My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and ME!
Imagine a groundbreaking podcast where your current wife and your ex-wife share a mic. In this captivating podcast, Denny takes center stage as he navigates conversations with Jamie, his ex-wife, and Amanda, his present wife, using nothing but a microphone to untangle the complexities of their intertwined lives. Together, they explore the challenges and triumphs of parenting, tackling sensitive subjects such as divorce, co-parenting, and the emotional journey of overcoming cancer while cheering on their shared daughter, Audrey. Throughout the episodes, our trio courageously confronts the realities of their relationships, discussing adoption, the dynamics of blended families, and the sometimes turbulent waters of step-parenting. This podcast invites listeners into an authentic dialogue about life and family, emphasizing the theme of "parenting without excuses." With humor, honesty, and heartfelt insight, Denny, Jamie, and Amanda offer a refreshing perspective on what it truly means to support one another as co-parents and navigate the complexities of modern family life.
My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and ME!
Would You Rather VACATION Style! Let's GO!
Brayden Broans is not just a guest; he's the wild card in our eccentric family deck. Ever wondered how one man can juggle a wife, an ex-wife, and his future all on one podcast? Welcome to "My Wife, My Ex-Wife, and Me," where I'm brave—or maybe foolish—enough to do just that. Join Amanda, Jams, Brayden, and me, Denny Broens, as we navigate our unique family dynamic with laughter, sarcasm, and perhaps the occasional eye roll. Imagine sitcom-worthy banter interwoven with heartfelt moments—this episode delivers just that, with a side of pop culture and a sprinkle of linguistic playfulness.
This week, we shake things up with our new double-feature podcast schedule, promising twice the chaos and twice the charm. Whether you're tuning in via TikTok, YouTube, or the Facebooks (yes, we said the Facebooks), prepare for an episode packed with more than just witty exchanges. From Brayden's upside-down Elon impressions to Amanda's wardrobe déjà vu, we celebrate the quirks that keep our conversations anything but ordinary. Dive into the hilarity and humanity of our not-so-typical family podcast—because who knew exploring life's intricacies could be this much fun?
I'm Amanda, the wife, and I'm Jams, the ex-wife, and I'm Brayden just the future.
Speaker 3:Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Denny Broins. I'm the only man dumb enough to get his wife and ex-wife in a studio to do a podcast. And here it is my wife, my ex-wife and me. That peace and happiness might be found there.
Speaker 5:You gave me hope, and now, Now we have to say goodbye, ouch, if there's any bitches in this room then there's something I gotta say For all the fools who fell for the first girl who comes their way. I've been down that road and I'm back Sitting on square one Trying to pick myself up.
Speaker 3:Where do I start it from my Wife, my Ex-Wife and Me. Starts now, starts right now, for this week's edition of my Wife, my Ex-Wife and Me, kind of a take two and me, you're the ex-wife and me I'm the me.
Speaker 2:I'm the me. You're not the me. No, you're the. Literally you're the and figuratively you're the ex-wife. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:You're the ex-wife Br.
Speaker 2:The ex-wife, yeah, yeah, you're the ex-wife Brayden's. The feature? I'm not even in the goddamn, I'm not even in the title. Well, you are Kind of.
Speaker 3:Featuring. My name isn't on it. No, you're me Right? Wife Amanda's name isn't on it, but wife Yours says. Featuring Brayden, brayden Broans. Alright, you seem almost like the star of the show yeah, never mind I'm just chris thinks so, chris thinks so oh, he said, cancer saved what?
Speaker 2:uh, that's a go listen to the first podcast.
Speaker 3:It's real shitty but it's well, the first few episodes are pretty bad.
Speaker 2:It'll give you a little bit of backstory, yeah they're not terrible yeah.
Speaker 3:So, chris, was listening to the last one, so don't adjust. We know that we're here for a second time in the same day. It's kind of the new way that we're doing podcasts. We're experimenting with schedules.
Speaker 3:We're experimenting scheduling, so they're going to be a little shorter. I think this is the perfect way to do it. We're going to see how it's going to work out, but it is a little awkward. But you know what? You get a double dose of us, of us, of us my name is Denny Berlinger, and the Every Joke has a Little Truth Studio. If you're watching us on TikTok or YouTube or the Facebook Instagram X, formerly known as Twitter, I think if you say that, you have to say the Facebooks.
Speaker 7:Is it the?
Speaker 3:Facebooks yeah. Brayden's doing the upside down, elon.
Speaker 2:He gave his heart out to everyone. He did, yeah, he gave his heart out to everyone. He did yeah, he gave it. He gave his heart out to people. That's what it was. He was sending his love. He was yeah, he was sending his from his heart because it was giving Valentine's Day. He was giving it.
Speaker 3:Hi Micah. Hi Micah, Welcome to the show. We appreciate you chiming in. He just gets away with it. He should get away with it. There's nothing wrong with it. It looks stupid. But yeah, hey, let's do some introductions. You want to? Absolutely yeah, Jams, you look just like you did last week.
Speaker 1:I know we're in the same shirt. I haven't changed much Less shiny, more shiny, less shiny. Well, that's about. Can you say what?
Speaker 3:Can you say what the Sigma no don't, don't why.
Speaker 2:It's something that the children came up with. Jet says it every day. What the sigma.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do you want us to have. Are you trying to record it? For what the sigma? I don't know what it is. Hey, you know what To my left. Can I call you like? Can I call you names when I do this? Can I call?
Speaker 7:you names when I do this, it's my whore ex-wife.
Speaker 1:Could I say that Don't you do that?
Speaker 7:I'm pretty sure I've heard the version of this the whole song says bitch yeah Right.
Speaker 3:So it's just like extra. If I call you a bitch, I'll say what the Sigma? I just don't know what I'm saying it for. How do you want me to say it? So, right now, what's happening for those of you listening to the podcast, if you ever find time to watch us live? What does Sigma? I don't know. I'm trying to figure this out. I am old, I am almost 50.
Speaker 2:Almost 51.
Speaker 7:Apparently it means extremely good or whatever. Yeah, that's me baby.
Speaker 2:Tell them. I got to say that there's not a urban dictionary.
Speaker 7:Sigma is an Internet slang term, especially among young men, referring to a man whose self-assured, dogged individualism is considered a model of status, success and attractiveness.
Speaker 2:Someone Is that like what was the, what was the, what was the dude?
Speaker 7:that was like teaching men how to do cool things. I've got four. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Yeah, what was the dude that was teaching men how to do cool things?
Speaker 2:Andrew.
Speaker 1:Tate.
Speaker 7:Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
Speaker 1:It can also mean extremely good and is also widely used as a nonsense term and meme online what the Sigma?
Speaker 2:What the good?
Speaker 7:That doesn't make any sense when we came up with slang terms when we were in high school.
Speaker 2:Like three-letter words, those are perfect.
Speaker 7:You knew exactly what we were saying. You knew exactly what point we were in high school. Like three letter words. Those are perfect. You knew exactly what we were saying. You knew exactly what point we were getting to Actual words Now people skippity toilet. What the fuck? Why are we saying this? Skippity toilet?
Speaker 3:Micah's dad is 52. I am 50.
Speaker 7:We're in totally new.
Speaker 3:No, I bet he's Braden's age. Micah, how old are you?
Speaker 7:Turns out, it could be anywhere between it could be between 26 and 3.
Speaker 3:27. Hey, you know what? That's not 27. It's my ex-wife Jams you ruined everything, you stupid bitch.
Speaker 5:You ruined everything. You stupid, stupid bitch. You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things and wants the world to burn. Bitch, You're a stupid bitch and lose some weight.
Speaker 1:Say hello Jams Hello.
Speaker 3:How are you doing today? I'm good. How are you? I'm doing okay.
Speaker 1:I think my leg's asleep.
Speaker 3:Micah, I don't know you well enough to roast you you don't want it from us anyway, if I get on a roll I can be pretty rough, we're mean but it's. We're trying to do a family show.
Speaker 1:With my poor ex-wife. My leg's sleeping, it is.
Speaker 7:Oh my God, you're 11? It's the craziest way to say that Braxton's age.
Speaker 3:I told you Okay, yeah, definitely can't roast you.
Speaker 2:Also don't watch this 13.
Speaker 3:Oh, now they're changing. All right, just kidding, could be anything.
Speaker 7:As long as you're what's?
Speaker 2:the age of. Oh what? Don't ask that way, I believe.
Speaker 3:Well, that's that's what that means. Can we block? I want to block micah. Oh, we can't block micah. He's. He's encouraging the show it could be he's going to like share and subscribe. Can you do that for us, micah? So jams you good to go, you feeling good? Yeah, your legs back awake, uh no, do you like your cat glasses?
Speaker 1:No, they actually broke and I nail glued them together.
Speaker 2:Where'd your new glasses go? White frames he changes them.
Speaker 3:I wear them occasionally. Those are his work glasses. You have white frames. They're not white.
Speaker 7:They're like a lighter. Oh my God, tan my leg hurts why don't you ask Amanda about a cramping leg. It's not cramping, it's ruined everything, oh a hamstring cramp dude is the worst.
Speaker 2:Nope, nope, nope, nope did you have to straighten it out in the midst of all of it. Hold on, I'm sorry you want to know you want to know.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm not asking for details, I'm just saying I understand in the.
Speaker 2:It was actually, it happened to me actually.
Speaker 7:It was like there was either straight or too bent. There was just like an image no, hold it right. There got no stop, stop, everybody's gotta stop. I'm sorry, I get it and I tried to just push through it. Cut it, shit.
Speaker 3:It was awful it was so bad uh, hey, it was so. Honestly, she was mad. I wasn't mad. Hey, sitting across from me and in between stepmom number two and stepmom number three and someone that's recently or not recently, soon going on a little trip, and guess what we're talking about today? A little trip, okay, because we've got a trip coming up. By the time you hear this we will have already been there and back home We'll probably fight the whole way Unless we move there. It's Young Brayden.
Speaker 1:Maybe you should try a bit harder, because you've got shit for brains I've been in this life.
Speaker 5:You won't get much smarter.
Speaker 3:Because you've got shit for brains. Say hello Brayden, Well, hello. You know it's funny. We're on the Kokomo Lantern podcast network and I talked to the guy that runs that, yeah, and he was like man, your son takes a beating on that show.
Speaker 7:He said, you should hear us off air.
Speaker 3:And I said yes, he does. That's what he said when we first started airing.
Speaker 2:Is that the same guy that was in Living Room?
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, and I was talking to him again and he said okay, your son deserves, Hit him harder.
Speaker 2:You know what? I have some things I'd like you to say that's right, you got to get some stuff. I have some notes for you.
Speaker 3:If you could just pass these along.
Speaker 2:Brayden, how are you doing today? You know what? What is it manifesting? I've caught a raccoon. Is it done?
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm sure it's done. I'm sure that's why she heard it so right now it's eating some bad chicken, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's not bad.
Speaker 7:How's the squirrel smell going now?
Speaker 2:Or possibly a couple of days.
Speaker 3:I just I'm not going to eat it, Amanda would have frozen it and not told me, because if it hits the expiration date in this house, it's gone. Christopher's back. Everybody say hey, welcome. Long time no speak A new fan favorite. Everybody say hey to Chris. Long time no speak.
Speaker 2:A new fan favorite of the show. I wanted it to smell.
Speaker 1:I wanted it to smell, so I was like it wouldn't matter, it would still eat it because it's a raccoon. Raccoons eat anything.
Speaker 2:Well, I didn't know the little bastard was going to greet me when I got up there, aren't they called trash? Pandas.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Isn't the first raccoon called Rocky?
Speaker 3:Oh, it's Rocky Raccoon.
Speaker 5:Rocky.
Speaker 2:Raccoon Rocky and I've never heard that. No, yep, yep.
Speaker 7:I didn't know he was a raccoon, oh yeah, funny story I told.
Speaker 2:do you remember the story of me, you, garrett and Tracy camping when you had your red Dakota? Yeah, and we were telling scary stories and you got mad at, I think, garrett and I, cause we kept saying we were hearing stuff. And then you shine the flashlight on your truck and there were eyes all over the food and there were 30 sets of eyes looking back at us.
Speaker 3:And like we were all wide awake, there wasn't like do you remember when we went away from that goddamn truck, wasn't it?
Speaker 7:Brown County, we were unloading stuff. In the middle of the day we had just gotten to the campsite, we were still unloading shit and had them climbing up in the trailer.
Speaker 6:Yeah, in the middle of the day, yeah they don't give a damn they were up in the air and breaking news has just come across the desk in the. Every Joke has a Little Truth studio. Take it away, Denny.
Speaker 3:Thank you, Tabby. Breaking news has come across this correspondent's desk. I didn't think it was a raccoon. I think it was a raccoon.
Speaker 1:It's a moose and a squirrel. I'm trusting.
Speaker 3:Brittany, because she's my friend. I'm trusting that she's giving us accurate information.
Speaker 2:Well, we're having two googlers right now.
Speaker 3:Rocky was a squirrel in the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they are god damn it.
Speaker 2:I hate being wrong.
Speaker 7:That's what I said I didn't think it was a raccoon and making myself, because there is a song, rocky Raccoon yes, and I was like.
Speaker 3:I know one was a moose matter of fact I do P do odd or Piper song. Piper Marie will climb up a tree was done on that same tune.
Speaker 2:The first raccoon that goes and scouts everything. His name is Rocky Rocky. Rocky raccoon, Cause he's the scout. Thank you for bringing that to us. So now manifesting yes, I have, I have a caught. I have a caught raccoon, Okay, and also I'm three to five inches taller, I don't know.
Speaker 7:What happens? If you get up there. There lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon, and one day his woman ran off with another guy, hit young Rocky in the eye.
Speaker 3:That's a song.
Speaker 7:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 5:Would you?
Speaker 7:like me to play it Sure if you've got it right there, just put it up to your microphone.
Speaker 4:Now, somewhere in the black mining hills of Dakota there lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon. Rocky Raccoon One day his woman ran off with another guy hitting young Rocky in the eye. Rocky didn't like that. I don't remember this part. I don't want to get that boy.
Speaker 2:I got to say maybe we pause.
Speaker 3:Maybe we pause. Let it get to the hook.
Speaker 5:Rocky Raccoon Jacked into his room oh yeah, Only to find Gideon's Bible. Rocky had come Equipped with a gun To shoot off the lands of his rivals.
Speaker 3:Alright, that'll do it for that song, maybe not? I mean, what'd I say?
Speaker 7:I said we should pause. Everybody Shoot off the nads of his rival. Is that what it said?
Speaker 3:Oh my, you're not that old Brittany, come on, no, brittany is also watching us on Facebook Live right now. If you're watching us, you can watch us live on TikTok. You can watch us live on the.
Speaker 2:YouTube it legs, legs of his rival?
Speaker 3:was it the legs? What? Were you just reading it before the before that, before? Um, I was talking about the. What if you poke your head up in your attic? Yeah, and in fact, there is a raccoon and a squirrel in the same case you are federally you will never get that out of your.
Speaker 1:What's that smell? Oh, you know, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Look, the good news is the chicken will be gone.
Speaker 3:The chicken will be gone, and so will Braden's fingers if he tries to. No, I wore gloves.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Well they definitely couldn't get through gloves. I told Alexis. I said go give me my gloves so I can save my fingies. I don't want them bit. I don't want them bit. I don't want to get chewed off. You're going to need some good gloves to protect those fingies, I'm going to go find this raccoon and I'm just picking up.
Speaker 3:You're going to win. You're going to teach the lesson. I'll shake it around.
Speaker 1:Wait until he gets up there and it's way bigger than he thought we had a sick one in our backyard and Garrett failed to kill it sick.
Speaker 3:It was still scary, yeah, well, and that, that's because it would stand up and fall down.
Speaker 2:This temper is scary, that's.
Speaker 5:That's why I I like when I was faced when I was charged people to watch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, actually can you record it face with this thing, like I really thought. I was like are you gonna come in here?
Speaker 3:yeah, because oh yeah they will, you're in was ways away and I was like okay, maybe I'm.
Speaker 5:They're so fast I understand that.
Speaker 2:Also, I could only see his eyes and his shoulder blades and I was like, how much more are you?
Speaker 3:There's a lot more of it. How much more are you?
Speaker 2:I will tell you this.
Speaker 3:You wanted my 22.
Speaker 2:My favorite story. Tell it. Are you telling it so that you could kill this thing?
Speaker 3:I'm going to tell you this To fuck you up. You wanted my 22. My favorite story. Tell it. Are you telling it, yes, so that you could kill this thing when you were just a boy?
Speaker 2:I love this. This is my favorite. I don't even know if you were born yet I wasn't. I wasn't.
Speaker 3:I was married to your mother, or at least she was living with me. Oh, tune in and I had this lean-to garage with no door and there was something up above and I could always hear it up there moving and I was finding raccoons or raccoon dung all over the place.
Speaker 2:Which is also. It's a lot like my turds. Yeah, I mean they're huge.
Speaker 3:Brandon took one up there and measured them.
Speaker 2:He's like this one's mine, this one's theirs. I said, Alexis, they're the exact same. This is so crazy.
Speaker 3:So I go out there with my, I have an idea and I I climb up and I look and I have my flashlight and it's one of those. Back in the day you could get a mag light like a big yellow and black. No, no, this was a long cylinder black.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, like the police would carry that in and I, and I shine that thing up there and, just like brayden just said, there were eyes looking back at me and so I went and got my 22. And I got up in the back of that garage because it was in the county.
Speaker 3:I wasn't going to shoot anything in my, in my attic, with my children running around. So I I get up there, I I do the, you know, I get the light and put the thing on my. You know I'm set up and ready and I pop.
Speaker 5:Because you wanted to be a police officer.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm, I shoot it, pop, I hit it. It runs around up there. I'm like, yeah, that's right. Nope, I'm like all right, you need it again because you ain't done. He scurs around. Well, the second one. Well, well, the second one. Well, second one. First one hurt, second one pissed him off.
Speaker 7:He said oh you, you won't play you. This is what. Okay, now you got my attention.
Speaker 3:So now he scurries on the rafters towards me. Yep, and I'd like walk backwards and kind of put my arms up like what's going to happen.
Speaker 5:Well, hold on, please don't.
Speaker 3:This thing falls down out of the rafters and hangs by its back feet and this thing was huge. And I'm like, oh shit, what have I done? And I've got my gun and I'm backing up because now I was an idiot. Back then I had a 22. I thought it, you know. I thought all guns just kill things. Yeah, I didn't know that a .22 would just put a hole in you and piss you off. Oh really.
Speaker 7:God damn it. It's got so much fat and hair and stuff Just right.
Speaker 3:You need to hit it in the eye. So's coming at me and it's ready to fight. So I'm walking back. Did you say it's grunting? Oh, it's making all kinds of? I back up and I'm like pop and I shot it and before long I was just like pop, pop, pop, pop. And finally, about four feet from me, that motherfucker finally stops and just fall and he just like and then he just lays there. You can't do it anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it turns out he was just playing britney.
Speaker 2:He is about the same age as your grandpa hey that's not very nice I bet I shot him 11 times I told this story to alexis and it took me seven minutes to tell because I'm hyperventilating. Didn't you make my mom clean it up? Hell yeah.
Speaker 3:I did, yeah, I did, and I still remember this is horrible. I remember her scooping that up with a snow shovel, yeah, and throwing it in the field next to the house, yeah. And then that isn't where I stopped with bad ideas. What did you do next? I shot a skunk that was getting in our trash. No, except I was really smart. I was much like Braden. When I was young, I shot a skunk on my back porch and killed it right there. That time I was a good shot, killed it dead and then it died and let all of its nastiness just come out that's what happens.
Speaker 3:Yeah, how much is? Four stone? I don't know what that means nastiness, just come out. That's what happens.
Speaker 7:Yeah, how much is four?
Speaker 3:stone. I don't know what that means. You chased a four stone mammal with a .22. I did shit myself all down my leg and I thought because that thing was looking at me like you fucking with me.
Speaker 2:You want some of this.
Speaker 3:I got four legs bitch, and your gun ain't done nothing yet.
Speaker 2:And that's the way this one looked at me. It was so cute.
Speaker 3:Its eyes were watering. Oh no, this one wasn't looking at me. Cute. This one was like.
Speaker 1:I'm going to eat your face. I really need you to videotape you getting out of the attic.
Speaker 7:Deal and we might all just come back and sit with wine and watch.
Speaker 2:Y'all got it. Hey, I'm going to conquer this thing Not alive.
Speaker 3:One of you are going out.
Speaker 2:Promise it's, him.
Speaker 3:Well, to be fair, you have an advantage. He'll be in a cage. I tell you what your brother couldn't close one out I tell you what you guys have upset me for long enough. It's time for this. It's time I'm going to let that little son of a bitch loose.
Speaker 2:And I'll put it in your garage. You bring up, bring us a map.
Speaker 3:Let me give you some bad news. It'll be me and him. I've got a bigger gun now. If you put it in my garage, I won't have to shoot it a bunch of times.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not saying you kill him.
Speaker 3:I'm saying man, he ain't going to duke it out.
Speaker 2:I'm going to it, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 3:You're gonna shoot it.
Speaker 7:No, he's gonna fight it, is she gonna?
Speaker 3:come and drink wine or watch the show Both. Both of them You're gonna. Brittany's still choking it out. Look, he's shaking, he's choking.
Speaker 7:It's hard.
Speaker 1:But, they're a little claws, claws.
Speaker 7:Yeah, I don't care about any of them.
Speaker 2:You don't have eyeballs anymore. I want you to know that the only reason this is happening is because I was told I couldn't, and now you have to die like this. You're a sacrificial raccoon. I'm so sorry. And then you know what I'm going to do with your dead body.
Speaker 3:I'm going to put it on my dad's kitchen table. No, you need to make a hat out of it.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:We'll call Raiden Boone. I'm going to introduce my wife. Oh my God Across from me.
Speaker 6:Oh Christ, I'm just going to make a joke and I'm not going to.
Speaker 3:It's my beautiful wife.
Speaker 6:Amanda, I'm a bad bitch and I got bad anxiety. People call me rude because I ain't letting them. Try me Saying I'm a hoe because I'm in love with my body Issues but nobody I can talk to about it. They keep saying I should get help, but I don't even know what I need. They keep saying speak your truth and at the same time say they don't believe me. Excuse me while I get into my feelings for a second. Usually I keep it down, but today I got to tell it. Not that anybody gives a fuck anyway, but everybody talking shit probably sucks anyway. I don't even know how I feel. I don't even know how I do. Today I really hate everybody, and that's just me being real.
Speaker 7:Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, bad bitches have bad days too.
Speaker 6:Friday, Saturday, Sunday Bounce back. Hi, bad bitch, I'll waste you. All I really wanna hear is it'll be okay, Bounce back, cause a bad bitch can have bad days.
Speaker 3:How's it going, baby? Good. Yeah, you feeling good. So Brittany's wanting to be supportive while drinking wine. We're not supportive. We're not supportive. The wine she's got you, the supportive meh.
Speaker 2:They just want to see me get mutilated by a raccoon.
Speaker 7:Say this is just another one of your stupid decisions.
Speaker 3:How's that feel? So, speaking of decisions. Speaking of decisions, we've got a trip coming up Now. By the time this is released we will have been there, and come home we're doing a little four wheel drive excursion with our I'm so excited Next weekend. Brayden has recently said we may have to move to Michigan. Yeah, brayden has recently said he's going on a little, a little trip.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, he's going on a little trip. Oh yeah, I'm going on the first family trip.
Speaker 3:Jams no trips for you in the foreseeable future. No.
Speaker 6:I was going to make some jokes, but then I remembered the personality trait quiz and said nah, probably shouldn't.
Speaker 1:I mean, in April aren't we all going? Yeah, we all have a trip in April.
Speaker 3:Sorry, dude, that's all right, so I'm, are we?
Speaker 1:not doing april? Yeah, we are, why don't we?
Speaker 3:I don't know. I've already paid for it, so we better um. So I thought we would talk about taking trips and have a little fun with it. So this is a little trip, would you rather okay? So we'll just ask.
Speaker 7:Anybody can answer well, I missed a message from christopher. He lives in the uk. Yeah, that's why he said a 12 stone or four stone, I don't know. Still don't know how much that is so you, they can have private firearms.
Speaker 3:He's got a 12 gauge we can too. We just have to register them, if you want to and they say you can't shoot it.
Speaker 7:You're not supposed to shoot it within city.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you shouldn't so now, some of these aren't like exceptionally funny, but some of them are kind of funny are we giving braden advice on how to not fight the entire time on his road trip? Well, so when james and I would go on a trip a, we would fight. I don't know, a month before the trip, we'd fight you guys would fight on 465 in Indianapolis yeah. And I would think I could either drive this into oncoming traffic.
Speaker 3:Kill everybody, or off a bridge, or I could just turn it around, go home and never speak to her again. We're 45 minutes from home.
Speaker 1:But we always went.
Speaker 3:That's why we had a beach wedding. We did not have a beach fucking wedding. Our wedding was definitely on the beach. We have pictures to commemorate, brayden, is there a picture of you?
Speaker 2:on a beach for a wedding, because I remember who took them. I was there.
Speaker 1:Okay, First off it wasn't for the wedding they were just family pictures.
Speaker 2:It was right after the wedding meaning for the wedding.
Speaker 1:No, it wasn't because we went to King's Eye or Bush Gardens after our wedding at the courthouse.
Speaker 3:We went to Bush Gardens. Is Bush Gardens?
Speaker 1:code for anything or.
Speaker 2:Adventure Island. If Ronnie ever had a code I'd love to go back Like a free ticket or a season pass, whatever.
Speaker 3:No, well, yeah, you wouldn't want to fight Braden. He bites and does weird stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll kiss you on the mouth, Chris.
Speaker 7:Back to our helicopter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you just walk up.
Speaker 2:There goes, james again, do it again.
Speaker 3:That's so not right. Yeah, somehow her wiener would swing, because I have a wiener, he's done that. All right, here we go. I'm helicopter sales four. Would you rather travel questions edition. All right, so just you may not pertain to exactly where we're traveling to or where you're traveling to. By the way. Did you know when are you taking your trip for the Bahamas thing that you won? When are you doing that?
Speaker 1:Probably after football season, you won a trip to the Bahamas.
Speaker 3:We all did. Yeah, we won one too. What, oh shit. So now you've won it, garrett's won it and I've won it. Go to the mall and put in your name.
Speaker 2:You'll win.
Speaker 3:You'll absolutely win. Is it legit?
Speaker 2:Seems to be my account set up and they stopped taking payments.
Speaker 3:Well, my account set up and they stopped taking payments. Well, there's only three payments Of 59 bucks or something.
Speaker 2:No, mine was 88.
Speaker 3:Well, there's one you have to pay of 88 dollars For your extra person. I haven't paid that yet.
Speaker 2:It's also for like the fees? Are you like the Margaritaville one? We haven't picked where we're going yet, so the only reason that Mine were three or four installments of 88 bucks because we're taking margaritaville. Um uh uh, cruise there and back, ah I just don't know, I don't know, we don't have a time frame.
Speaker 3:I think chris wants to see you do your helicopter jams to hit it again. Just like that, chris, look at okay there's a little more hip movement there, yeah I think you're getting stopped with the shoulders. All right, brayden, would you rather be able to talk you?
Speaker 1:really want a Bahamas trip.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, all at separate times. Garrett to. I won first Garrett's one. Yeah, is it true, you can get to Hawaii with a driving license.
Speaker 7:No, no, I mean yes, you could get there, you just can't drive. You can't drive there, no.
Speaker 3:Hit me Pop. Would you rather be able to talk with animals or speak all foreign languages? All foreign languages.
Speaker 1:All foreign languages? Oh no, talk to animals. Oh, fuck that I want to talk to animals, I don't. Yeah, you definitely will.
Speaker 7:Hey, every time you come over and hug me and pet me real hard, I fucking hate it.
Speaker 6:I cannot hear Eddie talk down to me Could you imagine what if you went to like a.
Speaker 7:What would he sound like? Hey?
Speaker 3:I have.
Speaker 5:Hey.
Speaker 2:That's not what His eyes are, way too.
Speaker 3:Honey, you want to talk to animals, animals all day. What would Chico say?
Speaker 5:Fuck you, fuck you. I hate you, I hate you, I'm fucking dead.
Speaker 7:Oh, nacho, probably the same. What do you think Coach's? Last words were Except when you're mean to him.
Speaker 5:God damn, these are good. Holy shit, I can't breathe, I'm getting tired.
Speaker 2:Where's?
Speaker 3:Brayden, I can't see anything. Him and that girlfriend will be back soon.
Speaker 2:No, do we? I think I have to poop. He had a smoker's cough. He sounded like my mom, I guarantee it, amanda or Mandy, whichever one's here.
Speaker 3:Would you instead upgrade your hotel room to a suite or move your flight to first class? Which do you do, Jams?
Speaker 1:Flight to first class because you're rarely in the room. You're just in there to sleep. It's not like you're.
Speaker 7:And we don't skip on hotels anyway, so like it's not a suite, but I'm still comfortable in it, Right and a flight. I slept on the floor of the last flight we were on, I know that it is flight.
Speaker 3:So you do the same thing, brayden, you would upgrade. I don't upgrade to first class very often, unless you can catch a really good deal, which I have been able to do a few times. And boy, it's just different living up there. It is Now. You're first one to die when the plane goes down.
Speaker 2:Well, you also. It has to be on the correct flight. One time I got bumped up to first class because I was in the military. Yeah, they kept the goddamn light on the whole time. I just had to watch the stewardess make people drinks. Hey could I get one In a second? Like it was miserable, oh so they knew.
Speaker 3:They knew you were just a scavenger sitting over there.
Speaker 2:You got lucky, Bubba you don't belong here, sit there quietly.
Speaker 3:You're not one of us. Sit up here, shut up and enjoy it, jams. Would you rather tour all of the world's vineyards, breweries or distilleries, vineyards, vineyards, raiden, distilleries I would do distilleries as well. I would do distilleries as well, would do distilleries, yeah what would alexis?
Speaker 2:do whatever I want yeah yeah, and you wouldn't want to do the but she doesn't like wine, like she's not a very I'm not, she's not a crazy drinker, but she would like the. The distilleries are cool because it's like it's showing how everything is made. Same thing with wine. But the wineries are too. Don't you go and actually watch them stomp grapes and all that Like?
Speaker 3:the distilleries are cool because it's like it's showing how everything is made. Same thing with wine. Well, the wineries are too. Don't you go in and actually watch them stomp grapes and all that stuff? We didn't see any grapes. They push them with their wieners.
Speaker 7:We didn't see any grape stomping. We did get to sample a lot of wine. It was pretty cool. Who'd you go with?
Speaker 3:I went with a work friend she wrote somebody to message her on TikTok and now she doesn't do it anymore. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:Now she's with a 50-year-old.
Speaker 3:Would you instead be left behind in the bush on an African safari? Oh God, no. Or be left behind in the water on a scuba trip.
Speaker 2:All right, bush, give me a tiger.
Speaker 3:I'll sed me a tiger.
Speaker 5:I'll Fuck the ocean.
Speaker 2:I'll seduce a tiger, I can't do shit with a shark.
Speaker 5:I'm sorry, sir, here tiger, tiger, here tiger tiger, where is it again?
Speaker 3:The African bush.
Speaker 7:Okay, that would be a lion, not a tiger, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 2:I can still Either way. I can still do something wrong.
Speaker 1:Lions and tigers and bears on by no bears, no bears, zebras it's just much meaner shit have you ever watched.
Speaker 3:Do you guys watch those?
Speaker 2:stupid videos no it's just you.
Speaker 7:You're the only person that Animals eating.
Speaker 3:I'm telling you right now you're born and, like you know instinctively, I'm probably going to die in the first week.
Speaker 2:Well, have you ever seen one where, like a zebra is giving birth or an antelope is giving birth, the antelope like it, baby pops out, leopard comes and eat it, mom runs away and it's like, hey, you still have, like, the fluid on you dude?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Because they it's called disemboweling too. They go and they eat them from the butt first, and it's disgusting.
Speaker 2:You can see sometimes lions, or sometimes you'll see a zebra with an actual bite out of, like its asshole, because that's where they got bit and they ran away. It is so strange. It is so strange, I know, but why do you watch?
Speaker 3:it, it's so it's hard to look away.
Speaker 2:Here's another thing dude, and this is morbid. Have you ever ran across a video of like a mountain lion killing a dog? Yes, like a mountain lion would sneak up on a dog and then it's so slow and then the dog sees it and it just pounces and I'm like oh, and then here's zero chance you watch you watch these bigger animals like sometimes.
Speaker 3:The antelope brayden's talking about that probably weighs 240 pounds. Yeah, these bitches grab them by the neck and just climb a tree carrying their dead body and it's fast.
Speaker 2:It's faster than I can get up my stairs in my house. That if we're damn sure freak and guess what I'm just carrying me it is the placenta. Uh, chris, thank you dude, it's an analog whatever I didn't know they have those um jams.
Speaker 3:Would you rather go on an all expenses paid trip to a small town in the netherlands with your best friends or an all expenses paid trip to your dream destination with a frenemy? Let's start with the.
Speaker 7:Netherlands.
Speaker 6:Is there water.
Speaker 7:Is there accidental drowning possibilities?
Speaker 1:I'll take with my frenemy.
Speaker 3:Really, who would that be?
Speaker 7:Yeah, I know, Brittany. Why were we talking about that? That's awful. Why does he watch it? It's ridiculous.
Speaker 3:It was horrible. I watch it all the time.
Speaker 1:I don't know who my frenemy would be. It would be Caleb.
Speaker 2:Why are we confused?
Speaker 7:I don't know.
Speaker 3:Never mind. I don't know Never mind. You were right the first time no-transcript. Never mind, you were right the first time. Just stop talking, whatever it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it would be my frenemy because I would get to go to my dream location.
Speaker 3:You wouldn't want to go to the Netherlands.
Speaker 7:Honestly, I wouldn't mind going to the Netherlands, so I was like, eh, ah, you can go to the nether regions if you'd like.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, brown chicken, brown cow. I thought I had that saved somewhere, but I don't Brayden. What would you pick, netherlands, or you go into?
Speaker 7:You're going to go on vacation with your ex-wife.
Speaker 3:You can go with Brianna to your favorite destination.
Speaker 7:I'd get Netherlands. You tried that once when you signed up for Bahamas.
Speaker 3:Netherlands, netherlands, oh you and Quentin going to the Netherlands.
Speaker 2:Hey dude, I know things are weird right now. I got two tickets, let's go.
Speaker 3:Amanda, would you instead travel along the ocean?
Speaker 1:floor. Okay, it's going to be Brittany. She said she'd be my frenemy.
Speaker 3:You guys aren't frenemies.
Speaker 1:We're going to Bora.
Speaker 3:Bora. We can pretend Would you instead travel along the ocean floor or take a trip to outer space? Ocean floor.
Speaker 2:Fuck that.
Speaker 1:The ocean is so mad at us. The ocean is mad at us. Oh yeah, you know, only like 5- 7% 7% of the ocean has been explored. No fucking way, I'm going there, I know. That's why I think it's so cool.
Speaker 3:It's 7%, have you ever seen some of those freak fish with underbites and all that other stuff down there. The trains are amazing. Those are cool. I've seen videos of those.
Speaker 2:I've seen unsettling pictures about like of the ocean, like dudes, being so deep underwater and they're sitting on a cliff, an underwater cliff.
Speaker 7:And it just goes on forever.
Speaker 3:Did they ever take you in the ocean and just dump you off in the Marines. No, no.
Speaker 2:That would be scary. I had to go from land through ocean on a boat that crashed the last time it did it and sank Ooh.
Speaker 3:I like this next question. This is a good one. Yes, you would that. As a matter of fact, britney powell, following us on facebook right now, said you'll implode going to the ocean bottom.
Speaker 2:That just recently happened on an exploration going down the titanic we're in a couple of years ago yeah, no, it was, it was last year, and all of that is supposedly a hoax, because that was when all the Jeffrey Epstein stuff happened.
Speaker 3:Are those things?
Speaker 2:connected Because they wanted someone else to have a headline, who knows?
Speaker 3:I like this question.
Speaker 2:Let me hear it.
Speaker 3:Would you rather travel back in time to meet your ancestors or forward to meet your descendants?
Speaker 1:Forward.
Speaker 2:Back. Take me back Forward, back, take me back Forward.
Speaker 3:Why would you want to go ahead and meet Jets' grandchildren?
Speaker 7:To make sure I can let the line continue.
Speaker 1:Or do I have to kill them?
Speaker 7:Should this line continue on? Our goal is to raise people who will benefit society. I want to know how I did. I want to see a reminder report.
Speaker 3:You could go back in time and seduce me away from Angie, and Brayden would never be here.
Speaker 7:I was like three.
Speaker 3:Oh right, you should have made it weird.
Speaker 1:You said it.
Speaker 3:Well, I said it, but I meant like this version.
Speaker 2:She did make it weird.
Speaker 3:You're right, yeah I didn't mean, you're right, go back in the age you were well weird.
Speaker 7:That's just where my brain went dumb.
Speaker 3:Now we are watching a tv show.
Speaker 2:We just started this primeval american primeval oh yeah, with taylor kitch sexiest man alive, I hear you. Well, he's not sexy in this show yeah, but he's badass.
Speaker 3:It's a decent show, but you gotta be settled in to watch something that's very you have to be there. You gotta be in the right mindset to watch it.
Speaker 7:I am fascinated with those times, though, I love that pin for yourself time.
Speaker 3:Kind of like the animals.
Speaker 2:Jim Irsay's in that too. Yeah, that's his andeanapolis culture imploding.
Speaker 3:I hate him you shouldn't be doing anything but football when football sucks yeah you have one job, focus britney. Are you saying you don't like taylor kitch? Or oh, if she's saying that, she's wrong, oh all right, would you rather, for 15 minutes, wear a sweater and beanie in the Sahara or wander around Antarctica in a Speedo?
Speaker 5:Oh put me in the Sahara 15 minutes, sahara.
Speaker 3:I was going to say 15 minutes, either way.
Speaker 2:My wings don't fall off in Antarctica. I got to be honest as cold as it is to go inside.
Speaker 7:You have hypothermia, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Well, bless you People do the cold plunges all the time. I don't think it'll give them.
Speaker 1:For 15 minutes.
Speaker 2:That's different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can do it for like 15 seconds Fake news you can have hypothermia within like four minutes at those temperatures or some shit like that.
Speaker 7:I feel like that's an actual fact.
Speaker 3:Raiden, would you?
Speaker 2:rather climb Mount Everest or walk the entire length of the Great Wall of.
Speaker 7:China, Entire length of the Great Wall of China. I don't know If I had the training and stuff I'd climb Mount Everest.
Speaker 2:I'm a chubby guy.
Speaker 3:Man I don't know Going up on Mount Everest, all the people that are still up there. There are people up there still dead.
Speaker 2:I guess, there's a lot of trash and other stuff up there. Really Nobody can bring it down when shit like that happens. If a snowstorm comes in, everybody's dead, Everybody's dead. That scares me and there's crevasses in Antarctica and all that stuff. You just it's, you fall, never to be seen or heard from again. No one knows where you go.
Speaker 7:What do you say? Crevasses, crevasses, did you?
Speaker 2:say crevasses, that's how they say it.
Speaker 7:When there's a crack, cre Crevasses, that's how they say it when there's a crack Crevasse.
Speaker 2:Or a crevice, or a crevice no it's not crevice, though, Brittany.
Speaker 3:We agree there are dead bodies. That's what we were just kind of talking about.
Speaker 7:Maybe I would come down a package lighter than I went up. Who are you taking? I suppose that remains to be seen.
Speaker 3:Jams. This one's for you. Oh God, would you rather watch your? Lavatory door swing open during a meeting of the Mile High.
Speaker 1:Club. You know what the Mile High Club is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Brayden, are you familiar with the Mile High Club? Honey?
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm in it if it's individually.
Speaker 3:Brayden's up there beating off in the bathroom. No, you're not Mile High Club, or?
Speaker 2:I swear to Christ.
Speaker 1:You have to sour after you do that.
Speaker 6:And breaking news has just come across the desk in the Every Joke is a Little Truth studio.
Speaker 3:Take it away, Denny. Thank you, Tabby. I've lost control of the show she was talking about his routine.
Speaker 7:Are you talking about pooping? No, his routine is that he yeah, he jacks off the shits and pees in the shower. Poops, pe, beats off showers.
Speaker 5:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Good news is I was on a mission, mission accomplished.
Speaker 7:He just wanted to be a part of the Mile High Club, except he didn't have a partner.
Speaker 3:I didn't have a partner you beat off in an airplane.
Speaker 5:I'm in the club. I'm never flying again.
Speaker 3:I'm in the club. You are now Braden Gaddis. That is how you will be until the end of time.
Speaker 2:That's fine, I'm in the mile. Websites can change. The three of you aren't.
Speaker 3:I don't know that it counts. How do you know we have?
Speaker 7:a beat off in an airplane.
Speaker 2:How do you know? We haven't been in the mile high. You would have said it. Both of you are just fine with sharing information. All I'm saying is what exactly constitutes the Mile High Club? The end result Still the same for me.
Speaker 3:I disagree.
Speaker 2:How do you disagree the?
Speaker 3:end result is the same for me, I think the Mile High Club has to include two people.
Speaker 2:Well, I did. I checked my left and my right before I went in. I was in there for about 30 minutes. They had to have understood, sir.
Speaker 3:I'm joining the Mile High Club. Sir, can you please finish? Would you rather watch your lavatory door? Braden's sitting there. What Door comes open? Almost done. Oh no, I'm in the most vulnerable, just sitting there, got his feet up against the wall Just in there treating his body like the worst amusement park of all time. Oh my God, yeah. So do you want to get caught? The door swings open to that, or during the flight, you have an epic case of diarrhea.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm getting caught having sex. Getting caught Sex is fine, that's all right.
Speaker 2:I'm going to ruin everybody's flight.
Speaker 3:If I get diarrhea, you can say, hey, I got to do it. You guys didn't Not talking about shitting all over the walls.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I just got dizzy from how hard I just laughed, holy shit.
Speaker 3:Would you rather sleep in a bedroom located in a shark tank or the catacombs of Paris?
Speaker 2:Shark tank Catacombs of Paris is freaky, deaky. I have to go to the sharks. Am I deep, deep in the water? I think I would do catacombs.
Speaker 7:Really no way. I think that stuff's cool, I think that whole altar there.
Speaker 2:You'd like it, I, I think that whole altar there. As above, so below You'd like it.
Speaker 7:Would you rather lose? I'm pretty sure I did watch it.
Speaker 3:Would you rather lose all of your?
Speaker 7:money or all of your photos? Yeah, I've seen it.
Speaker 2:All your money or photos? Is that what you said? All of your money or all of your photos?
Speaker 3:Chris is joining the Mahi Club with the pilot Money or photos but money or photos.
Speaker 2:Well, I've lost all of my money several times.
Speaker 3:Oh, I dropped $40 four times.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's I go.
Speaker 7:I went to subway, I lost my two pennies Shit. So I guess.
Speaker 2:I'd rather lose my money I'm already used to it.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I could lose all my pictures. I would be so, so sad.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and would be so, so sad. Yeah. And then last one Would you rather sit in the window seat every flight for the rest of your life, or in the aisle for the rest of your life?
Speaker 1:Window it's easy for me.
Speaker 3:Window.
Speaker 7:Window Window.
Speaker 3:Aisle, god damn.
Speaker 7:Yeah, you like the aisle because you don't want people climbing up Do you aisle, god damn. Yeah, you like the aisle because you don't want people climbing. I don't remember. Do you remember when you made people move? You're like, yeah, I'm sitting here on the plane. She's like, but that's, yeah, I'm sitting here well it is, he just stood there.
Speaker 2:It is odd to have people no shit straddle you to get out like well, but it wasn't.
Speaker 1:If you're in the aisle, if you're in the window, no one's climbing. Once you, once you get in, you're in.
Speaker 3:I sat. No one's climbing over you. Once you get in, you're in, I sat. I like the aisle because I'm, you can make more space. The wall isn't pushing me on this side and a person on this side. I feel like I could stretch out a little bit. But what you're talking about is I was sitting next to you, yeah, and this person was alone and it was like three rows back.
Speaker 7:Well, it had agreed to change and had not wanted to change.
Speaker 3:And then she said, no, I'm going to go ahead. And I was like, no, I'm sitting here.
Speaker 7:You organized a switch and they were okay with it, until she realized that she was going to have a middle seat instead of an aisle seat and she said no, I want the aisle seat. And you said I'm sitting here.
Speaker 3:I just said no.
Speaker 2:Well, that's the good life. You're going to move me. Have you seen those videos? Of people on airplanes and he was next to his very pregnant wife. Have you seen these videos of these people on these airplanes freaking out? Oh yeah, like that's my seat, but I'm not moving so what happens next?
Speaker 3:What are you going to do about it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, You're going to whoop my ass. You're about 80 pounds with a backpack of water.
Speaker 3:Nothing you can do about it at this point.
Speaker 2:And guess what? Again I fight. Naked Jams hit it.
Speaker 3:Hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it. Hey, you know what time it is?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's time for some real shitty advice.
Speaker 3:We're going to save some relationships? Probably not. It's the most wonderful time.
Speaker 7:Of this goddamn podcast. Yee-haw, did you really?
Speaker 1:think this was going to be a feel-good segment. Are you insane like?
Speaker 7:me Welcome to Relationship Advice with Ams and Jams.
Speaker 1:I see red, red oh, red, well, you asked for our advice.
Speaker 7:We just hope you're ready for brutal honesty, and boy is it always brutal.
Speaker 3:Dear Ams and Jams, here we go. My husband and I, both early 40s, are at our nine year marriage mark. I guess you'd both be there For some reason. Sexual intimacy has been a problem for the last six months.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, oh yeah, Once we even argued that, I told him clearly that I want sex as researched. I offered him a schedule to have sex every Thursday and Saturday. That's like one weekday, one week end. Who knew At this time? He told me he will work on this issue and agreed to have sex as scheduled. That's disgusting. I love just reading that he agreed to have sex as scheduled.
Speaker 7:As scheduled, as his duties pertain to our marriage agreements.
Speaker 3:To our marital Contract. Yeah, he always tells me that the problem is his busy work schedule and he is always stressed from work. But when we got together he always initiated sex and expressed his desire through kisses and sudden touches. The problem is his prostate. I just grab Amanda's boobs constantly. Back then I felt desired, but starting from six months ago I started doubting myself whether I am good enough a woman to him. It was a weird statement Back then. Whenever I tried to initiate sex, he was always reluctant by saying when women initiate, it is an utter turnoff to me. I completely disagree. Oh sorry, dude, you're a weirdo. Yeah, completely disagree.
Speaker 1:That's so good. Fuck it, leave him. Yes, Brittany, thank you.
Speaker 3:Brittany must be listening to jams. Fuck it, leave him. She says so I stopped initiating. Then he kept on ignoring the fact that intimacy is crucial. He doesn't touch me at all. Even kisses became cheek kisses. No french kisses, nor subtle kisses.
Speaker 2:No touches at all no contact whatsoever you mean we can't french kiss.
Speaker 3:I would like to Spanish kiss, please. Can I oriental kiss, even if I'm dressed up, he doesn't say comments to make me feel desired. Last three weeks we've had nothing, no sex at all. I think this is the first time we have gone no sex for three weeks. Yesterday was our nine-year anniversary. Guess what? We had no sex for three weeks. Yesterday was our nine year anniversary. Guess what? We had no sex today. I told him that the agreement we had six months ago is still not fulfilled. You are in breach of contract. Then I don't feel desired and I feel bored and the relationship with him seems pointless to me. Feeling undesired, unwanted and not feeling feminine irritates me, to the context that I start to dislike him. I don't think that's what you meant. They're both 40, right?
Speaker 2:Sorry to interrupt. In their 40s, yes.
Speaker 3:His argument was the same His work, his stress and that I don't understand him and make him feel at ease. Hey, ams and Jams, help me. What should I do?
Speaker 2:Leave him these hey, ams and jams. Help me, what should I do? Leave him, go, get yourself a 22 year old and let him rock your socks off uh, britney twice with the leave him or leave him or go cheat on him press the start button and that's located in the area of the prostate you again with the finger in the butt. I don't know why I have to keep saying it. How many times have you had a finger?
Speaker 1:in the butt.
Speaker 2:I don't know why I have to keep saying it how many times have you had a finger in your butt? Zero, well, zero. Why do we?
Speaker 3:have to keep having there are certain things you should never say on this podcast. These people right in I will isolate that bitch, and you will hear it once a week.
Speaker 2:Why do we have to keep having these people write I can't, my husband won't have sex with me. You know what? Take your shirt off in the middle of the day and say come get it how hard, is it?
Speaker 7:She said such gross. It's not a turn on when women want. Okay, what's your problem? Then he's cheating on you I mean if he loses all interest, or maybe he's decided he prefers wiener.
Speaker 1:Or maybe he's just not that into you anymore.
Speaker 2:Put your finger in his butt and see how he reacts. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Do you really think putting a finger in his butt is going to Especially?
Speaker 7:when she can't even get, she can't even get him to stick something in her Hold.
Speaker 2:Still, I'm trying to get it in there. Quit clinching, goddammit, this is supposed to be sexy.
Speaker 3:It sounds like Chris is wanting to get you over there. He says your visa's ready. What's up, Chris?
Speaker 2:He wants to put a finger in your butt. All right, brittany.
Speaker 3:Thank you for the information. Oh, that brown. It is absolutely a situational basis.
Speaker 2:I will give you that.
Speaker 3:Head a little close to home.
Speaker 2:That's funny right there. Here's what all I'm saying is spice a little thing up. It doesn't have to be index finger, pop a thumb in him, what are you?
Speaker 7:mad about I would. I mean, I don't think scheduling sex works. You guys are broken.
Speaker 7:Maybe schedule some date nights. Try to romance him this is a last ditch effort because I'm on the leave him train but try and romance him and need to be romanced as well, say. And if he's not willing to do it and if he doesn't have any interest in saving your relationship, then I think that's what you need to hear from him I meant the shirt coming off during the day, oh, not the finger on the butt what you need to add that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the way you need to add that that delay, uh, that delay you need to add that that delay For those of you that are not watching. If you're listening to this podcast, what had happened was I just got done.
Speaker 2:Talking about Brayden was talking about putting a finger in the butt and one of our listeners, Brittany, says that doesn't work either.
Speaker 3:What she meant was taking the shirt off in the middle of the day.
Speaker 2:I just I can't Something. He's either cheating on you or he's getting ready to give you a couple pieces of paper that you're going to be asked to sign.
Speaker 7:Or he's I mean men go through things, especially when you get up closer to that age where stuff starts to not work and he's embarrassed by it. But you guys have got to talk about that.
Speaker 2:There are multiple services HIMSS, viagra, there are several.
Speaker 7:I tell you what. Which one works for you. If he's not willing to talk about it or admit that there's an issue, why aren't you?
Speaker 3:thanking me Everybody has to be willing to be honest about that though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean if your wife is coming to you and saying we're not having sex. Please have sex with me.
Speaker 7:your wife is coming to you and saying we're not having sex. Please have sex with me If she's coming to you so vulnerably.
Speaker 2:At that point you've got to be like look there's something going on with me.
Speaker 1:He's watching porn, taking care of himself.
Speaker 2:There's something going on with me. It's not you.
Speaker 3:I don't think we've ever had as spirited a discussion as that one on Ams and Jams.
Speaker 2:Well, because this is insane to me, how this, this keeps happening this keeps happening happens in a lot of relationships dear ams and jams.
Speaker 3:About a month ago my husband and I went to a plastic surgery consultation for a revised breast augmentation bigger or smaller, bigger, right.
Speaker 7:I had another baby and they just needed fixed a little bit oh, so fixing, while I was talking with the surgeon, I had mentioned that and they just needed fixed a little bit.
Speaker 3:Oh. So fixing Firming up. While I was talking with the surgeon, I had mentioned that I didn't like my mom pooch, and the surgeon said that I am not a candidate for liposuction because it's not fat but loose skin from carrying four kids. However, a tummy tuck would fix it, but it's genuinely not needed because I'm fairly lean. For context, I'm 105 pounds, 5 foot 2 inches tall.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, she's a little munchkin.
Speaker 3:She's a little tiny girl, a little munchkin. Fast forward to this. Last week I needed to make a decision on the tummy tuck. Over the last month I have oscillated like a fan between doing it and not doing it. To be fair, when I heard the word.
Speaker 7:That's what I thought too.
Speaker 3:But ultimately Just like this.
Speaker 2:I have two choices. Should I do it?
Speaker 3:Should I not do it? Sorry, we're not making fun of you.
Speaker 3:Kind of Kind of Bum, fun Christopher said bum fun kind of uh, but ultimately I decided I was comfortable with my skin and I may not be comfortable with a scar. My husband seemed very insistent that I do the tummy tuck. Whenever I discussed the pros and cons, he would tell me I should just do it. I expressed my reasoning on not wanting to do it to my husband and committed to not getting the tummy tuck. His response was that I needed to book another consultation and go over my concerns instead of just being supportive of my choice. Oh boy, a few days go without discussing it and I had my shirt up to see something on my chest and he looked at me and said are you sure you don't want a tummy tuck?
Speaker 1:oh, you dumb fuck yeah, that sucks, dude completely unprovoked.
Speaker 3:There was no discussion discussion on recent days about it and I had made my mind up and said that I liked my body enough enough. He claims he thought I was looking at my stomach and not my chest, but I had specifically told him. I had a weird bruise on my chest. Brianna Morgan said leave him too. That's Bree Brayden. That's the one you were looking for in the Outback.
Speaker 2:Oh is it, yep.
Speaker 3:So now you can laugh for her, so she can hear you laugh.
Speaker 2:I think she's been listening. Yeah, she has been. She texted me laugh for her so she can hear you laugh.
Speaker 3:I think she's been listening. Yeah, she has been. She texted me. It seemed very much like he saw my stomach and has thought was to. That's how it would make me feel Was to try and get me to have surgery. I don't know, I can definitely see I may be overreacting, but it felt so rude. Am I overthinking this?
Speaker 7:It was overrude. If you like yourself the way you are, then that's enough.
Speaker 3:Then fuck him we have right here. Brian or britney says leave him right under, brie says leave him jams and amanda say leave him jam. Uh, I'll spend time with you in front of your husband. I promise he will love you. At 40 minutes, chris is offering to come back from across the pond and change your life. That's what he's expecting.
Speaker 7:Make some adjustments.
Speaker 2:There are three things in a man's life.
Speaker 7:The only thing I would say is maybe he is worried that you will be self-conscious of yourself if you don't do it later. But later on in the story, the way he said it, it sounds like he's just trying to make you look like what he thinks your image should be.
Speaker 2:You don't talk about religion. You don't talk about religion. You don't talk about politics. You don't talk about changes to your spouse's body. You just don't. You don't buy him clothes, god damn, you don't buy him clothes, you can't win.
Speaker 3:Buy him too small. You're a fuck stick. That shouldn't you want me to be this size.
Speaker 2:Is this what you want me to be?
Speaker 3:Buy him too big.
Speaker 2:Oh, you think I'm this big, I'm some lord Cannot win no dude Get him a gift card. That's why you always go with there.
Speaker 5:So what's the Now?
Speaker 3:a gift card. That's like the next worst thing you can do. Why?
Speaker 7:Okay, we're married, we wake up on Christmas or it's your birthday, here, jams, here's a $200.
Speaker 1:Christmas card no, okay 50. Not Christmas.
Speaker 2:You go to TJ Maxx.
Speaker 1:I wanted to buy you a shopping trip, so here's a gift card.
Speaker 3:Oh, just on the whim.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, what do you expect me to buy him with this?
Speaker 7:This isn't enough. That's because you would have given her $10. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I would have given her $10. Five times Dear Ams and Jams. Did we help this last lady? Did we Leave them? Everybody Dear Ams and Jams. Did we help this last lady? Everybody says leave them. Chris offered to bang her.
Speaker 2:I forget what she said.
Speaker 1:No, she's got a mom pooch. Just leave it.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you don't talk about changes in your spouse's body. Moving on, dear Ams and Jams.
Speaker 3:Last one Just take me shopping and tell me I'm pretty Seems easy enough, and feed you tacos, that's right and margaritas, all of those things.
Speaker 7:Because after shopping you're hungry.
Speaker 3:My husband and I have been together for nine years, married for five. He was showing me a video on his phone the other day oh, he forgot the door's open and a text came through from a female name that I didn't recognize.
Speaker 5:Andrea.
Speaker 3:That I didn't recognize. I asked who it was and he said she's a colleague from a company that his company works closely with. Obvious, she goes to a different school, duh, he has text previews turned off, so I couldn't actually see what was said, but my suspicions they were raised as they should have been. Maybe Chris should go bang the 47. I think that's what he was offering. He was offering to bang this last one, I think this one.
Speaker 7:The other one too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, got it. Just bang them all. Chris Hell, that's not a pretty system. I know it's wrong, but when he was in the shower that evening I looked through his phone to see who this girl is. She's gone and why she's texting him. Everything's gone.
Speaker 3:I found out that they've been getting coffee and lunch during the workday, sometimes to talk about work, sometimes not Prior to last week, it was maybe once a month communications to plan these, but then she joined a board that he's on last week, so they had a board meeting and then seemed to go out as a group for drinks after until about 11 PM. I did know that he was out with his colleagues during this time and wasn't concerned. What is concerning is that he texted her that night making sure she got home safely and telling her how much fun he had, but that he'd been hoping to have more opportunities to talk uh, with her instead of everyone else. The next morning he texted her good morning and asked her to drinks one-on-one next week. Oh boy, oh yeah. She agreed and he said he couldn't wait. We can't help this guy. He's fine, sorry, dude, of course I looked her up and she's very pretty, probably in her mid-20s. Brittany says it's premeditated.
Speaker 2:I had this shit planned all week.
Speaker 3:As Bree says, it was premeditated.
Speaker 2:Believe him. Sorry, I thought it was Brittany.
Speaker 3:I asked him again later who she was and what their connection was. He reiterated that she's a colleague and is helping get him connected with exciting opportunities in her organization Something's excited. I know he's been really focused on networking and she has a lot of high up community connections that it looks like she's introduced him to All of these new goddamn terms.
Speaker 3:He's also a friendly guy who likes to be involved through board work and professional groups, ams and jams. I don't want to go scorched earth and accuse him of anything inappropriate, since my insecurity has been a major issue we've had to work through in the past, but I'm terrified he's going to cheat on me. Would you send off alarm bells for you? Yes, and how would you respond without accusing him and ruining the marriage?
Speaker 1:Oh honey, you need to. Jamie's getting the gas can.
Speaker 3:Right now look at this Everybody's like, fired up Let me tell you about this motherfucker.
Speaker 7:Because how many times do we have someone come in here where we're like, oh if they told you about it. And we say the guy's intention is always to hook up with the girl, there's no reason for him to be texting her that unless he's trying to hook up with her if it was innocent, he would have told her, told the wife about her. Not I'm going out with my colleagues, no, I'm going out with this chick specifically well, that night he didn't go out with.
Speaker 7:I'm meeting with her right, but I'm meeting with her for coffee and drinks. Has she ever heard about that? No, because his intention is to at least have a backup plan, or he's trying to get in her pants. He's already cheated.
Speaker 2:He's already cheated and the emotional affair.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Not to mention. Let's just, we can skip all the other stuff. You went out drinking with colleagues before, made sure she got home All of that Innocent the morning text is the problem.
Speaker 7:Hey, dude, just want to make sure you got home, okay.
Speaker 2:Here's what I'm saying, though, here's what I'm saying. Did he text Janice Joe, I really liked your ass and I'm glad you got home. Here's what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying. The drinking with the colleagues sure you know what. Texting her to see if she got home. You can talk your way out of it, you can't. The morning after text sealed your fate.
Speaker 1:The morning after text saying that you wanted to have extra time and let's go get drinks alone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the morning after text was the was the approach. More opportunity Was the approach. It's him setting the bait.
Speaker 7:It's setting the bait.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Take the fucking gas, can Ladies? I've lived this life.
Speaker 7:That's the premeditation.
Speaker 1:Take the gas can Get some box of fucking matches.
Speaker 3:Look at Jams.
Speaker 1:And let it go.
Speaker 3:Burn it all down. Swing your wiener while you do it. Go ahead, burn it down.
Speaker 2:She's just seeing the flames and just yeah, Should have changed your password. Dick Dick.
Speaker 3:I would like for whatever your name is I don't take names I could respond Email us back in a couple of weeks and let us know how this is going.
Speaker 1:My money, tell us how big the fire was. Yeah, yeah, please, not. Well, take all of this stuff, put it on the front lawn.
Speaker 2:Here's what I'm guessing when did she send that? Could it have been last week?
Speaker 3:Yes, damage is done. Some of these are bad. Not only did those we probably already know what's happening Did the husband have sex with that coworker?
Speaker 2:Yes, Did she find out. When she she listens to this, she's going to say you know what? I am going to go look what's that bitch's name? Absolutely.
Speaker 3:You know what? Email us back with her name.
Speaker 2:I am curious what she looks like. I want to say it's.
Speaker 5:Andrea or Melissa.
Speaker 3:That's not a Melissa.
Speaker 7:Melissa's are usually not. Not in their 20s.
Speaker 2:Andrea is a good guess.
Speaker 7:Brianna.
Speaker 3:Not you, bri, not you Wait. She and I have talked about the other one, oh well that's a different, that's with one N. Yeah, one N is the difference. It's the N yes.
Speaker 1:I am living my life, oh fucking.
Speaker 2:There's so much more there. It is Dumbass spelling of her name. Yes.
Speaker 1:So much more than the dumbass spelling of her name.
Speaker 3:Yes, big ass head, giant head, it's so big. Sorry, we shouldn't be doing that. You know what we should do. It's time to talk about one thing. I love One thing. You love One thing. You hate Jams.
Speaker 2:You're first Good job, catching yourself, dude I heard it again. Jams I heard dude. I heard it again Ams.
Speaker 7:I heard you, I heard it. Don't worry, I love being called by the wrong name by my husband. Oh God.
Speaker 3:Oh, I've never done it in a bad time.
Speaker 7:No.
Speaker 3:Why are you?
Speaker 7:thinking, I'm thinking. I'm thinking Please don't think I'm trying to remember, and I hate that by the time this is being released, we'll be like weeks away from Isabel doing kindergarten roundup.
Speaker 3:Oh my god you'll be days away. Leo's doing it too it's going to be another situation where Isabel is in the same class with her nephew. One of her nephews is a year ahead because Maverick will be in the same. No, no, he'll be a a year ahead, because Maverick will be in the same. No, no, he'll be a year ahead too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Maverick will be in first next year and Jed will be in second and Leo will be in kindergarten this year.
Speaker 1:Brittany says I love wine. I hate that you still haven't put me on the podcast. You know what, brittany? I fucking agree with that. Why is Brittany not?
Speaker 2:on. I tell you what, brittany, I'm gone scattered over the next three months. Take my spot, deal.
Speaker 3:Oh boy, I don't think I could survive with three women in here.
Speaker 2:I need her and she's going to bring wine, yeah. Some of our best podcasters these three heifers are going to be wine drunk James is going to be swinging wiener there it is again that wiener has been all over the place.
Speaker 3:Brayden. One thing you love, one thing you hate. It's kind of fun having one isn't it.
Speaker 2:One thing I love is I like accomplishing things.
Speaker 1:Like catching raccoons.
Speaker 3:Yes, and finding out they're squirrels yeah.
Speaker 2:One thing I hate, and I cannot stress this enough I hate my children's mother.
Speaker 3:Didn't you say that last week? Okay, you're right, but we can't say it enough.
Speaker 2:I hold a very high amount of disdain for my children's mother. Okay, I'm just going to find new ways to say it. I'm going to find new ways to express it.
Speaker 1:Each week, still hate it. I love swinging my wiener. Yep, there it is again. And I hate Brayden's baby mama. I like dicks. I hate her. I hate Brayden's ex-wife oh wait, nope. I hate Brayden's wife Still current wife.
Speaker 3:That is your wife, your wife, I hate that she is still your wife.
Speaker 7:We're officially three years, because it's Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2:No, it's the sixth. We're three years tomorrow.
Speaker 3:Three years. You guys had dick to split Dick. I gave her all of it as a matter of fact you guys didn't own a car.
Speaker 2:You didn't own a house.
Speaker 3:You have spent more getting divorced than you had in the divorce.
Speaker 2:We're around about 50 grand into this divorce and most of it's yours.
Speaker 3:I'm telling you you've spent more to get out of it than you had while you're in it. That's the problem with the fucking she did give him the children, that's right. Yeah, Chris, let's not go down this rabbit hole.
Speaker 7:I like you and I don't want to be mean to you.
Speaker 2:I like you a lot.
Speaker 7:He loves his kids. He loves that they are used.
Speaker 2:I live for my children, and that's the problem.
Speaker 7:That's what she uses, that against him quite well.
Speaker 3:She uses it against me today.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you what I love.
Speaker 3:I love and it's funny you mention that I love coaching. I'm going to be an assistant coach this year. You got asked.
Speaker 7:I was allowed Well it's because he wasn't back with her Last year.
Speaker 3:he was with her again. There weren't rules in place this year that our kids can play baseball as long as Pops isn't available.
Speaker 2:Alexis and her friend are.
Speaker 7:Do we get, as you say, jams, and I can be team mom.
Speaker 2:Oh God, you guys don't want to be.
Speaker 5:Look at her. She does not.
Speaker 1:She said fuck, I've got to remember to bring snacks, fuck I can remember to go, but I can't remember snacks too.
Speaker 3:You know what I hate. Let's be unified. I'm doing the theme. I hate her too. Hey, head on over to ThankGodCancerSavedOurDivorcecom. There's a lot more over there. Chris hates her. Chico lives.
Speaker 5:Y'all, crazy bitch R-D-I-V-O-R-C-E, you gotta fight Aye, aye.
Speaker 3:Well, we're finally updating this part of the outro. Find us at ThankGodCancerSavedOurDivorcecom. Where else can they find us, Jamie?
Speaker 1:You can search on Facebook for Thank God, cancer Saved Our Divorce. You can find us on Twitter, instagram and TikTok. If you at TGC SOD, what's that stand for? Thank God, cancer Saved Our Divorce.
Speaker 3:TGC SOD Correct, that's weird. That actually kind of lines up it does. We'll take it, thanks.