:Season.
Speaker 1:You pressed the wrong button. I did?
Speaker 3:I wanted to do breaking news. All right, this one's for everyone in the room. Would you rather have store-bought or handmade gifts?
Speaker 2:Sure bot, I made you a gift once and you made fun of me about it. So what? I had a little red car that I took apart. I lost every goddamn screw, so I glued it all together and I painted it, and you expect me to not make fun of it. I was six dick.
Speaker 3:Well, you stupid idiot.
Speaker 2:I handed it to him and he said this is great, is he relevant? And I just looked at him like you don't like it, I would rather do store-bought. Well, at this age, handmade I like handmade stuff. Yeah, like all those ornaments.
Speaker 3:So, you want me to give you a handmade present for Christmas.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you like those so much we're going to give you one.
Speaker 3:Where are they? They're on my tree. Amanda and I are going to color your pictures for Christmas. No, I didn't.
Speaker 2:Their feet prints. No, I didn't. They're on my. I'll send you a picture of it tonight. They're on my tree.
Speaker 3:I don't know, honey, what do you want? Handmade or store-bought.
Speaker 5:Oh um, I want hands made from the kids.
Speaker 3:Oh, from the kids.
Speaker 4:You know what she told me.
Speaker 3:She wants again what For the third year in a row? She wants pots.
Speaker 2:Yep, that's what I was going to say.
Speaker 5:No, I don't want pots, I want pans. She wants pot. I want cookie sheets, I need new cookie sheets.
Speaker 3:That's a cookie sheet.
Speaker 5:I need new cookie sheets. That's what I mean. I like my pots and pans.
Speaker 2:She's going to go and find you a thousand dollar cookie.
Speaker 3:You're going to be gleeful. Would you rather learn? A new Christmas song or watch a new Christmas movie. Watch a new Christmas movie. Sing part of a song Jam, since you didn't answer.
Speaker 1:Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Speaker 2:Reindeer rap oh, what fun. Keep going, oh my God.
Speaker 3:You guys see Maverick? Oh yeah, he was getting down, that's the first time I've ever seen you look like him.
Speaker 2:That's so cool, dude and I was messing with him too. Maverick would put his glasses up on his forehead, like I do and he'd look at me like this. He'd put his eyebrows up, and then he did this to me once.
Speaker 3:Oh, I loved it would you rather prepare Christmas ham or turkey? Ham why do you choose ham? I don't know, I like ham, I feel.
Speaker 1:Prepare Christmas ham or turkey Turkey. Why do?
Speaker 2:you choose ham. I don't know, I like ham. I feel like it's, I feel like Christmas.
Speaker 3:Ham is like it makes more sense.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I'm glad to know you all fucking hate our food here. Thanks, oh, here it goes.
Speaker 3:We don't. We don't make turkeys on Christmas.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I know we don't.
Speaker 4:We to the year you tried killing us all.
Speaker 3:That wasn't even on Christmas, it was Christmas.
Speaker 5:We were celebrating Christmas because he wasn't home for Christmas, but it was when he came home.
Speaker 1:They were on the same time. Yeah, it was snow on the ground there was snow on the ground.
Speaker 5:That's how I survived.
Speaker 3:Brayden, would you rather propose to your fiance on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
Speaker 5:How about in a carriage downtown Indy?
Speaker 4:Hello, I want to talk to you.
Speaker 2:Die bitch Just keel over and die.
Speaker 3:I'm so sick of you tonight, man. I'm so sick of you tonight, man. So well, we are now off the rails. I'm so sick of you tonight, man. I'm so sick of you tonight, man. We are going. So well, we are now off the rails.
Speaker 2:I would rather do it on Christmas Eve. Why Christmas Eve?
Speaker 3:Because my dad already proposed on Christmas Day twice I didn't.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I did, yeah. You did Tracy Recycle and your current.
Speaker 3:And your current Honey, which would you rather be proposed to, and you ruined it.
Speaker 2:We had this. He set up this whole elaborate plan. I put a book under the couch. I look over. I'm going on with the plan. He's blubbering like a baby.
Speaker 4:Can't even get a goddamn just showing her, but a whole plan.
Speaker 2:I was going to get an Oscar, which would you rather? Christmas Day? Got it, got it. Don't break his heart.
Speaker 3:I want it on Christmas Eve actually, Would you? Oh, this is a good one. Would you rather know what Christmas will be like in the next few years?
Speaker 1:or Fuck off, man man, I fucking hate you dude. Or or fuck off, man man, I fucking hate you dude. Or I think this needs to be a fucking short podcast experience past Christmases again.
Speaker 3:Oh, christ future if I could go back to getting like my.
Speaker 2:Oh, please tell me he's talking about when he was a kid. Oh yeah, a little kid.
Speaker 3:if I could go back to that time, tracy and I Like my. Oh, please tell me. Yeah, I can't wait. He's talking about when he was a kid. Oh, yeah, a little kid. Oh, if I could go back to that time. Tracy and I enjoyed a nice Christmas Makeout session. Yeah, in front of the tree we were eating each other.
Speaker 2:as Brayden said Dude, you ate like you were trying to and now, looking back, I could have used better words. I understand that. The second it left my mouth I was like this is going to hurt for the next hour and a half.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I think I'm. I want to. I would like to know what the future Christmases look like.
Speaker 3:please, I'll take that one. They seem pretty empty from here. Probably lots of coal. It's a lot less, they seem pretty empty from here.
Speaker 2:Good news is Probably lots of coal. It's a lot less busy. Probably that's good news.
Speaker 3:Would you rather have what you touch freeze or fall apart like snow Jams? It's you, it just falls apart Everything. Everything you touch, brayden Falls apart, no.
Speaker 2:Everything you touch Brayden Falls apart. No, no, no Freezes, because they don't thaw at some point.
Speaker 5:Amanda, Freeze, and then I can throw things at people.
Speaker 2:Just like this.
Speaker 1:Ready, ready. I've already fallen apart. You can't fight with me.
Speaker 2:You can't fight with me, I'm going to freeze it. I'm going to freeze it In its current state.
Speaker 1:I'm going to freeze it. I don't think you want this current state.
Speaker 3:Brayden, would you rather get arrested for impersonating Santa or for stealing presents?
Speaker 2:Impersonating Santa.
Speaker 3:Or for beating your ex-wife.
Speaker 2:I've already gotten caught for stealing shit, so I'll impersonate Santa this time.
Speaker 3:Would you rather experience a scene from Home Alone or Frozen Amanda?
Speaker 2:Frozen's for real, though. If it's real, you're dead.
Speaker 1:You're dead. What If that's the part she chooses, if she touches you?
Speaker 2:without that glove, you're dead, you're frozen.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but that's not necessarily the scene. I like the little troll people, so I'm going to pick frozen and.
Speaker 1:I'm going to get you a little stone troll. I'm going with Home Alone Home.
Speaker 2:Alone, 100%.
Speaker 3:I'll go on the zip line behind him, you want the zip line. What part would you do?
Speaker 2:Oh no, if I get to pick one. When he shoots the dude in the head, when he shoots Frank, I think is his name. When he comes in the doggy door he goes hi, shoots him with his red rider and he goes hi.
Speaker 1:I like the one where he throws the paint bucket down the stairs and it gets both of them. That's kind of funny.
Speaker 2:The greatest is when he gets electrocuted. Yeah, and he's a skeleton. I'm going to watch that movie. I'm going to make the boys watch that movie.
Speaker 3:I want to have them over and watch Rudolph, by the way.
Speaker 2:We tried to watch Buddy the Elf the other day. We almost killed all four children. We almost killed all of them.
Speaker 5:Because that humor is not funny to them. I know I was like just love it, please, just let it be funny.
Speaker 1:They won't love it. Did they watch it in?
Speaker 5:their outfits. Brayden, this one's for you?
Speaker 3:would you rather see Elsa or Anna with no clothes on?
Speaker 2:are either of them 18?
Speaker 1:yes, okay, look at Brayden, which one?
Speaker 2:Anna.
Speaker 1:Anna why? Because she's got that wand strip in her hair yep, I am loving.
Speaker 2:My life brings me back, james, would you rather little?
Speaker 3:better figure I am loving my life Brings me back, james, would you?
Speaker 2:rather Same hair, little better figure.
Speaker 3:You can't say little and figure there Not together. Would you rather watch Frozen or A Christmas Story for a?
Speaker 2:full week Frozen, not a chance Christmas Story.
Speaker 5:I never watched the Christmas Story completed.
Speaker 2:Yes, you have.
Speaker 5:No, I either fall asleep or walk away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you okay, but it's been on. That movie's on repeat in this house.
Speaker 5:It's on, but I don't watch it. That's a problem. I have no interest in it.
Speaker 3:I like that movie. I'm changing this next one, you'll know which one. I've decided. Would you rather have pencils stuck in your butt or go Christmas caroling I?
Speaker 2:think that's what it is, christmas caroling. Pencils stuck in my butt. How big are the pencils? How many do I need to put up here?
Speaker 1:At one time.
Speaker 2:A bunch.
Speaker 1:Five A package A package of pencils. I can figure out five. I can figure out five.
Speaker 2:I can figure out five. I can figure out five. I'll put them up one at a time. I'll just sit stand up real straight. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Hmm, would you rather have your workspace smell like turkey or gravy for two weeks? Turkey, turkey.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know know, is it cold turkey when you first open it, or if it's? Cooked so bad and it's got that slime on it or is it cooked turkey?
Speaker 3:when you pick up the piece it just falls off would you rather not celebrate Christmas or your birthday next year? I think birthday I didn't celebrate this year. Oh, now he's upset again oh yeah, he's mad. I'm here on the podcast on my birthday whatever, all of you uh, brayden, would you rather live in a house filled with thousands of cockroaches for one day? Got not celebrate Christmas for two years.
Speaker 1:I'll not celebrate Christmas for two years, for five years, if I don't have to see a cockroach Peace out.
Speaker 2:Cockroaches suck.
Speaker 1:Fuck that For a day.
Speaker 2:For a day. Yeah, was it a day. Yeah, it's a day. I can't do cockroaches.
Speaker 1:Amanda, they're hissing.
Speaker 2:And you hear them. You hear them walking.
Speaker 3:Which part do you like the best? The cocks?
Speaker 2:or the roaches? No, hey, hey, we don't say that word.
Speaker 1:It's a cockroach, I know, but we don't say that word Kind into the roaches right now.
Speaker 3:Off camera.
Speaker 2:This is going to be a long two weeks.
Speaker 3:Excuse me, would you rather eat wet canned cat food or never celebrate Christmas again? Forget Christmas.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why. You guys have children. They'll forget it too or never celebrate Christmas again. Forget Christmas, yeah, why. You guys have children, they'll forget it too, she has you, I'm not eating fucking canned cat food?
Speaker 1:No, dude.
Speaker 3:Can you imagine that first bite of wet cat food?
Speaker 2:Would you put salt on?
Speaker 3:it, I would, I would, and hot sauce I've made you eat dog food A dog treat and I puked in the sink.
Speaker 2:I puked and I didn't even puke in the garbage disposal.
Speaker 3:I think I've gotten all of the boys with one of those. I just had Brayden eat some dog food, probably two months ago Dog food, he ate it. And he said that's not bad. I just started laughing. He said that. He said that's not bad, god. I just started laughing. He said that's dog food, isn't it? And you looked at him and I just started laughing yes, son, yes it is. And he said be more aware and started sticking his tongue underwater.
Speaker 2:I said don't be stupid, eat the rest of it, finish your your plate.
Speaker 3:God damn it. That's dinner Jams. Would you rather go a year without bathing or wear the same ugly sweater for a year? Ugly sweater for a year.
Speaker 2:Braden. Bathing is my pastime.
Speaker 5:Yeah, he would have to not poop for a year.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do not potty without a shower immediately after yeah, who would not potty without a?
Speaker 5:shower immediately after. Yeah, who would pick us? Who would pick us? We got a friend who came back. She came back. Cc Editors. Welcome back. How do you know it's female?
Speaker 2:That's fair. That's a good point.
Speaker 3:Hey, would you rather this one? This one is a prelude to Ams and Jams this week. Okay, would you rather brush your teeth with someone else's toothbrush than that? Or wear a Christmas costume drenched with sweat Not yours, not my sweat.
Speaker 1:How many times I gotta use the toothbrush A month?
Speaker 3:No, it says one time so it's the same amount you either. Well, it can't be. It's gotta be a week on the teeth brushing to wear one day of a sweat drenched. Oh fuck, can't be. It's got to be a week on the teeth brushing to wear one day of a sweat wrench.
Speaker 5:Oh fuck, you know what Toothbrush After one day, that's my toothbrush.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I will.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I can stick it under some really hot water.
Speaker 2:I don't, I mean.
Speaker 5:Dip it in some bleach, I'll use your toothbrush other than feeling somebody else's sweat.
Speaker 3:I can't do it, I'm put that on.
Speaker 1:No way and it's just stick and cold when it first comes.
Speaker 2:It'd grab on to you too. So what do you choose? That's a prelude though.
Speaker 3:Oh, that was a prelude, oh, that's good. Hey, would you rather have constipation or deal with bad breath on Christmas day? I don't know if it's yours or someone else's. This is like bad constipation where it hurts.
Speaker 2:I went to the doctor for this one.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Costed you three grand.
Speaker 3:I'm still not happy about that. He was full of shit.
Speaker 2:I would, boy. I really, if it's my breath, bad breath If it's someone else's breath, constipation.
Speaker 3:I think I'd rather someone else's. If it's someone else's breath, constipation, oh, I think I'd rather someone else's. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That would be worse. I just won't talk. Yeah, I'm just handling the bad breath. I'm not going to be Constipation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no way I handled somebody's bad breath yesterday from behind me it was the worst and he just kept on talking Like do I have to handle the bad breath all year or just that one day, you know?
Speaker 1:like just for.
Speaker 5:Christmas, I think it's just one day. Yeah, I don't see.
Speaker 2:Okay, I have a would you rather for the room All right On Christmas morning? Tell your deepest, darkest secret, or I lost the second one.
Speaker 3:Just like that. Just like that, I lost. Well that's because you heard your sister cry, yeah, and your other sister was supposed to save that.
Speaker 1:She probably fell asleep, hmm.
Speaker 2:All right, oh sorry. Tell your deepest, darkest secret, or Streak through the house on Christmas morning.
Speaker 3:Streaking. Is everyone awake, yep?
Speaker 2:Everyone's downstairs.
Speaker 3:So I have to go bebopping through the kitchen naked as fast as I can go.
Speaker 2:You're 50. Let's remember that. I know, not very fast, no more, you're probably going to trip over something. That's a fact. Spin it.
Speaker 1:Tell them A toy.
Speaker 3:It was at one time, I don't know damn it, man.
Speaker 2:I mean it just, I don't know, how it's constant.
Speaker 3:It's every. Well, I was yelling, it was feral.
Speaker 2:I just couldn't get it to go away.
Speaker 3:Every time I move. Would you rather have your teeth pulled out or have your hair replaced with tinsel, hair replaced with tinsel Hair replaced with tinsel.
Speaker 2:I've nobody messes with my teeth. I have a cracked tooth still. Garrett says he watched me crack it. Do I get new teeth? You were yelling at me to go find a drill bit and I couldn't get it out of something, so I bid on it. He heard my tooth crack.
Speaker 1:So do I get new teeth, though, or do I have to just live without teeth? You live.
Speaker 3:It doesn't. There's not like an addendum to this that says what it is next.
Speaker 1:Because if, like, I get new teeth, like I'm definitely going for the teeth, but if I don't get new teeth and I have to live toothless, then I'm going with the tinsel in my hair because at least there will be something there. Man, your hair's falling out anyway, I know. Fuck it, fuck it.
Speaker 3:Would you rather eat a half dozen worms or drink a glass of expired eggnog?
Speaker 2:Expired eggnog 100%. She didn't hear the question. Yeah, it's the eggnog.
Speaker 1:I'm not eating worms.
Speaker 2:I could think about eating worms and puke, but eggnog expired.
Speaker 3:Expired eggnog.
Speaker 2:Is it chunky, is it?
Speaker 1:chunky.
Speaker 2:I will chew my way through it.
Speaker 1:God, I'm going with the eggnog.
Speaker 3:What is eggnog?
Speaker 1:It's like, isn't it a milk base?
Speaker 3:It must be. It looks like milk what they didn't.
Speaker 2:They didn't last podcast. They call it spicy milk. Yeah, there was some sort of milk, uh, egg milk or something like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it said something crazy about it yeah, I remember, I I remember something about eggnog, but I don't remember what it was specifically I'd put some bourbon in it. Get that down. Is it bourbon that they put in eggnog?
Speaker 2:Is it Bourbon of whiskey? Yeah, I don't know. They don't put clear stuff in it.
Speaker 3:Jams. Would you rather fart loudly in public or forfeit next year's Christmas presents? Forfeit next year's Christmas.
Speaker 2:You wouldn't fart just one time Doing that anyway.
Speaker 3:Yeah, definitely do that. Um. Would you rather stop using deodorant or wear the same Christmas sweater for two weeks?
Speaker 1:same Christmas sweater for two weeks easy. I'm not gonna stop wearing deodorant. Are you fucking shitting me?
Speaker 3:you know how many times I have to remind Amanda to put deodorant on. What is it with women that they can't put the deodorant on before their shirt?
Speaker 1:I don't know I don't know either.
Speaker 2:I can't, I.
Speaker 1:I have to put deodorant on after I have to take my shirt off if I didn't put deodorant on for real yeah I can't just reach up, I can it's just too weird, so I don't no kidding, I have to have my shirt on.
Speaker 3:I have to have unfettered access.
Speaker 1:I have like a deodorant in my purse, because I never put it on at home, it's always in the car.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'd forgotten that, yeah, you are a. You're an undershirt. With every shirt, though. Oh, yeah, I am not, and I like with, like, my under armor shirts, I don't wear an undershirt. Yeah, so I put my shirt on and then deodorant, so I don't get the marks, the deodorant marks. Really, I can't use the gel. You put that much time in it. Yeah, I put. I get chemical burns from the gel. Ooh, like my.
Speaker 2:it's something about like it's probably that get like burned Really, so I use the white one. But if you put it on first it's all over your shirt and it stains the white Yep.
Speaker 3:Tommy, I'm able to get it on.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I think the gel's much easier.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like gel much more than the other. Well, I was trying to pause to give Ams a chance to get back, but based on time, we're going to have to go. Here we go, it's the most wonderful time of this goddamn podcast.
Speaker 1:Did you really think this was going to be a feel good segment?
Speaker 5:Are you insane like me? Welcome to relationship advice with AMS and jams. Well you asked for our advice. We just hope you're ready for brutal honesty.
Speaker 3:It's going to be brutal, here we go.
Speaker 2:This is our first iteration of the B&J segment of the podcast.
Speaker 3:So it's the Bray and Jams Relationship advice with Bray and Jams.
Speaker 1:Oh God, Never mind. Here we go, Dear Bray and Jams. Oh God, Never mind.
Speaker 3:Here we go, dear Bray and Jams, my 13-year-old plays soccer. Oops.
Speaker 2:I put him up for adoption.
Speaker 3:There is one particular mom who has a younger child, not on the team, maybe seven or eight years old. Mom is a gentle parent. Kid is an absolute brat and does whatever she wants during games. What's wrong During games? If mom gets touched out, as she calls it, and is basically overwhelmed and needs a break from her own kid, she'll just walk away and assume the other soccer parents will supervise. I don't like. I don't feel like I am responsible for her kid. You know I won't supervise. Yeah, you're not.
Speaker 3:Last weekend Crunchy Mom walked away and left little Mary sitting in front of me. Mary decides to run out on the field and obviously got trampled. Crunchy Mom comes running over furious with me because I should have stepped up or I should have been watching her, as I knew she had stepped away. Mind you, she never asked if I'd watch her, just assumed I would, because I also have younger kids they're two and 11 months. I explained that I too was all touched out in quotation marks by her kid, who thinks she can climb all over anyone, get into everyone's stuff. So I too was taking a break from her kid at that time. So, ams and jams, is it my duty to watch someone else's kid, because our older boys are on the same soccer team no no for
Speaker 1:fuck's sakes. No, that's stupid's stupid, that's an insane thing.
Speaker 5:Yeah, now in a serious situation, I mean, yeah, people do the right thing, but if you're just using that system to not have to watch your own kids, especially if your kid is obnoxious at those things, no, but I mean she was just ran into the middle of the field.
Speaker 1:It's not like she was running into the middle of traffic.
Speaker 3:Well, she got ran over by soccer players.
Speaker 5:Hopefully she got trampled. I think trampled was probably excessive.
Speaker 2:Hopefully she got trampled they probably tried to avoid her. I hope it was metal cleats.
Speaker 3:We didn't help that person at all.
Speaker 2:No, we did, we did no you're not responsible for that You're not responsible for someone else's child.
Speaker 5:I think she knew that, right I think she was looking for advice on the next time.
Speaker 1:Oh, the next time I didn't say that damn thing.
Speaker 5:I think it was a badass move to say I'm sorry, I was touched out from your child.
Speaker 3:Have you ever heard that All touched out? Yes, brianna.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it's a buzzword.
Speaker 3:Never have I ever, every single time it. It's part of now it's transferred into being.
Speaker 5:I'm overstimulated.
Speaker 2:And I got to tell you, although that does happen to me. I will give one person credit to that First person I ever heard say. It is Brianna.
Speaker 3:I'm just overstimulated and I was like that's because she's being stimulated by multiple men.
Speaker 2:What does that mean? I'm just, I'm touched out and I was like, ok, now go sleep on the couch, all right and out.
Speaker 3:And I was like, okay, now go sleep on the couch, all right. And I slept on the couch for six months and she said I'm talking to your friends on tinder I just want your touch.
Speaker 3:I needed you to vacate the bed so somebody else could occupy it here's the story last night, after after an event that we drove separately to, I said do you want? M want McDonald's Because I'm stopping to pick up food for the kids. That's very nice. I was not feeling well and did not want to cook. It was also getting late. My husband said can we go somewhere else? I said my car is hitting Mickey McDonald's. It's kind of an emergency to get home. He decided to drive my car with us. I get the kids' order and his brother's. That was texting me. It's a 10-minute drive. I go in and order. The drive-through line was huge. I wish people would type these in such a way that they're easier to read. I get back in the car and he asks what did you get me? I was floored and replied I didn't know you wanted anything because you never said so. I have never just picked out his meal for him without being asked. That is why I think he's tripping.
Speaker 2:Ew Totally tripping.
Speaker 3:At any point. He could have said I want X, y, z or hey, can you pick for me? But he didn't. He said I left no space to ask. But we sat in silence for most of the car ride. After I got orders from three kids, I wasn't aware I had a fourth man hold a fourth kid, a fourth man hold through who needs me to be babied, ams and jams. Should I have gotten a Big Mac and moved on?
Speaker 1:You should proofread your fucking shit.
Speaker 5:Um no, if he doesn't want food, you don't get him food.
Speaker 3:I think that was the point. He wanted food, but he didn't say it. Well, if he doesn't say it, he didn't order my food.
Speaker 5:He said he did not want McDonald's.
Speaker 3:I guess that's true.
Speaker 5:He said can we go somewhere else? And then after that, when you say no, we're going to McDonald's, I don't want to go anywhere else, he should have said, all right, fine, then I'll take this.
Speaker 3:Why are you snarling?
Speaker 5:Closed mouth don't get fed douchebag. Is that a?
Speaker 2:saying Closed mouth.
Speaker 1:I don't think we helped her but she needs to help me if she ever writes back in, please, full sentences.
Speaker 3:Full sentence. Yeah, Full sentence. A little bit of punctuation. Xyz isn't something you type my throat or like my yeah, y'all are fucking sick.
Speaker 1:You need to hurry up, because if I get sick I'm going to be shitty.
Speaker 2:You're going to be shitty in a couple of days anyway.
Speaker 5:And there's currently a pipey Am.
Speaker 2:I going to change your life.
Speaker 5:Pipey Jo, waiting in bed for you to come cuddle her.
Speaker 3:Me. Is that why she was crying?
Speaker 5:She, honey, you know are you. She said I want to wait in your bed for you guys to come cuddle me. I said, okay, I'll be up in a little bit. She said with daddy. I said yes, honey, with daddy. All right, see you next week.
Speaker 3:All right, this is the one I would probably call it, if it wasn't for this one If he wasn't so excited. Jams, I'm going to need your full attention.
Speaker 1:Okay, got it.
Speaker 2:Put that away. How could you possibly be texting with all of this going on?
Speaker 1:Nikki.
Speaker 2:Word.
Speaker 3:Read it to the class.
Speaker 2:Show it to me.
Speaker 3:Dear Ams and.
Speaker 3:Jams me, dear Ams and Jams. Three days ago, while I was out working, my sister started frantically texting me that I needed to call her, that it was an emergency. I called her and the first thing she said was look at this picture I'm about to send. Is this your toothbrush? For some context, my sister had a baby around a year ago and has a baby monitor slash camera set up in a back room that isn't being used in my parents' house. Whenever she comes to visit and my nephew needs to nap, she'll put him in there in the back room where she has the monitor set up.
Speaker 3:It turns out that my sister got a notification, while none of us were at home, that there was activity in front of the monitor, and she decided to check and see what it was. He puts the. He puts it in his butt. Well, what it was was, in fact, my mom, or what it was in fact, is my mom using my $100 vibrating toothbrush with a bag over it, masturbating. No, I was real close, though. She took a screenshot and sent it to me to confirm that it was actually my toothbrush. Not taking a screenshot of that? No, thanks, it was. So I tried involving my sister for help and she told me if I try to involve her in the situation, she'll stop talking to me completely. Jesus In parentheses like I give a shit if she's that bad of a sister. By the time I got home, my mom was already in bed. Of course she's.
Speaker 3:She's up tuckering out, she needs some rest. I just feel like.
Speaker 5:Holy shit, I'm going to need you to buy me a new toothbrush by the time I got home my mom was already in bed and I wasn't able to say anything to her.
Speaker 3:Luckily, my dad was awake and I told him what had taken place, what he was shocked but immediately tried somewhat defending her, telling me that he guesses he doesn't do it for her anymore I'm sorry, she just needs a little extra, extra man I wonder if her teeth are clean, you could get a nice one for like 80 bucks just go to sarah every time she put a plastic thing over it. What do you think she is an animal?
Speaker 2:yes, this is a barnyard piece of cattle. I get through, is that, not it?
Speaker 3:It almost. It's almost like he thought it was funny until I told him I was going to move out because of it, and it ruins any kind of relationship I have with my mother.
Speaker 5:You live with your parents anyways. Move the fuck out. You bought a hundred dollar toothbrush and you live with your parents.
Speaker 3:I feel extremely violated over the situation, as I think anyone would. I feel extremely violated over the situation, as I think anyone would. I don't know really how to exactly approach the situation with confronting her, besides coming out and saying it without sugarcoating it. How do?
Speaker 2:you sugarcoat that.
Speaker 3:Should I educate my mother on the proper use of a toothbrush or move on with my life?
Speaker 1:Move on with your life. Go buy a different fucking toothbrush. Just leave the fucking toothbrush. You don't even need to bring it up.
Speaker 2:Not a chance that you use my. You use my toothbrush. Did you brush your teeth?
Speaker 3:It's not my teeth, I brushed.
Speaker 2:There is not a chance. This goes.
Speaker 5:I got to tell you I'm dropping toothbrush jokes for years Carpet bombing toothbrush.
Speaker 1:Well okay, that's our family, but clearly she's pissed about it right, she's definitely pissed, would you not?
Speaker 3:be pissed Because I erased a bunch of that one.
Speaker 5:How many times before?
Speaker 2:has this happened.
Speaker 5:That's how you do it, mom.
Speaker 2:Just tell me this was the first time. Is this the first time what you know? Is this the first time what you know? Is this the first?
Speaker 1:time, or did you allow me to?
Speaker 2:use it again.
Speaker 3:Let's play this out. Let's play this out.
Speaker 5:And also there's no bag that seals enough. Yes, you're the mom.
Speaker 3:I'll be the mom. Okay, honey, you're the daughter.
Speaker 2:And it's the morning after you found out good morning, it's either the morning after or the night after, because you woke up after your post.
Speaker 5:Oh, that's fair Post. What Is it coital?
Speaker 2:It wouldn't be coital Master.
Speaker 5:Masturbatory.
Speaker 2:It's not auto fellatio, so it'd be auto. What's with your hand? Because fellatio is the Masturbating. Well, yeah, but the fellatio is Greek, isn't it? For head.
Speaker 1:Yeah for head.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right. Why'd you say that in front of him? Why'd you say that in front of him?
Speaker 1:Well, I'm just trying to figure out what we're talking about, because we're not talking about that.
Speaker 2:I'll go first.
Speaker 3:The scene is set, you are mom, I got to tell you, hold on. I thought Amanda was the daughter.
Speaker 2:No, he's so eager Mom Chomping at the bit. All right, so I'll give you two of them. The night of Nope, the night of you have to get up out of bed, for fuck's sake.
Speaker 3:Come in. Who is it? It's me. I was beating off with your toothbrush.
Speaker 2:Can you just let me sleep? Yeah, I know you were Get up, so the next morning Mom.
Speaker 3:Yes, honey.
Speaker 2:What'd you do last night?
Speaker 3:I watched some TV, did a puzzle. What was the puzzle? I had some horses on it. You know I like to start on the edges because that's how I get the base set. Yeah, the middle. I'm missing a piece. I can't find it. Did you brush your teeth today? Did I brush my teeth? Yeah, yes, I brush my teeth. Yeah, yes, I brush my teeth every morning. Honey, I thought you said that.
Speaker 2:You should too. You should try it. Thank you for bringing that up. I brushed my teeth today.
Speaker 3:Good, that's good. Did you use your toothbrush? I did. Did you use the electric one?
Speaker 2:Yep, I'm glad that you're so Uh-oh, uh-oh.
Speaker 1:I didn't think he used, so that one's yours.
Speaker 2:The one with the blue bristles, the blue one, just thought it was your dad's the really nice one that vibrates. Yeah, there's a couple different settings. Does it stay on the whole time? It goes zzzz, and then it goes zzzz.
Speaker 3:And then also goes zzzz. All of that's true. It does as it turns out.
Speaker 2:It's got a couple I spent a lot of money on that.
Speaker 5:It really pisses you off when it changes settings and you hit the wrong button.
Speaker 2:So here's what I'm saying. What I'm asking you is we're out of sandwich baggies.
Speaker 3:Yes, I'll buy more Did you? Want to pack a sandwich? No, we're out of sandwich baggies.
Speaker 2:I'm looking for a sandwich baggie and also I ran across an issue with one that I found in the trash Because I was going to reuse it. It's not for food or anything, it's just for something I got to carry.
Speaker 1:Now you're digging in the trash for a bad thing.
Speaker 2:It was right on the top.
Speaker 5:It had a funny film.
Speaker 2:It had a funny film. Mom, I just got to ask you my toothbrush. I've felt this film before. Oh fuck, that's awful, melissa. You know, melissa, my sister, right, your daughter, your other daughter, she, she, melissa Etheridge.
Speaker 5:You can't bring her into it? Are you losing your sister?
Speaker 2:Well, I'm going to lose a sister, and guess what? Because after I say this, mom's gone too.
Speaker 1:Because she sent me a little, a little DIY video of you brushing your teeth backwards.
Speaker 2:It's me brushing your teeth backwards.
Speaker 3:Oh no, honey, no, I don't use, I don't brush them backwards.
Speaker 2:So what do you do with my toothbrush?
Speaker 3:and tell me right now I swear to God, I swear to God.
Speaker 2:If you lie to me, we're done.
Speaker 3:You're not going to like the answer huh, just give it to me, we're done. You're not going to like the answer.
Speaker 2:I just give it to me. Give me my veggies, what'd you do with my toothbrush.
Speaker 3:I put the bristles in your dad's ass and I put it on myself with a baggie.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that's why dad was like because you're not doing of funny, because you're worrying about that's where it's been.
Speaker 3:Because this one time he checked my oil and then what happened was we were making love on the front porch.
Speaker 1:Oh, for fuck's sake.
Speaker 3:And he does this one trick where he swirls his tongue.
Speaker 5:No, oh right, we're done with it. Yeah, how do we get to the front porch?
Speaker 3:We walked right out the door, honey.
Speaker 2:Right out the door Was the toothbrush still running In your dad's pocket?
Speaker 3:Oh, he carried it out, oh well, I'm not going to carry it. That's gross, that's disgusting. With every step he took, it buzzed a little more.
Speaker 2:I got to tell you this woman needs to talk to her mom. There's not a chance this goes unnoticed.
Speaker 5:I say the conversation starts, mom, next morning having coffee, you have it, throw it on the table. It's weird I went to brush my teeth this morning and my toothbrush is dead again.
Speaker 3:And smells like shit.
Speaker 5:Why I think I need a new one. Can you get me one for Christmas?
Speaker 1:I'm just going to hand it to my mom and say, look, there's better things to use, but I'm going to need a toothbrush.
Speaker 5:I know, you know, we all know here's the best way to handle it.
Speaker 1:Get it fixed. Yeah, we can't wait to hear this.
Speaker 3:Here's the best way Eat the nastiest shit you can find, sit across from the table for a few days, don't brush your teeth, and when your mom finally says honey, that breath, you say listen, bitch.
Speaker 5:You're worried about my breath.
Speaker 3:I have some news for you.
Speaker 5:And does my wife hear?
Speaker 3:you, what'd you say?
Speaker 2:It's all good.
Speaker 3:I didn't hear it, but if she said it like that I know what she said.
Speaker 2:I'm good with it.
Speaker 3:I wonder what this is going to be. Now. It's time to talk about one thing I love. Jams, give me one thing you love and one thing you hate.
Speaker 1:I love clarity.
Speaker 3:Clarity is good, like finding that toothbrush.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and and Careful. I hate when things break. When you want them to work you try hard Brayden.
Speaker 3:one thing you love, one thing you hate. I love being able Like being able to Like Jax's son on Sims of Anarchy. No, just hold on.
Speaker 2:Because Christmas shopping for the boys with Alexis was the funnest I've ever had. It was very enjoyable.
Speaker 3:Were you wearing an elf costume? Nope.
Speaker 1:Was anybody wearing an elf costume? No Okay, how about a white jumpsuit?
Speaker 3:Oh, we still have to film your TikTok, by the way. Thank you.
Speaker 2:It's midnight, I know I love being able. We didn't have any really worries. Everybody's getting everything they wanted.
Speaker 5:We're not going to be able to do this every year. You mean, there was nobody fighting too.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, there was no. It was a good time had by all. It was just a good and it's going to be a good Christmas.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was a good time.
Speaker 5:It also currently feels like it's nine degrees outside.
Speaker 2:Outstanding. Hey, I hate Brianna, and when I say that I mean every single scenario.
Speaker 1:You just got to get over it.
Speaker 2:I can't get over it when it's every single day Jams. I know I cannot. I mean you could.
Speaker 1:I can't.
Speaker 3:I hate being late on changing the graphic.
Speaker 1:Well, should I stay?
Speaker 3:Live.
Speaker 2:I've already told you yes.
Speaker 5:How about you hate still not being divorced in 2024?
Speaker 1:In 2025. Or 25.
Speaker 5:Not being divorced by 2025.
Speaker 2:Hate that too, and Alexis is laying it on me. It's not like malicious, but goddamn it's funny and it's.
Speaker 5:It'd be nice if you were not married anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we saw somebody get married the other day, like on a movie or something she was like that must be nice and I was like alright bitch.
Speaker 1:Can't be married to two people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean you can. You're just not supposed to be.
Speaker 1:Why do you keep switching it? Stop, damn, it's you. It's not supposed to be.
Speaker 2:Why do you keep switching it? Stop? Sam submits you love and hate. What do you love?
Speaker 5:It's my turn.
Speaker 3:Yeah, one thing you love, one thing you hate, honey.
Speaker 5:I love Christmas time. I love all of the feel goods and giving gifts and things like that, and I hate Christmas time.
Speaker 2:That was last week too. I need you to give me another hate. I don't think I said that last week I love Christmas and I hate Christmas, or I love the holidays and I hate the holidays Give me another one.
Speaker 5:No, that was not what I said.
Speaker 3:All right. Anything else.
Speaker 5:No, that's kind of my thing right now. She loves me. I love all of the family time that we're all getting to spend together and I hate it because I had zero weekend to do anything and I have. I really have three Christmas gifts bought for hate plumbing to all of the people. You said that last week that was your hate. I mean yeah.
Speaker 3:I love. What do I?
Speaker 2:love honey. You're not gonna not get yours, are you?
Speaker 3:out.
Speaker 1:I love where the fuck are my markers? Can I get those back?
Speaker 3:I love Jamie's awareness at the end of an hour and 20 minute podcast she says, hey, where are those? They've been gone for a month now. Piece of breaking news next week. A piece of breaking news next week Next week of the newly launched Beyond Brave podcast. We'll have Lyle and Kyla CT on the podcast next week, so that'll be a fun interview. Talk about their new venture, a little piece of stardom. I am the producer of that podcast so it's going to be exciting to talk about that yeah.
Speaker 1:They are kicking our ass in downloads. I'm very upset about that.
Speaker 3:They are but technically I'm part of it, so I get both. Yeah, so you're welcome, yeah.
Speaker 2:Good job for everything I'm putting five. I'm not thankful for anything. I have to go slide in this much of snow and ice. I hope you get ready for that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, can we get ready for that?
Speaker 3:I hate, that I'm about to watch my son get himself arrested being silly on Christmas. Hey, sorry, this podcast was so crazy. Head on over to ThankGodCancerSavedavedourdivorcecom and Chico lives.
Speaker 4:Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha.
Speaker 4:You gotta, fight.
Speaker 3:Aye, aye. Well, we're finally updating this part of the outro. Find us at thankgodcancersavedourdivorcecom. Where else can they find us, Jamie?
Speaker 1:You can search on Facebook for Thank God, cancer Saved Our Divorce. You can find us on Twitter, instagram and TikTok. If you at TGC SOD, what's that stand for? Thank God, cancer Saved Our.
Speaker 3:Divorce, tgc, sod Correct. That's weird, that actually kind of lines up it does. We'll take it, thanks.