My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and ME!
Imagine a groundbreaking podcast where your current wife and your ex-wife share a mic. In this captivating podcast, Denny takes center stage as he navigates conversations with Jamie, his ex-wife, and Amanda, his present wife, using nothing but a microphone to untangle the complexities of their intertwined lives. Together, they explore the challenges and triumphs of parenting, tackling sensitive subjects such as divorce, co-parenting, and the emotional journey of overcoming cancer while cheering on their shared daughter, Audrey. Throughout the episodes, our trio courageously confronts the realities of their relationships, discussing adoption, the dynamics of blended families, and the sometimes turbulent waters of step-parenting. This podcast invites listeners into an authentic dialogue about life and family, emphasizing the theme of "parenting without excuses." With humor, honesty, and heartfelt insight, Denny, Jamie, and Amanda offer a refreshing perspective on what it truly means to support one another as co-parents and navigate the complexities of modern family life.
My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and ME!
Introducing: Deece Casillas!
Ever wondered what happens when your past and present collide under one roof? Join us for a hilariously chaotic episode of "My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and Me," where the unpredictable dynamics between Denny, his current wife Amanda, and his ex-wife Jams make for a comedic adventure. Our episode kicks off with the usual podcasting hurdles—snow-induced connectivity issues and a cameo from our favorite feature, Brayden, recounting his snowy escapades. Amidst the tech glitches and familial banter, we navigate through the comedic reality of merging our family life into this creative project, sharing plenty of laughs along the way.
Prepare for a rollicking discussion as we tackle the quirks of podcast guest recruitment. From the absurdities of geographic mix-ups involving hats and hoodies to the whimsical demands of a Canadian guest, our conversation is a testament to the unpredictable nature of podcasting. Reflecting on childhood snow days versus today's digital age, we sprinkle in a touch of nostalgia, all while exploring the genuine challenges and triumphs of booking guests. We question the true value of appearance fees with a playful, tongue-in-cheek approach, ensuring listeners get a behind-the-scenes glimpse into our world.
The episode takes a detour into the vibrant Texas comedy scene, powered by our special guest Deece Casillas, including comedians and even presidential candidates. We chat about Austin's rise as a comedy mecca, thanks in part to Joe Rogan's influence, while playfully critiquing the potential pitfalls of an oversaturated market. We share our experiences with stand-up comedy's societal impact, transitioning from fringe art to mainstream success. Wrapping up with insights on comedic timing and evolving humor, we celebrate the timelessness of comedy and the lasting impact it has on audiences, ensuring a thought-provoking yet entertaining listen.
Learn more about Deece at these links:
https://www.inferno.earth/about
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-social-hour-with-deece-casillas/id1168851680
https://www.instagram.com/deece.comedy/?hl=en
I'm Amanda, the wife, and I'm Jams the ex-wife.
Speaker 2:And I'm Brayden, just the future.
Speaker 3:Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Denny Broins. I'm the only man dumb enough to get his wife and ex-wife in a studio to do a podcast. And here it is my wife, my ex-wife and me.
Speaker 4:That peace and happiness might be found there. You gave me hope, and now, now we have to say goodbye. Ouch, if there's any bitches in this room then there's something.
Speaker 5:I gotta say Say For all the fools who fell for the first girl, who comes their way.
Speaker 4:I've been down that road and now I'm back Sitting on square one Trying to pick myself up.
Speaker 3:Where do I start it from? My Wife, my Ex-Wife and Me. Starts now. Starts right now. Welcome to this week's edition of my wife, my ex-wife and me. My name is denny broens. I have successfully pissed everyone off in the. Every joke has a little truth studio.
Speaker 1:I'm in a good mood everyone but brayden I've upset my wife, I was in my ex-wife, I was in a fine mood, but you're fucking on.
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:Well, let's be fair, cranky 10.
Speaker 3:Cranky 10. Yeah, what's before cranky 10? What number?
Speaker 1:Like what's lower Cranky 9. Cranky 8.
Speaker 2:You'd have to ask Audrey. Audrey taught her that.
Speaker 1:So here's what I have to say that sounds like a 10-year-old in a group text.
Speaker 3:Today, jams is like hey again day of podcast, don't even get me started. And she says, hey, can we blah? I don't even remember what it was and I was like you know what? It's the day of said podcast. How about we do these plans before? Because Because you're like, oh, can we blank this? And I said, well, I've got a guest lined up for tonight, right, and if we're going to do these wholesale changes, I'm good with it, but we have to do them before day of that's how it was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so that see how reasonable I am Changing shit at the last minute, yes, okay, let me ask you a question. Okay, alright, when did you tell us?
Speaker 2:Yes, it is live Lucky cookie, cookie Motherfucker.
Speaker 5:What.
Speaker 1:Jim Scott, when did you tell us that we were podcasting at 9 or 9.30?
Speaker 3:With a guest.
Speaker 1:With a guest.
Speaker 3:Last week.
Speaker 2:That's bullshit With a guest.
Speaker 1:Last week. Oh, that's bullshit, that's bullshit and you know it. That is bullshit and you know it's bullshit. No, you didn't. You told us today.
Speaker 5:I don't think that's true. That's 100% true.
Speaker 1:Pop, pop. I hate that this happened, because it's true.
Speaker 5:We never To be fair you don't get half the text messages, so you don't know we never, ever know what we're doing for the podcast until friday well, to be fair, that's because we don't plan any of it correct, but we don't know what we're doing, because we in a rare moment where my wife comes to my defense no, no, no, but I agree.
Speaker 1:I agree with amanda we also don't help planet. However, when are we supposed to make changes? I was supposed to ask you about asha on monday, when she asked me, I forgot okay, we don't have to get deep into yeah, details I'm just I'm Well to all of our YouTube friends while these two finish fighting.
Speaker 5:Yes, we are live and we planned everything last minute, but if we're lagging, that may be because we've gotten like four inches of snow.
Speaker 2:Hello Eric, nice to see you, and then yeah the roads are really bad All right?
Speaker 3:Hey, let's do some introductions shall we.
Speaker 5:I thought she was going to have to hide here in the snow.
Speaker 3:Let's start with my ex-wife, who clearly has an opinion and wants to change everything. Her name is Jams.
Speaker 6:You ruined everything you, stupid bitch, you ruined everything you stupid, stupid bitch, stupid bitch.
Speaker 4:Everything you stupid, stupid bitch. You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things and wants the world to burn.
Speaker 3:Bitch, you're a stupid bitch lose some weight, say hello jams, you have nothing to say.
Speaker 1:Hello everybody. I didn't want to do it when you told me to do it, Tyler says there's about to be four divorces.
Speaker 2:I'm reliving his third one right now. Send a hi to my Brazilian friend in Pinto, armado Armado.
Speaker 3:Why are you saying it like that? I don't know. Maybe a guest can help you with that. When, uh, when he gets on. We've got a guest backstage right now, our single guest, what'd?
Speaker 1:you say I don't know if he's single or not no, what did you say?
Speaker 5:our guest, just our guest. Why do you keep? Why?
Speaker 3:is everything single?
Speaker 1:never mind I think I know I like dicks. Oh, my god, I hate you.
Speaker 3:Hey, let's introduce my son, shall we across from me and in between stepmom number two and stepmom number three, it's young brayden maybe you should try a bit harder because you've got shit for brains.
Speaker 4:I bet in this life that you won't get much smarter.
Speaker 3:Cause you've got shit for brains. Say hello Brayden.
Speaker 2:What it is. What's up, that's right.
Speaker 3:Four inches of snow on the ground. Good, do you think the snow put the fire?
Speaker 1:out. It's not snowing in LA Wow.
Speaker 3:This is a different fire.
Speaker 1:What fire?
Speaker 2:The one that I had.
Speaker 3:Maybe we'll talk about that offline too.
Speaker 2:I was being funny and then you interjected, so it kind of looks like a winter wonderland. Me and Alexis went to dinner in Outback and after we got done I saw an empty area in the parking lot. I did the smoothest donut I've ever done in my life In. After we got done I saw an empty area in the parking lot. I did the smoothest donut I've ever done in my life.
Speaker 3:In your Subaru, boy, did I?
Speaker 4:Nothing says I'm going to get laid like a Subaru doing some donuts, say baby, buckle up.
Speaker 3:This thing gets a little out of control sometimes man all.
Speaker 2:187 of this horsepower is about to show you something.
Speaker 1:Tyler.
Speaker 2:I hate snow too. Oh, I love it. I love it so much, and I was driving home from Indianapolis Today and people Were off the road as if it was I watched this little tiny Malibu go Into the ditch and just go Back and forth, I'm like you're not going nowhere.
Speaker 5:I just I have no idea how people are really losing it.
Speaker 1:Somebody flipped over in the ditch on 600th as a rollover.
Speaker 3:And refused care. So Indiana, where we're at check local listings. Last week we were supposed to get 10 inches of snow. We got zero, not a snowflake.
Speaker 5:To be fair, 45 minutes from here where I work, had 6 to 8.
Speaker 2:That does piss me, because Indy got smoked. You got 6 to 8 too.
Speaker 3:What.
Speaker 5:Are we still measuring in inches.
Speaker 1:Millimeters.
Speaker 2:You guys should know. When he gets angry the jokes get meaner. But I've had a good week. I had a good week with the kids. It was good, Good, I've enjoyed it.
Speaker 5:We got to watch our little tiny demons go outside and make little tiny snow angels. Piper's legs were about this long Her legs are perfect.
Speaker 2:I got kid-free weekend. After I leave this house, my phone will be off. Damn it. No, it won't. You're on call, aren't you? No, no, if my kids need me, because their mother's just ridiculous, she's great.
Speaker 3:Hey, let's introduce the mother of my children, at least 50% of them. That's not true.
Speaker 1:That's not true. Yeah, your math's a lot, oh hold on no, no, no, that's right.
Speaker 2:Three, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 3:All right, I would like a public apology.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I was about to light you up and I was like, actually that checks out. He is yours out. How old are y'all? So she's 32, 42, he's 41 and I'm 17, I am 38. Oh, double d she's, she's 38 I'm 27. He's the big five, zero she's 32.
Speaker 3:So just fyi again for those of you that are keeping track at home, we, we are on Instagram, we're on Facebook, we're on Twitch, we're on X, formerly known as Twitter, and for the first time on our network that we're on right now or our streaming connection, we're on TikTok again, and the YouTubes, and the tubes.
Speaker 1:That's right. Until TikTok goes away, it's not going anywhere. Tyler, you 33, that's my favorite.
Speaker 4:let's introduce my uh beautiful wife mandarin I'm a bad bitch and I got bad anxiety. People call me rude because I ain't letting them try me saying I'm a hoe because I'm in love with my body issues, but nobody I can talk to about it. They keep saying I should get help, but I don't even know what I need. They keep saying speak your truth and at the same time say they don't even know what I need. They keep saying speak your truth and at the same time say they don't believe. Man, excuse me, while I get into my feelings for a second. Usually I keep it down, but today I got to tell it. Not that anybody gives a fuck anyway, but everybody talking shit probably sucks anyway. Y'all don't even know how I feel. I don't even know how I deal. Today. I really hate everybody and that's just me.
Speaker 3:Being real Bad bitch can have bad days. Hello my beautiful bride, hi, how are you doing this evening?
Speaker 2:Lovely. When was your last bad day as a bad bitch? What? When was your last bad day as a bad bitch?
Speaker 5:I don't think that's not the way it goes all right they can have bad days, but they're bad bitches all the time yeah, I was a bad, never mind man pajama I was a bad bitch on tuesday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I looked good. So, okay, I'm sorry, real quick it is. I dressed up for work. Uh dressed up for work on Tuesday because I was feeling myself.
Speaker 3:Which part did you?
Speaker 4:start with.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? Dumb question, the dumbest. She went and got a pair of scissors to make the cut lower.
Speaker 1:You shitting me? No, no, no, it was this like jumpsuit thing I had. Oh, it looks really good on me. Anyway, I wore that I curled my hair. No, I looked good.
Speaker 3:Thank you, Tyler. Yes, that is an awala.
Speaker 1:The UPS driver comes in today he wasn't in the last two days Then he's saying, hey, where'd the girl go that was working here on Tuesday? No, but I look like this today and he says, oh, did you have a date the other night? And I said, nope, super single, no. I was full of spite he said oh well, you looked really good. And I said thanks, cause I knew he meant you don't look like shit today. No, he meant, golly, I could take you to dinner. He was 100% married.
Speaker 3:That doesn't matter. So was I when we got together.
Speaker 1:Yeah but I will never do that again, but anyway I just thought it was funny. He was like, oh, did you have a date the other day? Because you looked really good and I'm like fuck you no.
Speaker 5:So I was trying to get one. Speaking of dates, I'm working on it.
Speaker 2:Speaking of date, we have one. We have a date.
Speaker 3:I'm working on it. Speaking of date, we have one. We have a date. Yeah, we. Who has a date? We have a date. We do On the old podcast this week Not in the Every Joke has a Little Truth studio 12 minutes. I'm sorry, what Do you have? Anything you'd like to say? Yeah, he's been sitting back there for 12 minutes For for 12 minutes you say well, we're going to introduce our new friend, and right now I'm embarrassed because I know where he's from, but I forget like the city he's he's, he's got a sense of humor.
Speaker 2:Say something funny. Well, go ahead you start you don't want to go anywhere than me he'll make fun of me until I cry you think he's the only one funnier than you wow, here comes the fighting.
Speaker 3:On the line is our first comedian on the show besides me. His name is deus cassius. Let's bring him on. Say hello, deus cassius. Let me fix my screen so we can see you. Mr Casillas, how are you doing this evening? Doing well, guys. How are you doing? We are doing well also, thank you. Now I've instructed everybody. I can't be the only one that talks to you.
Speaker 5:Oh my God, At the same time telling me not to talk too much, Don't look me in the eyes when you talk to me.
Speaker 6:Okay, it's very you know important people, I got it. It's just no eye contact. It's in my writer, that's yeah, I should have.
Speaker 3:uh, I should have shared that with everyone. I don't remember signing it and the brown M&Ms, right, you only want brown.
Speaker 6:Yes, I Actually. I want the tan M&Ms, the one they don't make anymore. So you got to work for it, right?
Speaker 1:That's right. They used to make tan M&Ms.
Speaker 6:Yeah, they used to make. Oh, my God, I'm showing my age. Yeah, for blue M&Ms, there were tan M&Ms, there were two versions of brown, but America's like we got enough brown.
Speaker 2:We got plenty of browns.
Speaker 6:We don't need these M&M's coming across stealing American M&M jobs Taking space for all the blue and red.
Speaker 5:That's a good one. Right off the rip, it's a party.
Speaker 3:Now it's okay. Deese is of Hispanic background.
Speaker 6:That's true. That is true, I made it across.
Speaker 3:He's in the club, he can say what the fuck he wants.
Speaker 2:I think we should have Jamie try to guess where you're from. I don't want to guess.
Speaker 6:Where I'm from. Well, I mean, I'm from America, despite my heritage. Jamie thought you weren't. Are you guessing the city I'm from now?
Speaker 3:Yeah, take a guess where he lives. If you're within 100 miles, you can run the podcast next week We'll give you a tan.
Speaker 5:Gotta go.
Speaker 2:Tejas, gotta go Tejas, gotta go Tejas.
Speaker 1:What the fuck is Tejas Texas?
Speaker 5:Oh really, nobody knew that. I wouldn't say Texas, that wasn't a funny joke. I would, that's also not a city.
Speaker 6:I'm also wearing an LA hat, but a Seattle Sonics hoodie, so I am all over the map right now, as far as Okay. So then do you live wearing an?
Speaker 1:LA hat but a Seattle Sonics hoodie. So I am all over the map right now as far as OK.
Speaker 6:So then you live in LA Geographically? No, I do not. I'm from LA and I don't live in Seattle either.
Speaker 3:So this park's been riveting. Yeah, thanks, jams, for your quick.
Speaker 6:What am I supposed to do? This doesn't live. Is it warm or cold, it's a little cold right now, but in general it is a warm place.
Speaker 1:North Carolina.
Speaker 6:Oh no, no, I'm not fucking Amish Wrong side of the country. I do live in Texas. I'm in Texas.
Speaker 5:Are you in Texas.
Speaker 6:It's almost like I was right.
Speaker 5:They're getting a bunch of snow right now, aren't you guys? Oh, not this part in Texas. I'm in Texas, are you in Texas? It's almost like I was right. They're getting a bunch of snow right now, aren't you guys?
Speaker 6:Oh, not. This part of Texas, Not by Dallas, and a bunch of snow is being very generous. They're getting a little bit of snow. I mean I lived in western Montana for years. They get a lot of snow. Texas got. I mean it didn't, even I live in San Antonio it. Texas got gets. I mean it didn't, even I live in San Antonio. It didn't even snow here yesterday. It just got down to like 35 and they closed the schools so are you kidding me?
Speaker 3:yeah, it's a state of emergency. The pussification of of our childhood is amazing. It's 35 degrees, no school. But when I was a kid I remember walking to school in knee high snow uphill both fucking ways. Five miles.
Speaker 1:Well, the other thing is, too was a kid. I remember walking to school in knee-high snow Uphill both fucking ways Five miles.
Speaker 2:Well, the other thing is too. Now Braxton can just get an assignment with a click of a button, and I think that's bullshit. I do not agree with that, Complete bullshit. Snow days are snow days for a reason, and you should be able to go out and have a good time.
Speaker 3:So Deese is with us because we found each other on. We found each other.
Speaker 1:I feel like you found him.
Speaker 6:No we found You're on Grindr.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's one of the sites that you don't say you're on the sea breeze is deep.
Speaker 3:We like long walks on the beach. Yeah, I guess I should have thought about that. Well, as you've heard from everyone in the room, Dees, I am hung like a young Chinese boy.
Speaker 6:Like that guy All right well, I don't know if you're trying to turn me on or turn me off with that.
Speaker 2:He's basically saying you're the one breaking the sweat. Partner. Sorry, dude.
Speaker 6:Jesus, oh my God, everyone's got a fetish. You're fearless. You're telling me okay, sorry, you need somebody to fix my iphone also.
Speaker 3:so I'm your guy as it turns out, uh, I'm mechanic. Um, so yeah, we found each other on facebook on one of these stupid little podcast, you know, groups, find a, find a guest, or whatever and I liked his post. He actually, I think he just said do people actually podcast anymore? Isn't that about what you said?
Speaker 6:Yeah, pretty much pretty much and I had a string of bookings cancel on the like last minute, same day, and I'm like Jesus Christ, people, christ people. Are we, you guys, do this or not?
Speaker 3:so and and he's right every fucking person that you invite on a podcast either a it totally, or they don't give a shit, or I actually had. So how many times have you dealt with this deuce? I actually had a woman that I found and I was excited to have this girl on and she was bantering back and forth with me and then she just went silent and I'm like all right, she's watched the show or she's listened. She doesn't like it, it doesn't match what she wants to do, Although she was pretty out there and she. I emailed her and said hey, did we scare you away? And she responded and said oh, no, I would definitely come on. Uh, but if you're going to want me on there soon, I have to get a passport. And I'm like get a passport. She was from Canada and I said no, you don't want a Canadian on your show?
Speaker 6:Definitely not Bullet dodged.
Speaker 3:So well, this, this I'm going to I'm not going to call her any name she may eventually end up on, but she emailed back and said oh okay, well, I have an appearance fee of 250 dollars. Oh okay, I'm like oh well, that's why you'll never be on our show or many others that that you might ever reach out to, because we're a small podcast, we're in a basement. You think we're fucking?
Speaker 2:joe rogan yeah, come on, we're not putting you up in a hotel, whore. Oh boy, jesus, that's ridiculous. Just to come on to give like you get to. You get to pick the time that you give these people and you're gonna say I get 250 for my time, I better get. Are you gonna be spewing out gold and are you gonna be spewing out for 250?
Speaker 5:you're not getting much gold, yeah, at least something after that, 250 for an hour is decent money look, you go to the massage place and they take your underwear off for not even that much.
Speaker 6:That's true yeah, you can do. You can take your underwear off for free, it turns out, doesn't matter where you are, you know, it depends on how much the judge charges you in the end.
Speaker 3:But you can do it and that's like a deferred payment plan. You don't have to pay all that up front.
Speaker 6:Yeah, you're fine. Just don't do this to an elementary school. Lesson learned.
Speaker 3:Just just ask Robert Kraft, you got to find a new way to get to work, yeah.
Speaker 6:Yeah Well, you know it's not work. If you love it Taking off your pants around kids, you know it was a playground and it was at night, can we?
Speaker 3:relax about it. I was peeing, yeah, yeah. So, dees, tell us about your passion project called your Podcast.
Speaker 6:Tell us all about. The social hour with Dees Casillas Is that my passion project? That's sad, that's so. The social hour is my weekly podcast, Mostly weekly now. It was very, very weekly for most of its uh, uh long storied career. Uh, it's more, yeah, a couple of times a month. Now it comes out on Wednesdays. It is a uh talk show with a comedy slant. I've been doing it, for God, almost 500 episodes now. Uh, 10 years, over 10 years. Um, and yeah, yeah, I just, I just kind of talk to whoever I want to talk to now. It used to be more of a Back before COVID ruined everything, I had an audio studio at my house and I had a producer and a news anchor and a guest and we had a whole thing, and now it's mostly just one-on-ones via uh, via the internet, like this. So it's still, it's still fun. It's just a different show than it used to be.
Speaker 2:Who were some notable guests you've had on there.
Speaker 6:Um, well, I've interviewed a couple of presidential candidates. Um, although libertarian, so it barely counts. Um, you know, that's like. That's like saying I'm my parents' third favorite kid, you know, so it's all good, I have to fall. You know, that's like. That's like saying I'm my parents' third favorite kid, you know so it's all good, I have to fall.
Speaker 6:you know I've made the podium, um, but uh, you know I've uh interviewed some, some comedians. Uh, the, the. Let's see. Like, uh, god, what the hell is the guy's name? No, I can't. Um, like, uh, tom Arnold's been on the show. Jamie Kennedy, um, forget the other guy's name? Why don't? I've worked with him a million times. I forget his name, don't? You love being put on the spot where you got to remember? You know I don't like him that much, so it's probably why I forgot he's been on the show, the, the, the comic book writer who created Deadpool. He's been on the show, no, kidding, a bunch of other comic book creators too.
Speaker 3:I'm a big comic book fan, so yeah, so his first podcast came out the month before Audrey was born, if that.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, yeah.
Speaker 3:Like when you start putting shit in perspective, you're an old man now, as it turns out. You know, by the way, how old are you? Oh man, I am 42. Oh boy, I remember 42.
Speaker 2:Jamie's 38.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you tried to tell me I was 42. Or you tried to tell everybody else I was foreshadowing he's 42.
Speaker 2:I knew that.
Speaker 4:He was foreskinning.
Speaker 2:You know about that this part gets awkward.
Speaker 3:Is this a love connection between you and Deese?
Speaker 2:Deese, just tell her if she has a chance. If you could, are you married?
Speaker 6:no, I'm not, I'm not. I do have a girlfriend, though, so yeah, yeah she's jumping to conclusions okay, I'm sorry, can you lift? Your hand again, you know maybe we can all do a podcast together yeah, you know yeah it's worked out well for me so far.
Speaker 4:You know, maybe we can all do a podcast together.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, I hope that works out. Yeah, it's worked out well for me so far. Yeah, although there's no what's it called Cuckolding?
Speaker 2:Oh boy, hey, we don't talk about that, not with me.
Speaker 4:What is that?
Speaker 2:I don't even really know what it is. Don't make me explain these. You don't explain I. Him to explain it to you where I can hear it.
Speaker 6:Do you really want me to explain it? Yeah, you don't want to. Yeah, it's. You know, when a man loves a woman, who loves another woman, who loves a man, it's very complicated.
Speaker 2:There's a chair in the corner. That is, that's your chair.
Speaker 3:Why am I sitting?
Speaker 5:in that chair.
Speaker 2:Because, you, you're a cuckold and you like the way and it's a watching thing. Wait a minute.
Speaker 5:It's a watching thing. Wait a minute, it's a watching thing.
Speaker 2:Time out. Yes, there's a whole philosophy behind it. And then the dude, the husband of the wife, the cuckold, goes in after, and then they do their thing.
Speaker 6:That's also called hot. You'd like to be the beta?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it's a mask. It's a submissive thing. You take my wife and then, after you're done, I'll have her. It's weird.
Speaker 3:I would put a bullet in somebody's head immediately following this event.
Speaker 1:Maybe you should look things up before you just ask the final questions.
Speaker 2:You're the one that came out. Is that a?
Speaker 5:whole cuckold situation.
Speaker 3:What are you doing? I don't know what that is.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah.
Speaker 5:You're showing your age.
Speaker 3:I guess, oh yeah.
Speaker 5:So we're talking about the social hour. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Get back to our guest, please.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's. Let's roll right back to that. Is it true that Texas is becoming the I guess the stronghold for comedy, like Joe Rogan's doing his thing in Austin, and San Antonio is not too far away.
Speaker 6:Yeah, we're about a little, maybe an hour and a half, south of Austin, so real close. Um, oh yeah, as far as it's, austin has become the Mecca for, for comedy, a hundred percent in Joe Rogan moving here is what an opening a club is. What did it? Um, it has been great for comedy and it's also, uh, ruined comedy in my opinion, but it's also ruined comedy in my opinion. But it is definitely the mecca of comedy now. And you know, la has changed so much and it'll be gone in a couple of days, burned down, god willing.
Speaker 3:Well, there was an earthquake there too. They're really trying to get rid of that place.
Speaker 6:Well you know, if those fags would stop butt-fucking, god would stop.
Speaker 5:It's a podcast, baby. That's what I read in the Bible. I didn't say it but Pastor did.
Speaker 6:It's not my opinion, I just heard him say it, that's one of those quotes, man, that you were talking about. That's how truth works. You hear it, you repeat it. It's real.
Speaker 3:And then, and then it puts it into the, into the world. That's right, you know.
Speaker 2:So, would you say when? When you say that it's that it could be bad for comedy, would do you mean it as like you can't really start, you can't really have a comedy career or really a comedy dream, unless you're from Texas? Is that what you mean? Because LA is slowing down but New York is still? I mean, andrew Schultz is killing it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6:No, I mean, if you're established, you can live anywhere and do comedy.
Speaker 6:If you're trying to. You know, austin is just a bad place, I think, for people to be if you don't have a career already. Just because it's, everyone moved there. Everyone thought they could be a comedian, everyone moved there. Everyone uh just wants to get their minute on kill tony and everyone's doing their shittiest, like one-liner, you know. Yeah, like edgelord jokes, trying to get on and it's like fine, whatever, do your thing. I don't give a show you make jokes about. I I'm not sensitive about it at all, but it also makes for a really shitty like. That's great for that format, but everyone is getting trained into only doing that format and then when they go on the road or have to perform across in front of other crowds and they're it's a shit act, they have no act. They have no. So, um, yeah, that's that's kind of the direction all these up-and-coming comedians are going and it's uh bad for the future of comedy you know, you know what it really reminds me of.
Speaker 3:Sorry, right after um it. What it reminds me of do you remember the boom of texas hold'em? Uh, yes, how everybody just started playing texas hold'em yes. How everybody just started playing Texas Hold'em and you know, I was kind of in that. I started playing it around then too. But you know, then everybody you know showed up to card clubs wearing sunglasses and all that shit. That's how it feels like comedy is now.
Speaker 5:Just oversaturates. Yeah, it's just too many people think they're comedians.
Speaker 3:And you know roll up and, and especially with the advancement of tiktok, and you know streaming services, podcasts, all that everybody fancies themselves a comedian in some way well, and not to mention social media, is killing, like I'm sure you.
Speaker 2:You're in this game for 17 years. Like you've been on the road, you've been a road warrior oh yeah, this hawk to a girl. She's selling out arenas because she talked about, uh, an act and was genuine and funny about it and, like you, you didn't put in any of this work and it's like you woke up on third base and you acted like you hit a triple.
Speaker 6:You know well, here's the thing people don't realize is, like you know, these comedy club owners are not comedy purists, you know, they they don't, they're not altruistic, that just love comedy. People who own comedy clubs are, you know, people with an alcohol and probably cocaine addiction who own a, a, a, basically a glorified chilies, and with a psycho in the corner yelling at people. So you stay there longer in by $12 chicken wings and $14 Bud lights, like that's the. That is the business model of a comedy club. Yeah, so they don't give a shit If you're funny, they give a shit if you sell tickets.
Speaker 2:And that's what you just described Sam Kennison and Missy Missy Shore at the comedy store in LA. You just described that he was the dude that screamed at Mitzi. That's what. I'm sorry, but he he just Sam Kinison was the funniest dude ever, but he was just screaming at people and he was a crackhead, like he ate a goldfish on stage, all of that shit, and that's what made like. That's what comedy comedy places are, and now Joe Rogan is trying to revitalize that and I just think that it could be. It's a slippery slope, just like you said.
Speaker 1:I just don't understand why it's Texas. Is it because everybody there can actually take a joke?
Speaker 6:Well, no, it's what well, what it was is they. Texas was one of the few places during the pandemic you could that was open. Yeah, so people you know, like I, I lived in Washington during the pandemic, um, and I left Washington and I went to like Florida as soon as they opened up and started doing shows. I just got a hotel room and started getting got a rental car and I was down there for like two months just doing shows. Then Texas opened up. I went to Texas for like two months and was doing shows over here and so Texas was open and you know there was a lot of censorship issues and kind of bodily autonomy, just kind of basic freedoms and liberties that were being infringed on in this country.
Speaker 6:And Texas was pretty kind of like hey, you get to do what you want to do in America. And it got a lot of people to go to Texas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's kind of what I thought, and then it got just.
Speaker 6:You know, joe Rogan was the Pied Piper. He opened the club and everyone just followed.
Speaker 3:So when do you think the golden age of comedy really is?
Speaker 6:I like to think Germany 1942 was pretty good. Wow, those people, you know I mean not everyone got it, but what they were doing was high level, andy Kaufman. People just didn't understand. It was just a big yuck yuck. There was definitely some yuck there. I'll tell you what it was just a big yuck Yuck, but there was definitely some. You know, it was a real gas. So anyway, I know yeah.
Speaker 3:Welcome to the show, if you're listening.
Speaker 6:I, uh, personally, I mean the uh, I. I think there we might be in the the height of comedy, or or we it's kind of trending down a little, but uh, I think we might be at the around the zenith of, uh, of of comedy, because there's never been a time in comedy where there's this many comedians that are arena acts. You know, um, you know, I mean, like the early two thousands, dane Cook sold out Madison square garden and that was just unheard of. You know. Now, andy's horrible, right, that's funny. And now now there's like 15 comedians that could sell out Madison Square Garden, maybe more. So it's, you know. Yeah, it's just a little more ubiquitous, it's a little less of a fringe art. I don't think it's going to go back down as far as it did in the mid-90s. But you know, I think we hit its kind of saturation point and it'll level out a little.
Speaker 3:But I think it'll stay pretty consistent and the other thing that I've noticed is that the the comedy scene, they they're kind of kicking wokeness to the curb. Oh, you took my point. Was that your point? Yeah, and, and it's, it's refreshing to see. But you know, for so long comedians were even kind of handcuffed and that's where you go to get, you know, to make fun of things and to kind of take the sting out.
Speaker 5:Take, you know out of it into situations you know.
Speaker 3:So have you? Have you made a conscience, conscious effort to you know, to kind of abide by that, or what have your thoughts been on there?
Speaker 6:I've always been either everything's on the table or nothing's on the table, because you can't pick and choose your moral line, because you know everyone's got a personal I mean, I don't because I'm a piece of shit, most real people you're amongst friends a some sort of like moral line or that's too far. They don't want to talk about that. So when you put, you know you put three people in a room together. You could you put two people in a room together. It's going to be a little different. So who do we cater to you? Know, everyone, because they're selfish pieces of shit says cater to me. Well, no, fuck that. I'm going to be a little different. So who do we cater to you?
Speaker 5:know everyone because they're selfish pieces of shit, says cater to me.
Speaker 6:Well, no, fuck that I'm gonna cater, cater to the low performing, and if you don't like it, fucking leave. Uh, you know, that's, that's the way I look at it. Um, because there's, I mean, you'll these, you'll look at these like extreme, uh, liberal comedians that want to shit all over like religion. And I'm not a religious guy, I'm, I'm agnostic, I don't, you know, I don't give a shit make fun of religion, but I also understand that that is a very precious thing and very, very important to some people. Now, if so, you can't say don't make fun of my, you know, my lamb, my God, but I will make fun of the thing that you, your God, you know you have to decide, you know and it's. And also like, if you don't like it, just leave. You know you don't have to fucking like nobody goes to restaurants, they don't like just to complain about it, right, well, who?
Speaker 2:said it Dave Chappelle.
Speaker 1:You clicked on my face, you know when I went to Tosh.0, I remember him starting to talk about abortion and this lady in the front of in front of us, she just she got so pissed she got up and she left and she left loudly yeah, yeah, but at least she left, instead of sitting there telling him how he's wrong and not to say things, I probably knew better, I've had people jump on sage and take a swing at me before.
Speaker 6:No, yeah, yeah, I I have. I have one joke specifically that I call my Karen killer joke, um, because probably like three times out of 10, there's a middle-aged white woman that's going to get up and walk out of my show when I say this joke, um, and it's, it's like to me it's pretty innocuous, but I grew up Catholic, right, um, and I always say, like I wasn't, I didn't believe it wasn't for me. You know, even as a kid, I just didn't believe. You know, um, it wasn't my thing. But I do still remember to this day, the very first time we ever went to church, right, like, as soon as that priest was finished, I pulled up my pants and I'm like this is me. I mean like without a doubt, some lady will get up and yell at me, so they've taken a swing at me, or they just walk out and be like that's it. I'm out and I'm like is it always a lady?
Speaker 5:why would the women be more offended?
Speaker 6:um, I don't.
Speaker 5:That's a good question yeah, they should be more offended. Um, I don't know. That's a good question, yeah.
Speaker 6:They should be less offended. They were fucking the boys, but I'm always like I'll engage Sometimes I can get them to engage with me Cause they'll start yelling. I'm like why are you? I'm like, why are you mad at me, you know? Like I'm just stating like there's a reason. You get this joke right, like you're mad about this joke because you understand the joke, because it's a stereotype that's true, that we're all aware of. Yeah, it's not like if I said that and we've never heard about kids, priest fucking kids you'd just be confused. You wouldn't be mad, you'd just just be confused. What is he talking about? You get it because it's a real thing. So I'm like I don't fuck any kids, like the priests are the ones who should be mad at them, you know. And they're like well, I'm Catholic, this and that. I'm like well then, stop giving them money on Sundays. It's not my fucking fault, really.
Speaker 3:You're complicit in this, sir. But, people, really you're complicit in this, sir.
Speaker 6:People are that's. People are fucking dumb, you know what can you do?
Speaker 2:it's like you sign up for an explicit show and the second it gets explicit. This is a problem, yeah what are you doing?
Speaker 6:yeah, yeah, that's. You know, like I've got. I mean I I've, I've got. I did a show one time in Montana somewhere, kind of the sticks, and I've got this bit. You know, I talk about being Latino, I talk about being Mexican, my dad being illegal. I talk about all this stuff and like, do these jokes about Mexicans? This guy loves it. I do these jokes about, you know, being agnostic and shitting on religion a little, and he does not like that and after the show he has to tell me that he didn't like that. You don't make fun of god, because that stuff you said about mexicans, that was really funny and I'm like, oh so fuck mexicans. We can totally make fun of mexicans, don't make fun of my god. And that's the bull. That's that like retarded logic of you know.
Speaker 5:They can't decide what is a, you know it's okay if you're making fun of somebody else, but if you make fun of me, no, fuck you right, yeah, and that's the thing you got to decide.
Speaker 6:You're like it's either all on the table or it's all off the table interesting.
Speaker 3:It's always funny. What, what like people's trigger points. What is it that?
Speaker 5:what's something that you might say that you're going to die on exactly, and and why does it have to be comedy?
Speaker 1:I don't feel like I have one.
Speaker 2:You don't None of us.
Speaker 5:We don't have a moral line in this household.
Speaker 2:We don't have anything that we put our foot down. We're not going to joke about it.
Speaker 1:We're not joking about that.
Speaker 3:Well, that actually brings me to a question that I actually had listed out to ask you if things got a little weird, so had listed out to ask you. If things got a little weird, so I'm gonna go ahead and ask it weird. How, uh? Hot button topics what's your favorite group to piss off middle-aged white women?
Speaker 6:off the jews because they run the media, uh, so I need them, um, I need them, the uh, my favorite group, I mean honestly probably.
Speaker 3:Oh, he thought about it, it was coming out. He said yeah, maybe not.
Speaker 6:I mean realistically now. Realistically now because I lived in. I lived in Washington for a number of years and not in Seattle, but I did a lot of stuff in Seattle because that was a big comedy mecca. And then Portland was right there too, and at some point my prism of life and theirs went sideways askew very, very rapidly. And so my, my, I really enjoy poking at the extreme liberal people in Seattle or Portland and kind of gets kind of like just poking holes. But I say that. But I also love basically anyone with like an extreme point of view, anyone who can't have nuance because I do it to people on the right, anyone who can't have nuance because I do it to the people on the right also. This is like the extreme conservative people who, um, you know where they're, like fucking all media, all news is lying to you except for the one.
Speaker 6:I watch you know, whether it's msnbc or fox news, where you're like, yeah, yeah, so every single one, except for the one that makes you feel good about your retarded opinions, you, you stupid piece of shit, okay, that's great, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the one that you, the one that you happen to subscribe to their fucking app weird, that's the one, the only one that's the only one that's ever telling the world the truth yeah, yeah, yeah, you've got the.
Speaker 3:You've got the bead on on how everything is in this world. Yeah, it's funny. Every morning I watch Fox News. Every single day I watch it. But I also I'm only doing it because I like having an open mind and most of the time I'm listening to this stuff and I'm just chuckling in my head because it's fair and balanced, and you know, I love these buzzwords and keywords that we use. And look, I lean more right than left, of course, but I still can laugh at how silly they look and act, trying to say you know, fair and balanced has been gone for a long long time. There's no more fair and balanced out there. So have you ever been mistreated by media?
Speaker 6:Um, mistreated by media? Um, I don't know if I've, I don't know if I'm I have enough notoriety to have media pay attention to me. Um, how?
Speaker 2:about a local newspaper attention to me.
Speaker 6:How about a local newspaper? Um, yeah, I've, I mean, I've had people like, yeah, yeah, I mean I've had people, um, you know, not come to my shows or or, or talk, you know, talk shit about me on on online in their, in their reviews and stuff, because of what, what their thoughts are, yeah, it's again, it's fine, like I don't care, because I, those are people who, who, no matter what I do, I'm not, they're not going to be my fans, you know. So at a certain point it's like it what do I care? You know you're not a fun person. I don't want you at my show. You know you stay the fuck away from me. Yeah, please, so, please, so, yeah, I mean I've. I don't know what's unfairly, though, right, like, if their stupid opinion have it, I don't care. So I don't know if it's unfair.
Speaker 2:That's a good outlook, though. Seriously, that's a great outlook. That's the best way to look at it. Yeah, I'm not going to change your mind.
Speaker 3:Just get away from me, either like me or hate me, but get the fuck out Again.
Speaker 6:like I said, what's their opinion going to do? Their opinion is going to influence other people who already don't like me. You're not going to. Someone who enjoys my comedy is not going to read that article and be like well, actually now I don't like DC either. It doesn't fucking matter. Like I said, it's just the confirmation bias people are looking for.
Speaker 5:So yeah, that's an interesting point. People that go on there and write they're trying to talk to the people that have the same opinion of them.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, so they're not changing anything.
Speaker 5:They're just vomiting nonsense into the void.
Speaker 3:So you said you have a girlfriend. I do. How long have you been together?
Speaker 6:Oh, pushing pushing five years, four or five years, something like that.
Speaker 3:Four or five years Does she go to your shows?
Speaker 6:No, why not?
Speaker 3:She's a fan.
Speaker 6:What'd you say? I said she's not a fan.
Speaker 3:She's writing on blogs and she doesn't. She's not going to offend, she's not going to get anybody to like you, that's doesn't.
Speaker 6:she's not going to offend, she's not going to get anybody to like you, that's for sure. Yeah, no, she, uh no, she hasn't got me. We've been together long enough. She doesn't come to the show. She's seen it, so she's got. She gets an ass load of me at home. She doesn't want to fucking she didn't want to come.
Speaker 3:An hour of watching you shit on stage too yeah, so do you have any children?
Speaker 6:no children that I uh pay for, just just children I pay to get rid of. Wow.
Speaker 3:Gets another day. That was a good one.
Speaker 6:No, I know no kids. Luckily no kids. That was planned. I didn't, never didn't want kids, you know, still don't want kids.
Speaker 3:We got a whole shit ton of them. Oh boy do I. With four wives comes a lot of children.
Speaker 4:As it stands.
Speaker 3:Right now I am one point five children per wife. Jeez, that's my, that's my math, how that works. So you, you do, and I made a note, but I wrote it, I enunciated that very well. I wrote it down instead of putting it on my notes to talk about, but there was something about you and reproductive rights.
Speaker 6:I do have some hard takes on reproductive rights and how we should, we should, we should handle that in this country. Um, I'm all for it. Please share. Well, first of all, I think, um, I think the major thing is we just have people having kids who are irresponsible. I think the first thing we should do is this is this is big picture. Uh, you gotta, we gotta walk people into this slowly, but my plan is we just put a sterilization agent in the municipal water system and then hold on, I'm not a monster. And then if someone wants to have a child like like they, they fill an application like you know, like they're like a loan application, you know we do a credit check, where you're looking at your finances.
Speaker 5:Do you have a good house?
Speaker 6:What's your? Well, yeah, what's your. What's your FICO score? Like, well, how can you? All I want to know is that I'm not going to be paying for this shitty kid. You know, for your shitty kid is my point and everyone's like, oh, but you know, I, I, I, I love my kid, I want my kid. I'm like great, I want a Lexus.
Speaker 1:That doesn't mean I can. That doesn't mean I can afford to take care of one.
Speaker 6:Because I guarantee you in 14 years my Lexus won't grow up, develop a meth habit, break in your apartment or replace Agent 2 either. So Fuck you and your kids. I don't think.
Speaker 3:And if you need me, I'll be in my Lexus. Bitch, I'll be in my Lexus, yeah.
Speaker 5:You know I like that as someone who works with who's, someone who works in child care.
Speaker 3:She's your Karen. Right now, she works in a child care.
Speaker 5:No, I were, I 100 percent agree.
Speaker 3:No, no, I'm just kidding, you do. Amanda can take a joke and give a joke with the best of them, so yeah, you're not going to hurt her feelings with those. Now, let's, let's get back to. Let's get back to putting something in the water. How would we do that? What would be like our first step?
Speaker 6:Well, you know, you just, you just get a sterilization agent that you put, you know, just put it in. You know they put fluoride in the municipal water. You just put a sterilization agent so no one can have kids. Uh, and then you know so you only don't have a kid. You give them the, you give them the antidote. Yeah, then you can have you know once they fill out the application and they're approved then they can get the antidote.
Speaker 6:You can have the kid, but you know, sometimes it's like sorry, buddy, you know, like you got a 520 credit score. You know no children for you, you don't. It's like sorry, buddy, you know, like you got a 520 credit score.
Speaker 5:No children for you. You don't own a car and you still live in a basement. I don't think you need to be having children right now.
Speaker 3:I think we go even further Unplanned and you know, unplanned pregnancies by someone that shouldn't be having kids it's jail time.
Speaker 2:I think you should also have to take a test. You should just like a written test. Like an IQ test. No, not necessarily an IQ test, just a written test.
Speaker 3:I'm going to tell you, between you and your ex, my grandkids aren't here we don't have grandchildren, I don't know which one would fail the test.
Speaker 5:But between one of the two of you we ain't got two kids.
Speaker 2:I can guarantee you one of them wasn't going to pass. I'd like to say it's not me.
Speaker 3:I don't know that, I agree. I would like to say that too, as you're my son, I'd like to. Good news is we don't have to figure that out now, we don't she gone? Yeah, about that. That's a different story.
Speaker 6:That's a whole different podcast altogether. So how did you start into comedy? Oh, the usual way, you know bad parents, teenage angst, a metapropensity towards alcoholism.
Speaker 5:But how did that wander into you stumbling on stage and talking to people about all those problems?
Speaker 6:Well, I was. So I was living in. I grew up in long beach, california, and I was living I was still living there at the time and there was this place. Uh, this is bar. I use a sports bar. I used to go to and they did like an open mic on tuesday nights and I used to go watch, just just watch the show, and I'd hang out with the guy afterwards who ran the mic and shoot the shit with him and drink and he's like you, he goes. You got to try this and I go, I'm on or no, and he goes. Next week I'm going to sign you up. So next week I did it and got bit by the bug and started doing it more. And then since then, I've been making hundreds of dollars a year.
Speaker 6:Such a great living.
Speaker 3:What's your if you had to look back over your 17 year plus or it's been longer than that. That's just the yeah. But if you look back over your comedy career, there's going to be two questions. That comes with this. You'll be able to figure out the second one pretty easy. Where can do you remember specifically where you had your best set and what made it your best set?
Speaker 6:Um, yeah, yes, yeah, I do. Um, I'm well. There's a couple of things spring to mind. I would say my best set ever was at a um club actually in Bozeman, montana. Um, it's a club I performed at a couple of times and it's actually the club where I filmed my special Um and I filmed it there because of this set.
Speaker 6:But I used to tour with a buddy of mine and we did a duo show, we did like a co-headliner show and we did this club and we had a great show and then I headlined it again by myself at a year later and I sold out two shows back to back in a night and I I mean this room is like a little kill box. It's small, small ceilings. The audience is right there at the foot of the stage. I mean they're up against it. Um, and it's a great, great little venue and I just I mean there were times where I literally was like guys, I need you to stop laughing because I have to keep. I have more jokes to tell, damn it. I mean just people like snorting, uh, that that. Or I did a show at a brewery in santa ana, california, which is all beaners. Santa ana is just all fucking. It's all people stealing white people jobs.
Speaker 6:Uh, and he's in the club everyone, it's okay they, uh and they latino crowds love me because I do a bunch of shit about material about Latinos and like a lady literally passed out in the front row laughing, she literally passed out which was like that was like a real, you know, key moment in my comedy career.
Speaker 3:Did you stop or did you keep going?
Speaker 6:I just laughed someone to death.
Speaker 5:So you kept going yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the show must go on.
Speaker 2:Somebody get that bitch a doctor. We're going to keep it rolling.
Speaker 5:All right, who flew in?
Speaker 3:here, yeah, so all right. Conversely, your worst set, and where was it at, and why?
Speaker 2:And was it at and why? Oh, it wasn't a clean show.
Speaker 6:I did a show in where the fuck was that? That's here's the thing about comedians. We are broken people and asking me to remember my best shows, I can think of like one or two. Ask me remember my worst shows. I can of like one or two. Ask me remember my worst shows? I can think of a million, because we remember the worst shit, because the the good stuff. You're like it comes and goes. You're like that was. I should have done better. There's always better, right, but the bad stuff is you obsess over it, replayed a thousand times um, I don't.
Speaker 6:Well, it depends on what you want to hear by bad. Bad as in, like it went poorly, or bad as in the craziest scenario, because we did a show um somewhere in idaho maybe I don't remember, but it was literally just a Nazi like white supremacist skinhead bar.
Speaker 6:And my buddy and I it was me and my buddy, who was a Korean dude and we walked in, quite, the duo Yep, yeah, and we walk in and it's like record scratch. My buddy, tony, was like this gregarious dude He'd talk to. We walk in and it's like record scratch. Like my buddy Tony was like this gregarious dude, he talked to anyone.
Speaker 6:And he's like hey guys, you know and this guy just turns around, looks up, up and down and just straight up fucking hits us with the Ziegheil Like oh no, Okay, cool, Cool, cool, cool. We are going to die tonight. Holy hell. The best part was another comedian was meeting us there and it was this black dude. Oh no, so it's like you know, I'm Mexican, a black dude, a Korean guy.
Speaker 5:I was going to say walk into a bar, that's a joke.
Speaker 6:But we during everyone else's set the other comics were like trying to fend off people who were trying to rush the stage with pool cues and stuff. Um, it was a. It was a really insane night. And then these guys, these big, big farm, like ranch, like just cornbread, fucking kids from Alaska were like oil rigger guys. I mean they were huge kids. They both come up like hey, you motherfuckers were really funny, you're with us tonight. If you got any trouble, don't worry about it.
Speaker 6:And like they fucking throw back their coat and they both have no on their side and I'm like, hey, listen, uh, I'm from the hood, like that's cool, but also I. That makes me feel less comfortable now. Um, now there's gonna be like a gunfight in this place just because I came here to tell a couple yuck yucks. Um, so yeah, that was a nightmare show.
Speaker 1:Sitting under the pool table as the shots get fired yeah.
Speaker 2:Since we're going down this route, what are your top five comedians Ever? Ever Living bed doesn't matter.
Speaker 6:Number one is Norm Macdonald.
Speaker 3:Good choice so many times 100%.
Speaker 6:Norm Macdonald is just the GOAT in my opinion, probably top five. I'd probably put Chappelle in there. I am actually a huge Daniel Tosh fan. I love. I think he's a really underrated comedian because he stopped doing as much comedy and started doing his show. He ran the world for a while. Yeah he's, he's fantastic.
Speaker 1:Do you like Cat Williams?
Speaker 6:No, not a huge Cat Williams. I mean I, he's alright, he's not my flavor. Specifically, I might say Damon Wayans In the top five. Damon Wayans, um, and the top five, damon Wayans is a phenomenal standup comedian. A lot of people forget how good he is. That guy might, might make it. I'm just naming it. I, I'm trying to. Top five is tough, but I'm just naming people who come to mind Um, uh, david tell. Uh, he's good, david tell. Uh, he's good, david tell. And yeah, you're a Bill Burr fan. I do like Bill Burr a lot. I like Bill Burr's great. Um, bill Burr might make it in there. Maybe Chad Daniels might make it in there. It's funny.
Speaker 2:It's insane to me you haven't said Eddie Murphy, richard Pryor, louie you know, um here's's, here's.
Speaker 6:The thing with those guys is like louis louis is great, um, but I think louis kind of for louis very good. I don't know if he'd make my top five. Um his, I think he's unrelatable for me. Like I, he was just like an older married guy. He is an acquired taste, I guess it's like it, just like I get it was funny, it's good writing, but also it wasn't anything I related to. Sure, um eddie murphy and richard pryor, both phenomenal comics, but also um, it's it's, it's not, it's, it's hard, because it's comedy is rarely timeless. Yeah, so you know, a lot of the comedy that's really great now is going to just the delivery, the way the way comedy is delivered, the things you talk about, what's happening, it's all, it's all very of the time, you know.
Speaker 2:I guess it is era driven like sports, basketball, football, like mj is the best but lebron is statistically better it is. It is a bit as a shit question, sorry dude no, no, it's, it's.
Speaker 6:I mean it's a, it's a it's. It's a tough thing to answer, but yeah, I think, I think people uh look at it. It's hard to look at it like that because you know you can't really like. You go even you turn on like like raw and Eddie Murphy's in like this red leather jumpsuit. It's silly and ridiculous. You're like I don't know if I can, you know, like it's just, it's just tough. I mean there's great comedy in there, but comedy is rarely stand up comedy especially, I think, is rarely timeless.
Speaker 3:It's funny because I had to introduce Raw and Delirious to my wife, Amanda, because she's she wasn't alive when those came out. I don't think no, and like I was mildly embarrassed for how much I sold it to her embarrassed for how much I sold it to her, I'm like this is the funniest shit you're ever going to see Sit down, get ready pat down and then he comes out in his red leather.
Speaker 2:You know just his ass just shaking, when he it was embarrassing and he's talking about Brooke Shields and she's like who the hell is Brooke Shields? Yeah?
Speaker 3:Norton, norton, yeah, like all of it, and she didn't know any of the people.
Speaker 5:You don't get the jokes because it's the references to current events.
Speaker 3:Now I will go back and watch some George Carlin. I'll go watch some Richard Pryor just because it's nostalgic for me. But you know, if I were going to go and just sit and watch it for the first time, I don't think I would enjoy it.
Speaker 6:I think you're right about that. That's. That's kind of the problem and I mean I'm old. I'm I'm old enough to remember seeing, you know, my dad had the eddie murphy delirious and raw on vhs and I watched him as a kid and um carlin and stuff like that, and you know carlin has, carlin was like a really good orator and he had some really interesting. He was a smart guy, you know, and he was very, had some very interesting um thoughts. But also keep in mind how young comedy was. Then. Comedy was still a relatively new art form. People hadn't figured out how to make it's best. Yet it was like, you know, it was like the, it was like the nba before they were letting black people play right like it was it was as good as it could be but you didn't know how good
Speaker 3:you know, what else the other could be, so then you let them in and you're like, ah, there goes the game.
Speaker 6:These tricep guys can jump. What are they going to do with it? Now he's fucking wearing Converse and donkey. Oh shit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, thank you all for watching the last episode of my wife, my ex-wife, and yeah, what about I'm going to go the other side of that? Who are some comics that you can't stand? That people? What about I'm going to go the other side of that? Who are some comics that you can't stand? That you, that people? Well, I'm going to go one better. Oh, that everybody loves, that you don't think are all really all that great. And if you don't want to answer it because of your line of work, I understand, I'll tell you mine, I'm not a huge fan of Theo Vaughn. No, I love Theo Vaughn. I am not a huge fan. Matter of fact, I'm not a fan at all of Dane Cook. I don't know why anyone thinks he's funny.
Speaker 2:Cat Williams not funny, Amy Schumer. She doesn't do comedy anymore, right? Well, she shouldn't.
Speaker 3:She sucks Because for a minute she was funny. Now she's not funny at all. Well, she tried to do.
Speaker 6:Here's the thing about Amy Schumer that people don't understand um, when amy schumer first was getting big, she was her and anthony jeselnik were together and anthony jeselnik actually used to punch up a lot of her jokes and if you listen to her early stuff it sounds like like a lot of his jokes. You know what I didn't think about if you listen to her later stuff, after they broke up the jokes. Her jokes are way different and they're not near as good well, she went the whole like her body thing.
Speaker 2:She went the whole sex route. She did like what nikki glazier does, she just did it real bad, real bad, I don't know for a minute she was okay well, that's probably when she was with anthony, like it was probably funny when she first a minute she was okay.
Speaker 6:Well, that's probably when she was with Anthony, it was probably funny when she first came out and she was first kind of getting hot. Not even getting hot, just kind of getting notoriety as a comedian way before a show and stuff like that. Yeah, she was more of a one-liner. Dark, very dark. You go listen to that stuff now and it sounds like oh, I can tell who was helping to write these jokes.
Speaker 3:Amanda was saying it when you were talking just a minute ago that we went to see Anthony Jeselnik in. Where were we? Vegas and one of the best shows I've ever been to and I, like him.
Speaker 3:I had no idea who he was until those roasts came out and man, just his delivery and the way he just doesn't seem to give a fuck what you think that makes him so good. Now it seems to me like maybe he's dialed that back a little bit today, just a little bit, but he's still. He's still my dark horse. I really, I really enjoy his work.
Speaker 6:I appreciate what he does. He has a lane and he's arguably the best at that thing. The, the and this is not an indictment of him, this is more an indictment him. This is more an indictment again of just comedy in general. But like when you do comedy, and you do comedy long enough and you do comedy at a certain proficiency or level, um, my problem with listening to someone like Anthony Jeselnik is that I can get to the punchline before he does. Yeah, so it's, I'm I'm beating myself to the funny part and robbing myself of enjoying it.
Speaker 4:Because like.
Speaker 6:I because, like my mind, just works in punchlines and works and jokes. So like you start, you start, you're, you're disassembling what he's doing as soon as he's getting the setup, and usually you may not get a bullseye, but you're going to get close.
Speaker 5:You're going to know.
Speaker 6:okay, this is what this is tearing down, and every joke of his is a dark turn, so you know where, once you figure out his rhythm, you're like, oh, he's going to be here, or he's going to be here, so, and but I mean, but I do, I mean, he's hilarious.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you know another name that I think started off really strong and this is going to get mixed reactions in the room. Is it Kevin Hart? Kevin Hart, I think I don't like him. I thought he was great, but then he became too commercial.
Speaker 2:Yep and you gotta see what. What's the thing you always say? What is it he over overexposed in my opinion he.
Speaker 3:I think somebody in his life needs to teach him to say no.
Speaker 2:Well, he brought it back with the, the brady tom brady's roast that was the first time that you saw vintage Kevin Hart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I'll even go one more step. I don't think Joe Rogan was funny until the last five or six years.
Speaker 2:His early stuff. I didn't think that was funny at all. I didn't even watch him and Mencia when they got into their beef which I think gave Rogan his spotlight, at least his 15 seconds of fame and he parlayed that into what he is now, boy, did he? But I tried, boy, I tried, and I was like I'm just not into his old stuff. His new stuff I'll sit and watch, but his old stuff, like you said, it was about current events and it was so stuck on current events. I didn't know shit about bill clinton stop telling me about it yeah, yeah, I'm 27, I can tell you all about him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and cigars, yeah, yeah the.
Speaker 6:uh, yeah, you know the way I always look at it is like I, I never. I never say anyone is not funny, I just just say they're not for me Because I mean, you know, listen, you may not like I'm not an Amy Schumer fan, but the lady sold out a bazillion shows over the years. Is she not funny? Well, she's not funny to me, but those people think she's hilarious. That's a great perspective. So that's why you know, when people try to cancel Dave Ch I, that's why you know like when, when they, when people try to cancel Dave Chappelle and everyone's like every fucking virtue or signal warrior on the Facebook's like ah, he's never been funny. I'm like really, the guy, the billionaire comedian who's been doing it for 30 years, selling out shows and arenas across the country, has never been funny it doesn't need to work ever again, nor does the rest of his family.
Speaker 6:It's the most, it's the most you know disingenuous brain dead thing to for someone to try to. You know you can not like someone, that's fine, but to be like they're not funny, it's like. I think that's. You're phrasing that incorrectly, yeah.
Speaker 3:And that's actually a good point, because I you know here I'm sitting just theo vaughn's not funny.
Speaker 6:No, he is, because oh my god jams loves him. I freaking love theo vaughn. But I I've worked with theo vaughn, I opened for him before. Oh my god he's. He's a very nice guy, he's. He's a guy that, like his, he's got some stand-up bits I like, but him as a person and him on his podcast. I don't think there's much funnier than that. But I like that much more than I like his stand-up.
Speaker 2:Really Same thing with Bert Kreischer. I'll watch a movie, Bert Kreischer's in. I'll listen to a podcast Two Bears, One Cave. I listen to it today. I like him like that. I'm not going to sit for an hour and watch your netflix special where you snort and take your shirt off yeah, I'm not I don't love me.
Speaker 3:I don't like your comedy.
Speaker 1:I like your personality, yeah right yeah, I love everything about theovon, everything really he's very, very.
Speaker 6:We did this show. And then he we're at the merch table after everyone left and we're just like bs and and he gets on the table and curls up in a little ball, like in the fetal position, and he just starts rolling around on his back. He's like man, you ever just feel like a baby.
Speaker 1:You know, like you just want to be a baby and just roll and I'm like I man, I don't know. Oh my God, have you ever like I love his tick because he puts his podcast out on his tick, tocks and just like when he's with guests and shit and they just like sometimes just don't even know how to answer him and I really feel like he, like you just said, you know he rolled around, he's just really like that.
Speaker 3:He just thinks of weird shit. And yeah, yeah, yeah he. He does that to kind of control you it. To a degree, I think he wants to. Um, that's how he's. He's captivating you because while he's doing it you're thinking what the fuck is he doing? And it works for him. He pulls it off.
Speaker 5:So or that's just the random things that pops into his brain.
Speaker 6:Yeah, like thoughts with jams it is very hard to know where the real Theo Vaughn and where the act ends and begins. Yeah, and there's people like I've heard people who know him intimately, like have known him, or very close friends with him, that are just like I don't know either, like Like I don't know. Sometimes you'll say something like I don't know if that's a real thing, like that you did or didn't do, I don't know, and that's just who he is. That's funny.
Speaker 3:I love it. So, on a different note, tell us about kill Stan and what it is your inspiration for doing it, and just give us kind of your comic book background yeah, yeah, so I am a huge comic book fan.
Speaker 6:Uh, if you can see behind me, this is all boxes of comic books I was wondering, what those were yeah, uh, huge comic book fan always have been. Um, I love the medium. I've always wanted to write comic books. I've written a million scripts over the years, uh, but finally decided to just invest in it and, uh, published my own comic book uh or uh, late last year and the first issue of kill stan released in november, and it's been going gangbusters, where we sold out our first two print runs.
Speaker 3:We've got number two coming soon.
Speaker 6:It's, yeah, it's uh. The story is about a guy who, uh, wants to end his own life. So he does it through vigilantism. Um, so it's basically suicide by vigilantism, you know, and uh, that's, that's kind of the the pitch, that really, it's a it's a character piece about loss, trauma and the crazy things we do and we feel like we have nothing left to live for.
Speaker 3:Sounds much like being a comedian.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I did draw from some personal experience.
Speaker 3:So it's interesting that the character wants to have suicide by vigilanteism. But he must not be very good at that part, because he's still alive.
Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah, so we, we meet. Issue number one, we meet Stan. He's very uh new at this thing. Uh, he's even confused as to how he's lasted, you know, more than a single night. And uh, it kind of ramps up from there but the yeah, he wants to end it all. And then, you know, he kind of gets uh pulled into this scenario where the neighborhood which he's helping, uh, by virtue of what he's doing, starts to revere him as a hero but he selfishly wants to die, where they think it's this altruistic thing which also brings more con, personal conflict, of feeling like shit because you know, he'll be letting them down and yeah, so it's kind of, uh, like I said, very much a character piece about, um, you know the way, the way people feel about themselves and, uh, the world around them do you have people bring you that comic and ask you to sign it?
Speaker 6:yeah, all the time. I mean mostly when they buy it. Uh, you know I do a lot of conventions and they usually want it signed. Super cool, that is cool, that's really cool, yeah, so yeah, it's been good. I you know it's uh, we're about to launch the kickstarter for number two so you can follow us at. Infernono Earth is the website. There's no com anymore, it's just Inferno Earth, or Inferno Earth on Instagram or Inferno Earth on Facebook. We're everywhere. But number two is coming out soon. And yeah, it's been. I mean, we've been selling it like crazy, so it's been very, very happy. I couldn't imagine it going any better than it has been.
Speaker 3:That's awesome. How long does it take to plan and then write a comic book?
Speaker 6:Depends on what you're writing. I would say For me, I was able to plan and write this particular. It's 10 issues. I probably planned it and wrote it. I mean actual time sitting and spending on it. I mean not that long, maybe a couple of weeks, um, really like nailing down what I wanted to do, that a couple more weeks writing the scripts, okay, and even now we're still, as I go through and get them to the artists, I'm tweaking them a little little, editing, but yeah. So then I sat on the scripts for a couple years during COVID, but then finally last year I just hired an artist and started doing it and decided to self-publish. And here we are.
Speaker 2:How are you Jams doodles if you ever need a little bit of artist work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was going to ask you if you do your own artwork, but I figured that out when you said no, no, I do the covers and, uh, so I do.
Speaker 6:I do all the cover art myself and then I actually so I'll do like the page layouts, I'll do some breakdowns for the artist and then he's just phenomenal a guy named felipeera. He's out of Brazil, fantastic artist. He'll go through and do the finished art and he's way more proficient and much, much better than I ever could dream to be.
Speaker 6:So I imagine that takes someone that specializes in drawing comic art versus just an artist, right, because that would take a special gene, in my opinion yeah, yeah, I mean I don't know, I I've got to assume he's could do other forms of art because he's a very, very talented guy, uh, but he's, his comic book art's amazing. His sequential stuff is just killer and um the. So, yeah, we've, we've. I hope to keep, not hope to. We're going to keep working together on stuff after this too. But yeah, he's just just, I mean, amazing. He was someone's going to find him, like Marvel Comics is going to find him and pay him way more than I am.
Speaker 3:So then you're not going to find somebody else and jams with her doodles. That's when she'll become important, you're coming up to the majors.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh gosh.
Speaker 3:So I have a question for you. I know that's what we're doing here Questions. We're nearing the end of our time together here, dees. All right, we do a segment each week that I think you would actually fit in very well with, all right. And we want to see if you can touch your nipples together. No, I'm just kidding. Um, we do a, a relationship advice with ams and jams is what it's called, where we try and save relationships. Would you like to be a part of that?
Speaker 6:yeah, I'd love to. I've I've ruined so many relationships. Let's do some more.
Speaker 3:I'm on my fourth marriage. Let's give it a try. So I'm going to roll the intro now, and then we'll run some lives here we go.
Speaker 5:It's the most wonderful time of this goddamn podcast, did you?
Speaker 1:really think this was going to be a feel-good segment, are you?
Speaker 5:insane like me. Welcome to Relationship Advice with Ams and Jams. I see red, red, oh red, come to your head. Well, you asked for our advice. We just hope you're ready for brutal honesty, and I say it every week, brutal it shall be.
Speaker 3:Dear Ams and Jams and Dees and Dees. My friend was visiting and staying with my husband and I recently. The other day my husband and I were sitting around the table doing some work. My friend randomly came up to me and gave me a big, long hug, saying I need some love. We hug for a minute and as she walks away, well, my husband lifts his arms up towards her, inviting her for a hug. They hug for a good minute, rubbing each other's backs, and then part ways.
Speaker 3:I don't know why, but it really bothered me, partly because of the length of the hug, partly because of the fact that my husband initiated the hug, which seemed unnecessary, and partly because I've noticed how he sometimes checks her out. She dresses quite I think she meant to say provocatively, but she said proactively, which could be the same thing. She dresses quite proactively, in my opinion. She says walking around the house in booty shorts and a sports bra or crop top, however, that's her style. So I've never really said anything to her. The best kind of roommate. I felt like it was inappropriate for him to initiate a hug, especially when, after she made the comment I need some love. I don't think his intention was to make me uncomfortable, because we've never had any jealousy or insecurity issues until now.
Speaker 3:But for some reason the situation really bothered me Ams and jams. Am I acting a fool, or was this gesture actually a bit inappropriate? I am not a jealous type whatsoever, and there are very few situations in our years together that I felt this uncomfortable I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think if I was at ronnie's house and I did that, kyle by the way yeah, ronnie's a girl, and then there's k, her husband, and I feel like he would. He would do the same thing and it wouldn't be a big deal at all.
Speaker 5:Yeah, if you that's much off If you feel like, like he feels like he's just supporting you and your friendship. I think this person's putting a lot of thought into a hug.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 5:It's a lot of energy to put into?
Speaker 3:I don't know. So, dees, oh please. Energy to put into? I don't know so. Deece, oh please. You're sitting around the house. Ah, sorry, let's just say let's play it this way you come to our house and I'm in here and blake lively, let's say, is I think I know who that is.
Speaker 6:Uh is that. That's ryan reynolds wife got it. Okay, I just address women by their husbands.
Speaker 3:That it's we can almost stop the podcast right there. That was the best thing you said, the entire podcast and everything's been great. So I'm sitting there and I hug blake lively or I ask are you indecent a relationship now?
Speaker 5:No, he's there watching. I'm trying to understand this.
Speaker 3:He's here.
Speaker 5:He's here watching. Oh, back to that cuckolding thing.
Speaker 3:Cuckolding. Okay, he's. He Wait a minute. I think I'm somehow screwed out of this, so you would be okay with it.
Speaker 1:I'm confused. I'm confused, yeah, I'm really confused, like, why would you bring Blake Lively into this If Greg and Stacey who's hugging who at this point?
Speaker 2:There's the next door neighbors. Their name are Greg and Stacey.
Speaker 4:Amanda and Pop.
Speaker 2:If Greg and Stacey came over here and Stacey said I just need some love and hugged you and then those two embraced, how would you feel about that?
Speaker 5:I would ask them if they wanted a room.
Speaker 3:Okay, those two embraced. How would you feel about that? I would ask them if they wanted a room.
Speaker 5:Okay, that wasn't a good example. Yes, it was. I'm saying if you're in a secure relationship, why?
Speaker 3:are you worried about my house?
Speaker 6:I would move out I mean, in this scenario, I feel like it's the lady's fault she brought, she has her friend, her clearly hot friend, her stripper friend.
Speaker 5:And then it's Matt when her husband's looking.
Speaker 6:Right, right, I mean. It's like you don't. It's like bringing home a fucking Hand-lit tequila to an alcoholic and be like we already drank it. What did you expect to happen? You brought a whore into your house.
Speaker 3:And she's hugging everybody. Don't worry about the hug that happened while you're there. Think about what's going on while you're at work, honey.
Speaker 6:Right, yeah, she's offering free hugs.
Speaker 5:She's just needing some love. Come on, that's in front of you.
Speaker 2:This is the girlfriend's fault, the wife's fault, whoever she is, whoever brought the friend?
Speaker 5:It's her fault. It's nothing to be. I don't think you should be worried about it.
Speaker 3:The guy lifting his arms.
Speaker 1:Yeah, give me a hug. I don't know, I just see.
Speaker 5:I see that as being like supportive to the friend, assuming they have a long term friendship. If not, why did you move her into your house? House and stop saying we don't have an insecure relationship because you do one more question oh my god, I'm ready to move on.
Speaker 3:Is it okay if she's running around in sports bras in the house?
Speaker 1:if you don't like, it's hard to stop.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean I would say it's okay, but yeah, yeah these days.
Speaker 2:Hit it on the head. Yes, you're upset.
Speaker 3:Uh, dear ams and jams, we didn't help them. By the way, dear ams and Jams, we didn't help them. By the way, dear Ams and Jams, I have this friend who I've known for seven years. Oh, for the longest time she's been complaining about going out on first dates, only met through a dating app and getting ghosted or the classic. This isn't going to work out. There are two main reasons, actually. The first is that she's a pretty hefty lady and all of her profile pics are of her from deceptive angles and lots of filters. The filters also cover her constantly greasy hair. She really, really that's two reallys has an issue with showering. You need to talk to your friends.
Speaker 5:So it's not just that she has greasy hair, hers is dirty.
Speaker 3:I was cursed with a very sensitive nose. Not only does she just smell bad in general, but I can tell that a good bit of that scent is coming from down below.
Speaker 3:Oh no, now somebody sent this into the podcast. She just constantly smells like vagina. She told me this story of her taking a guy home from the bar one time. Things were getting hot and heavy and clothes started coming off. Long story short, before they could go any further, he took a bathroom break and made a run for it out the window. That's got to be pretty bad. Guessing the smell down there is what she attributes that to Pungent. Essentially, not only does she catfish, she just reeks really bad. Well then, tell her Gams or jams. How can I tell her? Or do I even bother Go to the ER, deese? You get this one first. How can I tell her? Or do I even bother Go to the ER, deese?
Speaker 6:you get this one first. Well, I apparently you know these people have never heard of Dominican guys because they'll fuck anything. I mean, that island is full of AIDS. What's the worst they're going to get? Come on, I mean, listen, I have been very drunk before, men have been very drunk before and they will have sex with anything. At that point I find it hard to believe. Like, don't expect a date is the point. Ladies, if you just want to get laid, just go to a bar and tell them you would like to get laid.
Speaker 5:AMS says that that's not 100% accurate the statement was that we could walk outside and say I want someone to take us out and someone would take us out.
Speaker 2:That's not how that works. Hold on, if these two ladies walked outside the front door right now and yelled loud enough someone, take me to dinner. They would hear a door open. A light switch would come on. Tell me I'm wrong.
Speaker 6:Yeah, someone At the very least. There's some drug-addled drifter passing through town.
Speaker 3:That would hear you.
Speaker 6:Someone. They would have a lot of money to take you somewhere nice, you might be able to dine and dash yeah to some secluded woods, and you know.
Speaker 2:Maybe your dinner. There's a mattress out here and there's not a sheet. Ugh yeah.
Speaker 5:That's what you guys are worried about. Is the sheet out of all of that.
Speaker 3:It's all kind of Save this woman's relationship with her friend.
Speaker 5:Are we saving the relationship with the friend? Are we helping the friend date, because those are two separate paths, I think, is the answer to this question.
Speaker 4:Those are not. Those paths are not synchronous.
Speaker 1:You need to tell your friend that she needs to check in.
Speaker 2:How you say your hoo-ha things, how you say it Be like you.
Speaker 5:you've come to me with your dating concerns and I would like to help you with a makeover. Let me spread your legs. Let me get you a makeover. I'm gonna send you to jams. We're gonna get you a nice wax and cleaning it's gonna stink, but I got you okay, you guys are missing that.
Speaker 3:You gotta come right out saying what in the fuck?
Speaker 6:I'm an esthetician and I do brilliant just because she's obviously lonely right, right, and she's not getting the sexual conquest she wants. What if you just get her a great Dane?
Speaker 5:oh wow and a jar of peanut butter so this?
Speaker 6:no, that doesn't work, because I heard about this trick where you can trick a dog into oral sex using peanut butter. I heard about that, right, but I think I was doing it wrong, because I don't know what to do with the peanut butter once I'm sucking the dog's dick what the hell do I do with this jar? I'm just in a peanut butter and be like what happened here.
Speaker 5:What's this for? I don't understand.
Speaker 3:Have you seen? Let Sleeping Dogs Lie.
Speaker 6:Is that a no? Is that a four, though?
Speaker 3:It is. Well, it's Bobcat Goldthwait wrote it and put it out. If that tells you anything, based on that joke, go watch that movie. It's worth the two hours of your life. It is so worth it. I'm going to laugh on the way home. Jams, what are you telling this girl?
Speaker 2:Reeks of vagina in here.
Speaker 3:Gotta fix it hey, listen, how do you have? Why don't you two role play?
Speaker 5:this you know what.
Speaker 3:Here's the deal.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking of a number between one and six million, just pretend like I do, go ahead, no, I just want to do the makeover thing.
Speaker 5:You're like hey, I want to treat you to a spa day.
Speaker 2:I don't want to go to the spa how are you gonna get the bar of soap?
Speaker 5:there, you're gonna let somebody else do it. You're a lot of water, a lot of water do the work you're gonna say help it that fixes it for a second I'm your friend, I love you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think I understand why men leave well jamie, thank you for telling me why do they leave?
Speaker 5:because you smell bad. What you for telling me why do they leave?
Speaker 1:Because you smell bad what I smell? Bad Kinda, what do I smell? Like then Vagina.
Speaker 2:My vagina stinks. How long has it?
Speaker 5:stunk and your hair is greasy. How long has my hair been greasy? And you catfish the fuck out of people.
Speaker 2:I'm a catfish.
Speaker 1:We're not friends anymore. I don't think this friendship's gonna work.
Speaker 5:I'm just friends Anyway.
Speaker 3:We didn't help this lady either. Dear Amza Jams, I've been married to my husband for seven years. That's two seven years. We have three small kids together. Our marriage has been uneventful so far.
Speaker 3:It works a lot and doesn't have much time for me and the kids Boy. That's a great statement. So at this point I've gotten used to it. I figure once the kids get a bit older it will get better. Well, anyway, yesterday I needed to use his phone because mine was acting up. I was on the phone with the phone company and got bored and started scrolling through his text messages. Bad fucking idea. I noticed that he'd reached out to his ex-girlfriend two years ago. How far back.
Speaker 5:How long were you on the phone with the?
Speaker 3:message saying that he's been thinking about her and the time they had together and how it brought a smile to his face. He's in trouble, that's a bad day. She thanked him and stated she wished they'd lived closer and ever since then they have. They've been having small talk. How are the kids Happy birthdays, happy Mother's Day All through texts. They dated in college for a few years. He broke it off because he decided to move to another state. He talked to me about her fondly. She Well, obviously, oops, while she was very much married. I wasn't with him at the time. I say all of that that it's very likely that if they were ever in the same place, something could happen again. So it's bothering me a lot that they still talk after all these years. I want to confront him, but I'm not sure. I also don't want him to know that I went through his phone Ams and jams. What do I do? You're dumb.
Speaker 2:Well, you can't do both things. Don't bring up the two-year part.
Speaker 1:Don't do that well, I'm just, I'm just curious, is he? I know it's like on and off, but I mean, is he talking to her currently, or is this the last text message which two years ago I'd fucking?
Speaker 3:well, it says there's.
Speaker 5:It said that there were reached out to her two years ago and since then I think they've kept in like general contact.
Speaker 1:Well then, just I don't.
Speaker 3:You can't just let that go.
Speaker 5:I don't think that needs to be let go. I think that's the conversation.
Speaker 1:You know me, I'm not letting shit go. Excuse me, sir. What the fuck is this Right?
Speaker 2:On July 27th 2018.
Speaker 5:You know, except you're waking him up, yeah.
Speaker 1:Mother in the morning. Yeah, excuse me, 2018? I didn't even know, except you're waking him up, smothering him with a pillow Game over. Excuse me, you know, like yeah.
Speaker 3:You see where the violent one is in this house.
Speaker 6:Has this guy not heard of Snapchat?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Where they just fucking go away, disappear or deleting anything Ever.
Speaker 3:Well, maybe he feels like, since he's not deleting, it.
Speaker 5:He's not hiding it, he's not hiding it. He's not hiding it, so he's not doing anything wrong.
Speaker 1:That's a bullshit excuse to.
Speaker 2:He certainly should have deleted that text two years ago.
Speaker 1:If I didn't want you to find it, don't you think I would have deleted it? No, motherfucker, you just didn't think I was going to go through your phone. Well why else would he keep?
Speaker 3:it, it. What advice do you give Vams?
Speaker 5:A don't go through people's phones. And B maybe try and make your relationship a little bit better. Stop waiting for the kids to grow up to be with your husband.
Speaker 1:That's a good point yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, put your finger in his butt.
Speaker 5:Why is it always a finger in his butt? I don't know why, you guys? I say a pencil.
Speaker 6:Why is it never not a finger in his?
Speaker 2:butt, Deese dude, you should be on weekly.
Speaker 6:Thank you. You guys are kindred spirits, thank you. I'm not saying it doesn't have to be all the time.
Speaker 2:That's my figure. My life is we're struggling with sex.
Speaker 3:Ryan's got something in his butt right now.
Speaker 2:Right now I do. If this was a metal chair, everybody'd hear it. He's wearing a condom I've never, partake, although you know I've had, I've had ladies, so it's a weird thing. I'm a little hey, so how many knuckles have you had?
Speaker 6:None yet how do they ask?
Speaker 2:you though.
Speaker 6:But I just I feel like at my age it's too late to begin the training. You know, like like a finger in the ass at my age is like eating a happy meal from McDonald's, like no, it won't kill me. But you know you should leave it to kids where it belongs.
Speaker 3:You know, I was sneaky sneaky Dude.
Speaker 2:You've got to come back on. He was going to ask you. I have to say it, you've got to. It doesn't have to be tomorrow, it doesn't have to be next week, but you got to come back on we can make that happen how do we find you on social media?
Speaker 3:how do we find your comic book? How do we see you on the road?
Speaker 6:yeah, uh, yeah. Yeah. Easiest way for comedy, Go to dees comedycom, uh, or deescomedy on Instagram, dees Casillas on Facebook. Um, I've got uh some stuff around Texas this month and then next couple of months I'll be hitting the road again, uh, back on tour throughout, uh, hitting the road again, uh, back on tour throughout, uh, somewhere in the country. So you're gonna be coming through indiana um, probably not on the calendar now, but I've been having a couple people ask me to come through that area so I might, uh I should try to. I'm not opposed to it, I just don't have it. I don't think I do right at the moment. Um, that little weird like midwest part.
Speaker 5:I always the middle of nowhere. Nobody gives a shit about which, yeah, as unfortunate.
Speaker 6:You know, there's a lot of good stuff to do out there. I've, um, actually there's a, tell us what it is.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, well, there's a club out there in uh, it's in indianapolis summit city comedy club I went and saw me and my brother went and saw matt McCusker at this like hole in the wall comedy place and it's got I mean Norm's been there it's got pictures of everybody that's been there and I didn't know that.
Speaker 5:Is it the one that's?
Speaker 2:above a thing that's crackers. I didn't know that, like real deal, comedians came through Indiana yeah.
Speaker 6:Oh yeah, it would be. They go everywhere, believe it or not? Yeah, indiana yeah, oh yeah, it would be. They go everywhere, believe it or not? Yeah, if there's a paycheck, they'll go, you come to indiana.
Speaker 2:Dude, I'll be at your show promise me.
Speaker 6:Uh, yeah, I'll have to look into that. I'd like to. I mean, I want to get out there. I just it's, it's got to make sense and scheduling and shit. So with I kind of like two years ago I did like 187 dates on the road, which is too many uh, and I scaled back a lot last year and then this year with the comic book. It's kind of we're trying to figure out the convention circuit with touring. So we're balancing those two things. Uh, I'm trying to coordinate getting shows in the same weekends in the areas where there's comic book conventions so I can do smart right on. So it's been. It's been a little bit of a struggle trying to figure that, get that coordinated, but we'll make it happen and as you work out so yeah, if you go to my website too.
Speaker 6:I do have my special not your cup of tea up there. You can get that. It is a donation. You pay whatever you want. You get it the whole hour downloaded. It you can. You know, 10 bucks five bucks.
Speaker 3:I actually enjoy on on that. On his website he actually says it's free, just a donation. Um, he said you can pay just a dollar if you're a dick.
Speaker 6:Yeah you'll still get it. It's a dick move, but you will get it it's a dick move.
Speaker 6:So the uh. And then for the comic book, yeah, just follow me on infernoearth. That's, it's infernoearth on all platforms. That's the website. Uh, the kickstarter for number two is going live in about two weeks. Um, follow that. You can get issue number one and number two in that we've got a package deal, or you can get number one right now. Just, uh, you can order on the website and, yeah, it's uh, the comic book's like uh, kind of kind of getting hot, kind of blowing up. So we, um, we need to put one in here yeah, we do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I will order one. Actually, I'm going to put in the show notes for this week I'll put all of your contact information, so everything will be in there. So if you want to go find his dates, if you want to find his comic book, if you want to just learn more about him, I'll have everything listed right there in the show notes.
Speaker 6:Don't dig too deep. If you want to know about me, though, Just don't. Like you know, just read my bio on my website.
Speaker 2:Just surface.
Speaker 6:Just surface, it's not's not. Yeah, there's not less history, more mystery.
Speaker 3:You know, there you go. Did they tell you that at the catholic school when you were little? Yeah, that's what they.
Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah but they sent us off with and then the knuckle deep.
Speaker 3:It all. It all kind of goes together, these cassias. Thank you so much for being on the show. Yes, thank you, stick around. We'll finish this conversation on the other side of our outro. How's that sound? All right? All right, uh, hey, uh, jams. One thing you love, one thing you hate. Um, here, you want to do the intro, so you can hear no, I hate snow. It's time to talk about one thing I love.
Speaker 1:All right, I hate snow.
Speaker 3:Boy, that's topical.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I think you're supposed to start with a love. Isn't that what you guys always tell me?
Speaker 3:Well, I Not that you don't love anything I don't love much today. Well, maybe that's your thing, Brayden.
Speaker 2:one thing you love, one thing you hate. I love driving in the snow. I hate other people driving in the snow. Very topical.
Speaker 3:Honey.
Speaker 5:I had it and now I forget oh, I love getting back on schedule that the holidays and all of the nonsense are over and we can just have normal routine schedules and get back to our life as planned. I hate that we will have a five year old in four days.
Speaker 3:That's no shit, is it four days? It is four days, jesus Christ. I will tell you. What Should I do? A love or a hate?
Speaker 1:to start, Just fucking do it. How about?
Speaker 2:that Start with your hate.
Speaker 3:I love when you're in a good mood, which doesn't seem to be very fucking often, if I'm being honest. Nope, you know what I hate? Wait a minute. I hate this time in between January and spring. I want it to be nice. Hey, head on over to ThankGodCancerSavedOurDivorcecom. There's more about us there. And God damn it, chico lives Y'all crazy bitch R-D-I-V-O-R-C-E, you gotta fight Aye aye, well, we're finally updating this part of the outro. Find us at ThankGodCancerSavedOurDivorcecom. Where else can they find us, jamie?
Speaker 1:You can search on Facebook for Thank God, cancer Saved Our Divorce. You can find us on Twitter, instagram and TikTok. If you at TGC SOD, what's that stand for?
Speaker 3:Thank God, cancer Saved Our Divorce T-G-C-S-O-D. What's that stand for? Thank God, cancer saved our divorce. T-g-c-s-o-d. Correct. That's weird. That actually kind of lines up it does. We'll take it, thanks.